How should children be taught to steal money from parents?

Many parents feel angry and worried when they find their children "stealing". Ancestors left the old adage there is a cloud: "From the thief Needle, grow up steal gold", so the parents of light scold, heavy is a fat beat, afraid of children to embark on the future Klacka. How to treat children "stealing" behavior? Before revealing the answer, Meng Ma want to share a Meng Dad's story.

The story goes back to the late 90 's, Meng Dad just went to primary school. At that time there are always many stalls in front of primary school, selling plum, stirring taffy, soda, popsicles and other snacks, painted with bright colors, very tempting. Meng Dad every day after school, will buy some small snacks. Soon, there is not enough pocket money.

Happened this day after school, Meng Dad saw Meng Dad's father (under called Meng Ye) coat hanging on the hanger, Meng Dad thought, Meng ye usually from his overcoat pocket money, so brainwave, also ran to Meng Ye's coat pocket a model, also just touch out a hundred dollar bills, hurriedly take away put into their little bag. The next day after school, Meng Dad greeted a few small partners, very generous to say: "Today after school my treat!" Then led the small partners, to everyone bought a stir taffy, and extra to buy their own plum and popsicles, and then handed to the stall a hundred dollar bills.

The day Meng ye wearing a coat to work, a money, found that less than 100 pieces, the adults in the home also said never took, so Meng Ye to Meng Dad Primary School door waiting. I saw a school, Meng Dad led a few small partners ran to stand on the election of things, but also handed to stall a eye-catching hundred bills. Meng ye this under the heart has the spectrum. Wait until the small partners left, Meng Ye Chong Meng Dad walked over, smiled and said: "Go, Dad today to pick you home." ”

Meng Dad was a leng, thought Meng ye today how to pick himself, is not take money things exposed? Behold Meng ye carrying Meng Dad went to the department store, asked: "What do you want to eat?" ”

"Ham sausage." Meng Dad said.

Meng Ye bought some other snacks, and then asked: "Dad today's pocket 100 less money, is not you took?" ”

Is。 Meng Dad whispered.

"After the pocket money is not enough to say with Dad, don't get the cash from Daddy's pocket again." ”

Good。 ”

After that day, Meng Ye to Meng Dad up the pocket money, and Meng Dad never secretly took it.

This story is about the education of Xiao Meng, Meng Dad told Meng mom to listen to, narrative angle from the child's psychological development: Because the pocket money is not enough, so I took the money-this is the child simple logic.

In Mooc's course on early childhood education, it was mentioned that 12-18 months of children are usually self-centered (egocentric), who feel that the world revolves around themselves and that it is difficult to control their impulses. So once they want something, they want it to happen right away. By the time they reach the age of 2-3, they have tried to control their emotions, but they still need adult support and help.

Now we can talk about how to deal with children's "stealing" behavior.

Why would a child "steal something"?

Because children have "needs" and want to achieve such a demand. Meng Dad is because want to buy snacks and pocket money is not enough, want to have more money, so only secretly take money. And sometimes children habitually steal money, if not always have a demand for something, this behavior itself can arouse the attention of parents. Just like some children want to play with their parents, found that their parents ignore themselves, the result of a dirty language, parents to find a hurried to come over, so in order to arouse the attention of parents, children will again and again to speak dirty words.

Why not speak directly to adults about their needs and "steal"?

Before mentioning this question, the parents first must ask oneself, usually has not had many exchanges with the child. In the process of communication, is it an equal and easy way to chat, or always from their own point of view to try to "correct" the child's ideas and behavior? Meng Dad said that every time the home to fixed pocket money, never asked him whether the money is enough, and he did not want to actively express demand.

Some parents deal with children's problems, the habit from their own point of view, but not with the children to discuss. For example, children want to buy white clothes, and parents think black resistance, so bought black. Although the child is subject to obedience, the need to buy white clothes is still not met. For a long time, when parents ask their child what they want, the child will obey his parents ' wishes, because he knows he will not achieve it even if he expresses his needs. On the face of it, parents are "talking" to their children, but in reality, parents are still making decisions and not respecting their children's wishes.

Does the child know it's wrong to steal?

There are not know, but also know but do not understand. Chen Wu in his own micro-Borrie once explained the child's "stealing" behavior:

In fact, "stealing money" is a false issue. There is no concept of "stealing" until the child establishes the concept of property right, and it is not stealing to take home money.

Some children do not have the concept of real right, feel like, need to take it. Some children vaguely know that secretly take money is not good, but do not know how bad.

How should parents treat their children "stealing" behavior?

First look at Meng Ye's approach: first survey to understand Meng Dad take money is want to do what (Buy snacks); then maintain the child's self-esteem (and other small partners to take away after the father), to meet the needs of children (buy more snacks) to express the love of children, while respecting the child's wishes (bought Meng Dad want to eat ham) The next thing is right and wrong, also not to the child's behavior casually stickers, but to dilute their response, directly to tell the child how to do in the future ("pocket money is not enough to say with Dad, don't get paid from Dad's Pocket"), and finally solve the child "stealing" the root cause (increased pocket money). It's a standard textbook!

Back to the title of this issue, if parents teach well, "from the Thief Needle" children, will not "grow up to steal gold"! So here's the question:

How to educate children?

In the West, the word education derives from the Latin educate, the prefix "E" has the meaning of "out", meaning "lead", refers to through a certain means to the hidden inside of human things. What does education mean in China? Meng mom attended the Chinese People's University, was the Chinese department of Professor Leng Chengjin (known as the NPC "one of the four Big Mouth") when teaching a passage deeply touched:

Confucius said: "Unto, impose." So what you want, you can do to people? Obviously not. Only own desire, people desire, can be applied to people, and must be breeze, imperceptible, the form of precept and deeds!

This is the true education: understanding children, respecting children, and accepting children. Meng Ye has not studied pedagogy, but why can it be handled so well? is because Meng ye loves the child, has the compassion to the child, only then from the child can accept the angle to guide.

This is back to the original Meng mom mentioned the "Education and pay equal attention" topic: Give the child money, is "raise" the problem, let children learn to finance, is a "teach" problem. The child "steals money" buys the thing, is "raises" the question, but solves this problem, must take "teaches" the way to deal with.