Entrepreneur confessions: Win every Fight but lose the battle

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This article comes from foreign Science and technology blog Medium.com, author Nikki Durkin. The female entrepreneur tells the whole course of her career failure and tells me what it feels like to fail in the business. Long as it is, it is definitely worth reading.

Objective

Data show that 90% of tech start-ups have failed. In the early days of entrepreneurship, I never thought I would end up like this.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned about entrepreneurship was that it made me realize that my adaptability was actually much stronger than I thought. After I graduated from high school, I set up this business, and I was so naïve that I didn't even know what the business was. In fact, I don't even know what a start-up is! My idea at the time was very simple, and I was trying to solve a problem I had encountered: The wardrobe was full of clothes, but I still felt I had no clothes to wear.

Since then, I've come across all the problems that all entrepreneurs have experienced: Being stabbed by the co-founder, failing to finance, learning to use technology products, problems with technology products, sales stagnation, credit card problems, lack of funding, lack of user stickiness, lack of team, hiring of wrong employees, Fired I do not want to expel the staff, the product does not meet the market demand and so on, all you can think of entrepreneurial difficulties, I have experienced, and incredibly customer service all the difficulties.

But in the end I failed. I won every battle, but lost the whole battle.

I am willing to take full responsibility for the failure of this venture. Other people on the team are part of the business, but the failure of the business is absolutely irrelevant.

The media is always in the role of propaganda efforts. But they will only advertise those businesses that have worked hard and ultimately succeeded. For example, Airbnb, the company that initially sold breakfast and later transformed into a housing-sharing business, now has a valuation of billions of dollars. But you rarely see in the media those same efforts that have failed in the end. Few media outlets have reported on the entrepreneurial journey of these founders, not to mention the failure of these companies. But failure is the ultimate destination for many start-ups, and understanding the failures of others can also serve as a reference for our own work.

Before my business went bankrupt, I was frantically searching the web for reports of other startups failing, hoping to find someone in the same boat. But seemingly entrepreneurial failure of the people are isolated, the same, Connaught Big Internet, about the failure of the article few. Looking at people around me, every time I open Facebook and look at the latest news from other entrepreneurs, it's all about them releasing new products, getting financing or being bought. The photos they send are the happy and enjoyable scene of the entrepreneurial team. If I ask them what they're up to, they're talking about positive things. I do not know what they say is true, anyway the entrepreneur from the beginning was trained to only "gliding".

After that, although I found some news about the collapse of startups, I found that these articles never tell the founder's mind. After several years of effort, pay a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but to fall off the cliff, what is the feeling? Perhaps this is because most founders are men, and men don't like to talk about their emotions; maybe it's just that the founders were embarrassed by the failure, so they chose to avoid it.

I can't control other people, but I've decided to do something for entrepreneurs around the world: This is my entrepreneurial story, and that's how it feels to fail. I hope you can get some experience from my failure.

The beginning of the story ...

Many entrepreneurs say that failure is something to celebrate. They say, "Fail quickly, fail early, and fail more." Entrepreneurs are always encouraging themselves.

Let me tell you--the feeling of failure is awful. In fact, back in 2011, I had the idea of giving up. 9 months after my company was founded, everything went very well and I got a lot of consumers. But suddenly, as a result of some technical problems, sales suddenly stalled, and the momentum of growth was halted. What is worse, I do not know the technology, can only rely on others, I anxiously stand on one side. I went back to my parents ' home in the Australian countryside, locked myself in my room and cried for a whole week. That's when I had the idea of giving up. But in the end I persisted.

I felt myself sinking slowly in a black ocean, the sea light fading, and suddenly I lost my ability to swim to the sea.

During that time, the Australian media contacted me and wanted to interview me. In fact, as a teenage girl, I get a lot of attention from my own business. Although the company is experiencing a crisis, but I still have to accept the media interview, because this is my job, my duty is to show a positive and optimistic attitude in front of the media. At this age to start a business alone, but also a woman, a lot of people see me as an example.

But media coverage sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. I often feel that everyone's trust in me is something that I can't afford. For example, a journalist once asked me, "You must be very proud of what you've accomplished." His remark made me a bit overwhelmed because I never thought about it. Am I proud of what I've accomplished? We did get some consumers, but at the same time we have a lot of problems to solve.

If I answer him like this, he will say, "but you chose adventure, at least you are brave!" I never thought of it that way. In my opinion, the biggest adventure is to enter the university, find a stable job, and then the status quo. I mean, there's nothing wrong with going to college and finding a job, just not for me.

And even if I fail, the worst consequence is to move home with my parents. In my opinion, the truly courageous entrepreneurs are those who know that if they fail, they will roam the streets but still plunge into the entrepreneurial sea. My situation is that I have nothing to lose, so it is easy to choose the adventure.

When I was having trouble starting a business, my mother used to say to me, "Are you sure this is what you want?" for a 19-year-old, the pressure on entrepreneurship is too great. If you give up the idea of starting a business now, no one will despise you. "My parents are my biggest supporters, and my mom is just a mother's instinct and doesn't want to see me suffer, even though she knows it's hard to help me build a personality," she said.

However, I still decided to go on with my stomach cramps and all the money, the lack of a stable team, a lot of problems with the products, and the difficulties and challenges I had to make.

I didn't fail, I couldn't fail. This company is like my child. Even if I die, I can't let the company go bankrupt.

I began to become numb to the pain. I forced myself to sit at my desk and start to work, even though I could not see the hope every morning, or get up from the bed to desire.

In the end, I was ushered in a turnaround.

Lining

I applied for a team business plan competition from a university, and the prize for the game was 10,000 dollars. But this competition requires a team of at least 2 people. So I asked a friend to be my team partner and I paid him 500 dollars for it. The game went very well, I wrote a business plan and won the first place in the game. This money is enough for me to buy a plane ticket to America and rent a room.

I met my advisor and friend Matt in America and he gave me valuable support and help. He left the company because my developer was hospitalized with a serious illness. I've also found two technology-literate co-founders who have replaced the developer. After that, I went into Y Combinator's entrepreneurial Acceleration program and moved to Silicon Valley where I met many of my young founders. In the 5-month y Combinator, we redesigned the product and started providing services in the United States. We got a lot of users and got 1.2 million dollars in seed-round financing. To be honest, I thought the financing was outrageous.

SIS's business is back!

Then, suddenly, something went wrong.

Another roller coaster experience

I have to fly back to Australia to get a work visa before I sign a funding instrument. On the day I left the United States, my two co-founders suddenly told me they were leaving the company, and they didn't say anything.

The 1.2 million dollars were not yet in our account, but even if I had got the money, I would still feel uncomfortable. I suddenly became a liar and a fool in front of investors--which founder, after investing, suddenly told investors: "I don't have a team now". In addition, I still doubt myself, how I have not found that they have to leave the signs? Am I blind?

I came to Matt's office and told him about my experience. He poured me a glass of vodka and told me that I could do better without the two founders. That's how Matt was, and all the things he said to me, I couldn't understand immediately, and it took a while to understand.

The next day, my investor's sponsor decided to cancel the investment, and I dialed his number and told me that I had to contact every investor and convince them that he would continue to fund me if I could get at least 1 million dollars in investment. Then I learned that the two so-called "co-founder", had planned to leave me, leaving me alone to face the investors.

Suddenly I became an entrepreneur from Australia with a grand goal, but no technical background, no team, no product (I need those two co-founders to keep the product running), and I don't have a work visa for the United States. All I have is a little money from Y Combinator.

My sister took me out for a walk after the incident. She said to me, I will be able to cheer up again, as before, to overcome this difficulty. To tell you the truth, I didn't believe in myself at that time.

But this time I have not failed, I once again choose to start again.

Start over.

Eventually, 5 investors decided to continue investing in me. They felt that I had chosen to continue trusting myself when I faced difficulties alone, so they chose to believe me. But in fact they did not see my pain and struggle at that time. For every entrepreneur, entrepreneurs always force themselves to smile and always keep a positive attitude.

Once an investor emailed me and said, "disgusting things always happen." Take the financing to get everything sorted out. ”

To be honest, this thing is very touching to me, but at least I will not collapse.

Eventually I got 595,000 dollars in funding and started looking for a new co-founder. The problem is, I'm starting to trust no one anymore. After the founder of the co-founder betrayed me, I was really a little "tired of Love".

But then I met Marcin, who quit his job at an IT company and joined my team. Our office is known as the "cave" because it is a very cheap house with no natural light and very old office furniture. I remember the first day he came here, and as we were talking, my chair suddenly broke. The next day he came to work from home to bring his own chair, I was feeling envy envy hate.

Once again, we redesigned the product and then served in the United States. But this time we face a bigger challenge because I work in Australia. And this time the market has changed, competitors are flocking, our products can not create enough value for users.

The U.S. market is big, but the competition is super intense. Our work has been difficult, and the products I have assured the investors have not achieved the desired results.

This time I still did not fail, but chose to change.

Important transformation

I flew to the United States and had conversations with as many target users as possible. We have contacted more customers. Finally found out why our products can not adapt to the U.S. market.

I called the team in Australia and told them that we needed to discard all the work we had before and then use a completely different perspective to solve the problems that the company was facing, and I put forward a new product concept. But our team doesn't seem to buy it, and I have a feeling that my team is about to "mutiny". I boarded the early flight back to Australia the next day. I don't blame my team, after all, I want them to give up all the results of the past few months, as a team leader, this is not my proudest moment.

Eventually, the whole team accepted my offer. We gave up our site and began to focus on the mobile side, and within a week we developed the prototype of the mobile Web page and spent some time testing it and finally showing it to the user.

We started everyone we knew to help us test beta applications. We also contacted the owners of thousands of bloggers, some of whom agreed to help us with the publicity. Finally someone started shopping with our apps. The new strategy has its effect! I am once again hopeful about the future.

Visa issues

As we look ahead, another problem arises: we do not have a U.S. visa. Everyone knows that if you have a degree in a major, it's not a difficult thing to get into the United States, but that's exactly what I don't have. And Marcin's situation was more special, and his wife was pregnant.

After a full 7-month long wait, I finally applied for the O1 visa to the United States. I immediately came to the American consulate in Sydney to collect my visa. But to my surprise, a woman interviewed me, and she told me that she would have to give me an extra approval procedure. She told me that they would randomly process additional approvals for applicants, which would take up to 2 weeks.

But then I learned that the procedure was not random, but that it was established for an applicant suspected of being a terrorist, and that the procedure could take years at most.

As an entrepreneur, I hate this feeling of helplessness. I'm used to coping with change and ultimately creating results. I like everything within control. On the visa issue, however, I feel very helpless, I am just a founder of a start-up, unable to control the decisions of foreign governments.

We are about to apply in the United States, but the consulate has taken my passport and I cannot leave Australia. I frequently commute between the consulate and the house for my visa. A few months later, I still did not get the visa. I started calling the consulate every day and urging my visa. I don't like it, but it's the only way to get them to speed up.

I finally got my visa. When I got my visa, I immediately booked a flight to the United States and came to the United States with 4 boxes. Of the 4 boxes, 2 boxes of clothes, 1 boxes of shoes, and another box with all kinds of electronic equipment, these things basically summed up my whole life.

I want to finish my dream of living in New York. When I arrived in New York, I lived in a small room like a shoe box because I could only afford the rent here.

Soon after, my 25-year-old sister and my 19-year-old brother all bought a big house in Sydney, and I was happy for them, as well as jealous, because I was living in a small room with no windows. If my entrepreneurial plan doesn't work, it means I don't have any money. But I'm not scared, I want to start a business.

Rallied!

I rented an office in New York and hired a couple of employees, and then we were ready to put the app online.

Our performance was much better than I expected after the product was online. Within 3 months, we have completed an average of more than 1000 transactions a week, and each transaction brings us revenue. We are beginning to grow.

People in the App Store give us a very positive comment. Within a few months, we got some deep users, each of them buying hundreds of products on our platform and costing more than 1000 dollars. Our inventory turnover rose from 17% to 50%--, 2-3 times our competitors. The application brings us the revenue every day, enough for me to buy a new high-grade clothing.

Given this rate of growth, I've even begun to think that we can get positive cash flow before our funding is spent.

The biggest problem is that there is no money ...

However, subsequent growth rates have slowed. The average value of the goods we sell has dropped. And then we discovered that our business model had some loopholes.

In order to save ourselves, we began another transformation, but also our last transformation. From the results of our study, this transformation is very logical, but it turns out that this transition is actually fatal.

At the same time, I contacted our existing investors in the hope that they would provide us with a round of investment in the bridge. I believe we still have the potential and all we need is extra money.

Of our previous investors, there was only one institutional investor. They expressed their willingness to be the recipient of our bridge financing. When I heard the news, I felt relieved to see the bright future again.

I sent them due diligence papers and began to answer all the questions they asked.

A few days later, I got a call from them, and it sounded like they were not only willing to be called our lead agency, but also the only investors we could finance this round. A feeling of pressure release runs through my whole body, the mood that has been suppressed for a long time finally relieved.

After that, I heard a word: "but" ...

In the next call, the other side has been explaining why they decided to give up the investment. My stomach has been in the surge. I know they are the most likely investors to fund us, and some of the angel investors we approached earlier said they were interested in participating in our current round of financing, but only if we had to find a venture capital agency to do our job. Our account will soon be out of money and we don't have enough time to find another venture.

Because some of the partners in this institution think that our industry is too competitive, they decided not to participate in our financing.

I distinctly felt my voice tremble, and I tried to be as calm and professional as possible, but in the end I could not even speak, for I would cry immediately. Maybe I'm too emotional and I feel humiliated.

One last shot.

Late at night, I cried to the door of Marcin's house and told him that the company was about to close down, hoping that he would consider the future and start looking for a new job. I feel very guilty that he has to support his family and that he is likely to lose his job because of bad business.

But Marcin's reaction surprised me, and he refused to give up easily. Other people in our team also refuse to give up easily. So we made a plan, decided to cut the budget, and I was responsible for getting more money.

The next day, I had to carefully analyze the work of all the staff in the office and quit some of the staff. Our employees were already working at full capacity, but now they have to work for two people, and we've reassigned jobs, focusing on the toughest jobs, the jobs that will win us more time.

I haven't told too many people about the company's difficulties because entrepreneurs shouldn't complain. If someone asks you what's going on in your company, you have to be conditioned to tell him we're fine.

This time I realized one thing: I tmd very tired, the body is tired, the spirit is more tired. I have a poor quality of sleep. Since I graduated from high school in 2009, I have never enjoyed my holiday. Even if I go on vacation occasionally, I also lie in the swimming pool and think about my future work. Every day I think, only this start-up, the enterprise is also eating away at my soul.

I have no life at all, and when someone asks me what hobbies I have in my spare time, I only giggle. There are even more serious problems lately, when I'm doing something else, like taking a bath or legislating, when I suddenly feel panic. My former friends began to alienate me, and I had no time to do things that girls of my age should do, such as having a serious relationship (I tried it, but eventually I was able to beat my boyfriend). I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on.

My mother told me to believe in intuition. If my gut tells me that starting a business isn't really for me, then it's no shame to quit and do something else. In the past few years, I have become more and more understanding of this sentence.

I said to my mother, I can't believe my intuition on entrepreneurship. My gut tells me to quit, but the problem is that every time I'm in the darkest of moments, my intuition makes me quit, and I end up with a struggle to find a way out. If I just trust my instincts, I quit a few years ago.

I am convinced that the only way to get me out is to kill me. I don't like to give up. I owe it to myself, to the team, to the investors and to our customers.

I continued to look for VCs, but luck was not on my side. I went to all kinds of cocktail parties and even tested the attractiveness of high heels and flat shoes for VCs. I found that when I was wearing 7-inch high heels, VCs were more likely to talk to me than to wear flat shoes. Obviously, height improves the sense of being.

These investors are saying the same thing to me: "Your company is interesting, but we want to put our first investment in a round of corporate financing, we don't do bridging financing." Hopefully we'll stay in touch, and when you need a round of financing, maybe we can help. Oh, why don't you get the bridge financing from your existing investors?

I remember Marcin once joked that I was a control freak and I didn't understand why he said that because I had never seen myself that way. But over the next few weeks, I gradually understood what he meant. I began to have a morbid control over myself.

As the work became more and more desperate, I suddenly looked like a changed person. I began to pay attention to healthy diet, strict control of wheat, sugar intake. In order to relax my spirit, I began to read health books. I told myself it would give me more energy to find VCs. And I know deep down that all I need is something I can control, because the most important thing in my life, my business, is out of my control.

Collapse

There is not much left in the bank to keep the company running for a few weeks. Marcin and I decided to use the rest of the time to gracefully shut down the service, allowing both ourselves and the user community to make the transition. This day I came to the office, ready to have the heaviest conversation of our entire entrepreneurial career. We looked at each other and knew that it was all over. We all shed tears, after the conversation through the office area, I am glad that my hair is long enough to block the face, not to let everyone see my tears. This day seems exceptionally long, to the evening I have been physically and mentally tired, and stomach pain to be difficult to suppress, no matter what to eat, will immediately spit out. For the next one weeks, I had no appetite.

My first reaction was to apologize-apologize to the Marcin, apologize to the team, apologize to the investors, apologize to my loyal users. I felt ashamed, guilty, and blamed--I felt like a shepherd who slipped off a cliff, protecting the safety of the sheep was my job, and I screwed everything up. Reason tells me I shouldn't have these ideas, but emotions always get out of the bounds of reason.

In fact, I don't know what kind of mood I should have at this time. I've been running this business since I graduated from high school. This startup is all I have in my life. What am I to do without this company? I don't know. Maybe it's just an ordinary girl.

My friends dragged me out of the house, drinking alcohol, but I was in no mood. I am afraid of meeting strangers, afraid they ask me what to do because I don't know how to answer. And I am also afraid of embarrassment, because I have no money to buy wine. And by the end of the month, I don't know how to pay the rent. In fact, as a single woman, it doesn't cost much to go to a pub in New York at night, because there are men who will pay for my wine, but I am not. I need to be independent, and if I don't have money to drink myself, I wouldn't go to a bar at all.

I am not hopeless, just disappointed. I tried so hard, but I still didn't succeed. If I had not chosen to start a business, I might have gone the other way, but Marcin and I had agreed that we should not make assumptions about what was past. He once said to me: "No regrets." "We've learned a lot in the mistakes we've made, and we've realized how important luck is in the pursuit of success."

If you have been working hard, but not for success, in the event of failure, you can also be relatively calm. This is life. Of course, our company has a lot of problems and all the companies have problems.

Life goes on.

This is the end of my entrepreneurial story. My friends ask me if I'm okay, and now I really think I'm OK. It was an exciting journey, but it was over and life went on.

Another serious problem with the failure of my venture is that I have lost the United States visa that I have worked for. After I lost my CEO's title, I had 10 days to sell all my assets, pack my bags, say goodbye to my team and friends, say good-bye to my life for the past few years, and leave.

Although the parting is sad, but I will start a new chapter in life, I am excited about it. Although I love this company I started, but now at least I do not have to be responsible for anyone, just to myself. I no longer need to be responsible for the team, no longer need to be responsible for the investors, no longer need to be responsible for the customer. I can now know what the average 22-Year-old girl's life is like, I can go on a trip, can make the wrong decision, try something new.

I can stay with my parents for a while, live in a small town with only 2000 people, there is no big shopping mall, even the internet speed is very slow, but I can relax for a while. To be honest, I'll probably get tired of living like this in a week, and then work another business plan, and I have some ideas now.

In my first venture, my idea was "to be big or to go home". It was a wonderful journey, but in the end I went home.

Ending

This is my story, this is the taste of entrepreneurial failure. I hope you will be able to enlighten you when you read this story. When I was writing this story, I was in a very complicated mood.

Most startups fail, and the world doesn't talk too much about losers. I hope that all those who have experienced failure can write down their stories and their moods. Because I have gained a lot during the last period of my venture, and I hope you will share it with all of us as I do.

In fact, I think it's a good idea to bring together all those who have failed to start a business and write their stories into a book. At the very least, be prepared for others who are about to start a business.

Thank

I want to end this article in such a way that I want to thank all the people who have taken part in my business journey.

Thank my co-founder marcin--no one else has been with me. The sacrifices you make make dreams come true. When Zoe grows up, she will tell you that she is proud to have a father like you. I will miss your cold jokes.

Thanks to the past and present team-thank you very much for your work, perseverance and loyalty. Chandra and Oguz, you are very good. You always make work interesting and I have the motivation to come to work every day. I will miss you very much. If I start again, I'll still be chasing you: P

Thanks to the family Natalie and semiha--your husband is working in a start-up, which is certainly not an easy task for you. For their long overtime, emotional ups and downs, you are always very supportive, thank you.

Thanks to my family-you've always been my biggest supporter. Especially thanks to my mother for tolerating my bad temper, especially in the most stressful time, I behaved like a bad daughter. You are the strongest woman I have ever seen, and I hope that one day I will be as strong as you.

Thanks to my friend-I can't do it without your support. When I am proud, you celebrate for me, when I am frustrated, you give me comfort. I will always be grateful for that.

Thank matt--You are the reason why I insist. Without you, I might have given up in 2011.

Thank you to the investors-thank you for believing in my vision and trusting me to accomplish my goals in the most difficult times. I really appreciate it.

Thanks to the user-we are nothing without you. Thank you for falling in love with our products and publicizing for us. Many of you have now become my friends, and I am grateful for your support and loyalty.

Well, I'm done with my story. It's time to have a good rest.

(via medium/fast carp)