2 strokes to fix stress, stay away from anxiety insomnia mania

This article takes the technology manager as an example to stress management, actually mentions ABC, suspends, catharsis and so on the way applies to most people.

Psychologist Richard S. Lazarus (Lazarus) suggests that stress is the state of anxiety (tension) that arises when events and responsibilities go beyond the scope of individual coping abilities.

When a developer is just on the management post, it is very easy to create pressure-he only need to manage themselves, to solve the development tasks, now he not only to deal with their own, but also to manage subordinates, but also with products, requirements, testing, operations, sales and other departments dealing with, but also directly face more advanced management, more deadly is, He has to take responsibility for the results of the whole team. Responsibility is stress.

The new technical leaders also worry about their incompetence, their perceptions of their subordinates, their guesses about their own opinions, and the perception of their peers in the peer sector, which can lead to constant stress.

Stress can prompt a person to do something to vent. But the behavior you make under pressure is often inappropriate. When you're a manager, a little bit of inappropriate behavior will be magnified-because you've become a gorilla in the team and everyone is staring at you.

For example, if you have one time in front of everyone to yell at a programmer, you will think you always love in front of the big guys to scold people, the slightest way to disregard the feelings of others, for example, if you are only one time late (the pressure of the conference caused by late), people will think you are always late ...

As a manager, you must always look at the appropriateness of your behavior under pressure, because you are a gorilla on the team, and your behavior can trigger similar behavior.

You shout, Shirk, escape, and despair when you feel stress, and your team will slowly become like this.

Therefore, managers should try to avoid using negative behavior to cope with pressure, to actively face the pressure, the courage to bear responsibility, all to solve the problem as the goal.

This is a very difficult challenge.

But there are ways you can manage stress in two ways: look at the problem from a different perspective .

The Master of Psychology, Albert Ellis, introduced the famous ABC principle in 1955, which can be used to manage stress. Because sometimes your stress is generated by your specific interpretation of the event (B), as long as you change the explanation, the pressure disappears and even becomes the motivation. That's what we're talking about, looking at the problem from a different angle.

For example, Kim's boss angrily asked him to explain why the release was postponed, and asked him to give a new release time, absolutely can not postpone the release time. Then he may panic, guilt, the anger of subordinates, and so on from the boss of the office out, immediately the development called to the conference room, furious, questioned why we did not deliver the code on time.

Is this a proper act of kin?

Have you ever met a development manager like Kim who has been mentor in the lead and turned around and scolded subordinates?
So how can Kim release his pressure?

In this case, A is: Kim's boss scolded Kim for not releasing the version on Time and asked Kim to give the exact release time. C is: Ah kam feel panic, guilt, the anger of subordinates, then the team meeting, scold everyone not on time delivery.

The reason why Kim has this kind of misconduct is because he first explained to a: this development irresponsible, leading to the leadership think I irresponsible, ability, lose confidence in me, if I do not soon, my future work will be more difficult to do.

If Kim changes the explanation: The leader is angry at the result of the incident, because did not publish on time, let the leader break the customer, damage the company's reputation.

With this explanation, the next act of Kin (C) is likely to change: Understanding the anger of the leadership, apologizing to the leader, then convening a meeting of the developers, and studying the project data together, please analyze the reasons for the delay, discuss the improvement strategy, re-establish the plan, give a new release date, and get everyone's commitment, Then give the leader a promise.

Such C is the proper, positive behavior.

However, as the new manager, when you feel pressure from superiors, clients, project stakeholders, and so on, the subconscious response is often negative, either shirking the responsibility or trying to protect yourself. For example, this is a programmer's problem, this test is not measured, this is unclear demand, this is the engine room blackout caused by ... Then began to look for such analysis responsibility ... Then you may fall into the wrangling and make the parties unhappy ...

How to avoid these subconscious adverse reactions.

learn to pause .

When the leader criticizes you, when the colleague accuses you, when the subordinate blames you, when the product says that your software does not fulfill according to the demand, when the customer asks you ... You have to pause for 10 seconds to react and avoid being beaten or escaped by instinct control.

"The world is so wonderful, I'm so grumpy, it's not good"--to control my own fiery reaction, this is a ritual, "Guofu" in the drama "Martial Arts". Rituals can help us control our emotions.

You can also create your own rituals, such as three "solve problem solving problems", such as deep-breathing three times, such as closing your eyes for 10 seconds.

At the beginning of the exercise, you can pause for a while and ask yourself the following questions: What is the real problem? I do this to help solve the problem. What is my goal. If I do this, can I achieve my goal? Is this going to get me into trouble now or in the future? Will this apparent on Canberra my relationship with others? Is this going to hurt anyone?

When you are able to pause, these questions will flash through your mind and guide you to the appropriate response. Vent

Some of the pressure to explain a different angle will disappear, some of the pressure will actually accumulate on you, such as 996 of such long-time overloaded work, such as leadership style and you are very different, the average daily stimulation you three times. This kind of slow, continuous pressure, must be reasonable catharsis, or accumulation for a long time, easy to lead to the outbreak of broken words behavior.

Catharsis should be based on the principle of not harming others.

The common venting methods are:
- confide . You can talk to your family, friends and colleagues, you can talk to a professional (such as a counselor), a stranger, or you can talk in writing-write a stress diary.
- Sound . such as laughter, such as shouts, such as yelling.
- cry . Crying is the best vent oh. Think of children, what is not happy, cry on the past. Men will feel that crying is more difficult to accept, because the "man has tears do not flick" poison too long. But, what does it matter. Health is more important.
- Sports . Walk, run, climb, and find the right sport for you.
- sleep . Well, just have a nap. a summary of a sentence

When you are under a lot of stress, anxiety, insomnia, depression, manic and other emotions pouring in, please first try to explain in a different angle to give you the pressure of the event, perhaps suddenly will be enlightened. If you look at the problem in a different way, the pressure still can't be resolved, then you can consider releasing the pressure in some manner.