20-year-olds, 30-year-olds, and 40-year-olds

Time: 2009-10-19 09:40:47
Source: International E-Commerce Author: Yan XiaoYu

As the saying goes: the age of 10 is more than intelligence, the age of 20 is more than physical strength, the age of 30 is more than professional, and the age of 40 is more than people ...... I don't know what to fight for when I get older, but after I get 60, I'm sure I have to fight for strength again. Living is more important than anything else. Haha.

When talking about the relationship between people, everyone now believes that it is becoming more and more important. At least most of my friends around me have taken the expansion of people as an important thing (including myself ), I was a bit experienced and accumulated when I was in my 30 s, and still had dreams and passion.

I re-read Gao Yang's novel Hu Xueyan last year. Although I haven't finished reading it yet, this book covers only four words: "Connections ", this is the best textbook on the investment and operation of connections. It is worth reading, especially in the Asian society with the greatest relationship.

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When it comes to networking, I think of two stories: Bill
Gates: his old man, whose first contract at the age of 20 came from IBM, is said to have won this milestone because his mother was originally an IBM Director and she recommended bill to the IBM Chairman.
The meaning of the contract, this story can be said to be well-known, and often raised to prove the importance of the relationship between people, but I think this is not about people, but about skirts, after all, old mothers are not really meaningful contacts.

Second, I was impressed by the sentence that Mr. Yu Minhong of New Oriental School said. He said that if you want to know how much your money is today, you will find the three best friends around you, the average value of their income is the income you deserve. I admire Yu's words.

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According to some of the views of sociology, China we live in is transforming from an acquaintance society to a stranger society. What you meet every day has a major impact on your life, they are all strangers (so the old mother's relationship only proves
The importance of acquaintance society ). Because of the existence of strangers, the importance of network connections has been improved. As a result, the importance of network connections has also led to the emergence of some new industries, such as various SNS (social)
Networking Service) websites, such as "neighbors" and "contacts", propose new theories such as "Six Degrees space" or "social bank.

I joined RuO NEO with great interest last year (refer to "building our Network Interpersonal space together") and filled out my own materials. Over a year, I gradually connected 300 people, although most of them are just a name, it is rare to have a chance to further communicate and strengthen the relationship, but it is still worthwhile to have met 10 of them.

Me
I remember that if many people had heated discussions in the discussion board on the neighborhood: What is the significance of this network interpersonal connection? Should SNS consciously strengthen human and social networking by establishing salons, organizing activities, or classifying discussions?
In-depth understanding and interaction of people ?...... However, some people finally came up to comfort me: SNS relies on the "Six-Degree relationship" theory (that is, by mathematical computation, any two people in the world have a connection, up to 6
A man-in-the-middle, from you to President Bush, from a Vietnamese farmer to a certain State), although Internet technology can make it easier for any two people on the earth to contact each other, however, it can always provide only one "weak connection"
", Can never replace real life, can not replace face-to-face communication and bring about trust, so do not expect too high.
This is a rational comment (so I'm curious about how SNS make profits, except for dating
Outside the market ). Obviously, it is not easy to establish a strong network connection with the help of the Internet or in real life. It also requires careful operation and mutual benefit. Therefore, the concept of "social bank" is meaningful.
You should always check your personal network assets and calculate your investment and income. Short-term exploitation and meaningless small-circle social networking are also a waste.

In my opinion, there are two types of Friends: useful and interesting. Either of them has both.
If you are still in a stage eager for friendship or are bored with business, I suggest you stop reading the post.
This is a real business world, and useful friends can generate the motivation for long-term interactions. Just like you want to buy things in shops with good reputation, it would be even better if you want to share your interests with each other, but cannot be forced.

Whether a person is good at interacting with a person he or she does not like, and is good at tossing in an environment that he or she does not like. This is a sign of a person's social maturity.

In my opinion, building strong connections is nothing more than three points:

First, build your value.

Here, the "value" is more appropriate to say "value to be used". before checking the relationship between people, calmly ask yourself: Are you useful to others? If you cannot be used by others, it means that you are not valuable (for example, career planning is nothing more than promoting your "value of being hired"). The more useful you are, the easier it is for you to establish strong connections.

Think
Want to see the famous saying from Teacher Yu? Few people can establish real connections with people who are far away from each other. So even if I had the honor to establish a connection with Li Ka-shing through wealink today, he would not
If you are interested (it is better to know VP or CEO of Changjiang or Huang industry ). Just like building a brand, it is better for a person to know his or her friends in a hurry to determine his or her value.
And then target customers.

At each stage, people have different values depending on their own abilities and goals. When you are a college student, your value may be
You have a great score, or a very good football player, or you may be very handsome. People think that you can have a face with you, but you can still be very physical, very enthusiastic and willing to run errands; worst (but not bad)
), Very rich, always willing to pay ...... After you work, you may be a computer expert or a brand expert. You are always willing to make suggestions. Maybe you know a lot of media and are good at solving problems with your pen, or
You have experience in manufacturing. Of course, if you have a lot of money, congratulations, you are at the top of the food chain, and capital is the most valuable.

2. Pass your value to others.

A good old man is interesting but useless, but it is difficult to build a real network of people who are unwilling to be used. In interpersonal communication, you must be good at delivering your "value available" to others, so as to facilitate communication opportunities and gain a deeper understanding of and trust each other.

In
In daily social interactions, there are two kinds of mentality that are not desirable: 1. Self-closed and arrogant. This type of mentality is common in some white-collar enterprises, often proud of being the director or VP of a Fortune 500 company
If you have a small circle mentality of "I am waiting for a senior position and deserve your respect", in fact, a dazzling position may make your friends feel that you have a face, but if you lack real value for others, it's better for a boss to rub his hands and say to you:
"Dude, I want to give you some information about how to import cigar smuggling.

2. It is an angry youth mentality. For example, most wealink users write their own company
And positions, Director/General Manager, etc. One day I saw a user in his position and wrote "all managers, without knowing the value of managers". I think he is joking, but it is not appropriate-although
It is really not worth the money, but it is always worth the money than the "business representative. What's more, in this stranger society, whether it's "weak connections" on the network or daily interactions, most people determine to communicate with you in a few seconds or within one minute.
Whether it is valuable or even decide whether to communicate with you.
Unless you are a well-known Li Ka Shing or Bill Gates and do not want to be a cultural person in the retired countryside, it is better to write your job clearly, after all, this represents your current value (at least part ). You do not respect the delivery of your own values, and do not respect others.

Third, pass the value of others to others and become a hub of networking.

In real life, we often encounter such a situation: a very good and very valuable friend, But it is rare to meet each other once in 1-2 years, and often only stay in the handshake and have fun ). As the saying goes, "Everyone is very busy"-this is true, but in terms of network connections, it is a kind of "accumulating resources" without generating the expected benefits.

Also, when you meet a friend and talk about a difficult technical problem, the friend suddenly slapped his thigh and said, "I have been a good friend for over 10 years. He is an expert in this field, he can help you solve this problem! Why don't you say it earlier ......", Yes. Why didn't you say it earlier? You have never heard of such a friend before.

While
Another friend seems to have various relationships and be helpful. You mentioned a production problem on the phone, because you know that he knows several experts in this field. When you just hung up, he
He called again because he had already made an appointment with two of your friends and met this evening to provide you with solutions. Of course, he also said, by the way, you have another new investment project to consult with you.
A friend who is a VC can also attend the party.

Which of the above connections has brought the greatest value to play?

You are very valuable, and many of your friends have their own
So why don't we connect them and transfer more value to each other? If you only accept or send an end point of information, the value produced by the connections is limited. However, if you become a trusted
Interest and value exchange is a hub, so other friends are more willing to interact with you, and you can also lead to more opportunities, so as to consolidate and expand your network of contacts.

Therefore, we need to find and establish our own values, pass our own values to our friends, and facilitate the exchange of more information and values, this is the basic logic for building strong connections.