59 funny but incomparable programming quotations about programmers

 

I have collected many programming quotations, which are basically related to the programmer's life. These quotations cover software development, code maintenance, debugging and error correction, software bugs, system design, documentation, code quality, testing, and software development team management. Although the 59 quotations below are funny, they are extremely real. Only programmers can understand the true meaning of these programming statements. Let's get started...

 

Programmer programming quotations

1. A good programmer is the kind of person who needs to look at both sides of the road. (Doug Linder)

2. Do not worry when the program is faulty. If everything is okay, you will lose your job. (Mosher law of Software Engineering)

3. the programmer's trouble is that you cannot figure out what he is playing with. It may be too late when you finally figure it out. (Seymour Cray, father of supercomputer)

4. I think most people know the virtues of a programmer. Of course, there are three types: laziness, irritability, and arrogance. (Larry Wall, inventor of Perl)

5. Maintain this mentality during programming: It's like the person who wants to maintain your code in the future is a brutal mental patient and knows where you live. (Martin Golding)

6. Poor software written by one person will bring a full-time job to another person. (Jessica Gaston)

7. If a builder builds a house as a programmer writes software, the first woodpecker will be able to destroy human civilization. (Gerald weberger)

8. The most likely way to destroy the world-agreed by most experts-was an accident. This is why we are computer experts and we have created an accident. (Nathaniel Borenstein)

9. There is a strange phenomenon in our industry: not only do we not learn from failure, but also learn from success. (Keith Braithwaite)

10. Once a new technology becomes popular, you can either get on a road roller or become a paving stone. (Stewart Brand)

11. If it fails once, call it Version 1.0. (Unknown)

12. All programmers are screenwriters and all computers are bad actors. (Anonymous Hack Actor)

13. The sooner your work lags behind, the more time you have to catch up. (Anonymous Scheduler)

14. When such a programming language appears: it allows programmers to program in simple English, and you will find that programmers cannot start to speak English. (Anonymous Linguist)

15. Why don't we have time to get things done right, but there is always time to overhead things? (Anonymous)

16. dummies can write programs that computers can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

17. Any code you write will not be viewed for more than 6 months. When you read it again, it will be written by others. (Eagleson's law)

Programming/software development quotations

1. The software development progress is evaluated by the number of lines of code, just as the aircraft construction progress is evaluated by weight. (Bill Gates)

2. Software is like sex. If you make a mistake, you need to maintain your support for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)

3. It is easy to walk on the water and develop software based on the requirement document-provided that they are all frozen. (Edward V Berard)

4. The first 90% of the code used the first 90% of the development time... The remaining 10% of the Code took another 90% of the development time. (Tom Cargill)

5. The comment code is like cleaning your restroom-you don't want to do it, but if you do, it will definitely bring you and your guests a pleasant experience. (Ryan Campbell)

6. Today's programming is a competition between programmers and God. Programmers need to develop bigger and better programs and use software for Dummies. And God is trying to create a bigger, more silly dummies. So far, God has won. (Rick Cook)

7. The most difficult part of software design... Is to block the introduction of new features. (Donald Norman)

8. To understand recursion, we must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)

9. There are only two types of programming languages in the world: those who are criticized and those who are useless. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

10. The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit. (Anonymous)

11. If Java can implement real garbage collection, most programs will delete themselves during execution. (Robert Smith)

12. Theoretically, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there are some. (Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut)

13. Preparation, fire, aim: This is the fastest software development method. Preparation, aiming, aiming: This is the slowest software development method. (Anonymous)

14. Programming is 10% of science, 20% days, and 70% makes this day scientific. (Anonymous)

15. Evaluating one thing is easier than understanding what you evaluate. (Anonymous)

16. The evaluation will not lie, but the evaluation will. (Anonymous)

17. Train employees even if they are at risk of job-hopping. It is more risky to leave them in the company without doing anything. (Anonymous)

18. The goal of computer science is to make something and ensure that it can at least be developed. (Anonymous)

19. Java is for JavaScript, just like Car is for Carpet. (Chris Heilmann)

20. It is completely unnecessary to do the right thing at first. But in the end, it is absolutely necessary to do the right thing. (Andrew Hunt and David Thomas)

21. Should the starting index of the array start from 0 or start from 1? My 0.5 compromise was rejected by them without careful consideration-I think so. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)

22. The program must be written for display. running the program on the machine is only a task attached. (Abelson/Sussman)

23. programming can be very interesting. You can use it for cryptography research, but the two cannot be combined into one. (Kreitzberg and Shneiderman)

24. Copy-paste is a design error. (David Parnas)

25. Computers are good at following commands, but not understanding your thinking. (Donald Knuth)

Quotations from software error correction

1. The deleted Code has no bugs. (Jeff Sickel)

2. If the error correction is to eliminate software bugs, programming must put them in. (Edsger Dijkstra)

3. Code correction is twice as difficult as writing new code. Because, if you write the smartest code, you do not have more intelligence to debug it.

4. It is very difficult to find an error in your code. When you think that your code is correct, it is even harder. (Steve McConnel)

Software bug quotations

1. This is not a bug-this unspecified feature. (Anonymous)

2. There is no need or design. programming is an art of adding bugs to an empty text file. (Louis Srygley)

3. The code is not bad, but is misunderstood. (Anonymous Code Behaviorist)

4. There are two ways to write programs without errors, but only the third method is easy to use. (Alan J. Perlis)

5. Be careful with the bugs in the above Code. I only know that these codes are correct, but I have not tried them. (Donald Knuth)

Quotations from software products/finished products

1. Before the software can be reused, it must be available. (Ralph Johnson)

2. Software is usually released shortly after beta testing is completed. Beta is "not available yet" in the Latin language. (Anonymous)

3. The best performance improvement is to make the software unavailable. (J. Osterhout)

4. The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that have not yet appeared. (Gordon Bell)

5. I think Microsoft named. Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing. (Oktal)

6. The software is very similar to the church-We pray after the building. (Sam Redwine)

7. The software will not be finished unless the last user dies. (Anonymous)

8. Most of today's software is very much like the egyptian pyramid, which is composed of thousands of stones. It has no structural integration and is forced by violence and thousands of slaves. (Alan Kay)