Baby's troubles-from Mom's collection

Recently, when chatting with some mothers, I encountered a frequently-used word: "troubles "! Worried about the baby's diet, worried about the baby's rest, worried about the baby's "naughty", worried about the baby's "willful ". As a result, we naturally thought: What troubles do our babies have?

In life, few parents mention the troubles of babies. Xiaobiao is a 2-year-old baby. To be exact, it is now 6 days after 27 months. I watched him for a long time. I found that he had his own troubles and confusions. Before he can grasp the language accurately, he will cry to express his distress and dissatisfaction. After learning to speak, he will start to express it in words.

Later, I read Maria * Montessori's book and agreed with the concept that the troubles of a 2-year-old baby come mostly from the sense of order. After all, the sense of order is one of the sources of children's security. It is the basis for children to make accurate identification and judgment of things and the cornerstone of children's moral consciousness.

At some time in dianbao's age, I often buy him snacks like bread and cake. One time, because his favorite cake was sold out, I changed him to a red bean bread. After bringing it back, Grandpa ordered that it was too big for his big baby, so he decided to put it in the hands of dianbao. Then the problem came out, and the lucky dianbao began to cry. At one time, my family was puzzled. Fortunately, at that time, I adopted what seems to be completely correct. Although he still can't express it in words, I picked it up and asked him with patience: "baby, is it because I have separated the bread? Mom knows, in this way, the bread is not beautiful in the baby's heart. Mom also felt very sad ." Then he cried and continued, "but today it's already the case. Mom makes sure the taste is the same. Next time, my mother will ask for your opinion ." A storm has passed. In such circumstances, how many parents will blame their children for their willfulness and unreasonable behavior, and how many parents will criticize or even scold their children, how many other parents feel that such behavior is unbearable to others? ......

Most of the time, as parents, do we pay more attention to our own feelings and experiences, and feel confident that this is a good thing for our children. Is that true? Did we listen to our children's opinions before making a decision? Some parents may ask: What do P children under 2 years old have? Why not ?!

When you take the node to the park, you will often encounter many children playing the same device at the same time. So big people always worry that their children will be pushed down or accidentally injured in this situation. That weekend, I took my grandfather to the Grand Park with me. When dianbao climbed the stairs and prepared to go to the slide, he ordered his grandfather to hurry up on the slide, so he could not help but pick up the slide. Then he walked over the slide, a short aisle, grandpa had to work hard, and the boss in his arms was reluctant and twisted. At first glance: How annoying a child is! But I have a very different opinion: for adults, it is for the purpose of slide, but for children, what he wants is to climb a long step and pass through a narrow aisle, then go to the slide and slide down the process. However, the good help of an adult clearly disrupted his process and deprived him of his pleasure. Obviously, this is not the original intention of an adult. But how many babies are there? During the Process of growth, the adults are "distorted.

Now that dianbao has grown up, he has his own mature ideas and can control his own actions. For example, when reading children's songs or counting numbers, he may occasionally fail to think about it. Some family members or friends will kindly remind him at that moment, and the results will often lead to his opposition. He will firmly say, "Come on, baby !" Then, repeat it from start to end. When you are playing at home, it is similar when you are playing slide in the park. One time he climbed a slide on the park because he was not sure whether the 90-degree stair could pass smoothly. Then he stood there and looked down at his ideas. Then two beautiful aunts came across and said, "I'll help you, baby ." Then he took dianbao and said, "Let's go ." Then he insisted on returning to the top, and tried it with his hands and feet. Then he left with satisfaction. There are many examples of this. You can take your own clothes and wipe your feet. Although it takes a long time to take a dress off, sometimes an adult may even feel miserable. But every time he makes a thing, he is very satisfied. It is not an exaggeration to say that he is satisfied with his face.

More and more people now agree that in the process of human walking, adults need the final destination, while children need the pebbles while walking, the flower, or the butterfly. Therefore, the cognition of adults and children is completely different. How can we satisfy our children from our own perspective?

We believe that 100% of parents want their children to be confident, independent, and brave. If we always constrain this and intervene in the process of raising and growing our children, we will always make them feel troubled, frustrated, and hurt. How can we achieve those good personalities ?!

The same children can always see different performances: when faced with the same beloved toys, some children do not give up, cry, make, or even roll; some children, they will be forced to give up when their parents "don't listen to you again" or with a similar deterrent. Some children will readily accept their parents and then walk away from their toys. For the first kind of child, "overlord" or "SanYe", maybe what he wants is not a real toy, but a lack of understanding and love. To some extent, he is lonely, so he is passed on to material possession; for the second child, "weak" or "timid", because of long-term acceptance of action or language-based violence, this leads to his "cowardly", which makes it easy for him to yield in behavior and resist psychologically. However, the third type of child, I think, is a truly healthy child, he does not possess material resources, and can communicate with others on an equal footing psychologically. With such a big difference in performance, I can say, "this is definitely a growth environment !"

To have an independent child, you must have a letting-Go parent; to have a confident child, you must have a patient parent; to have a kind child, you must have a loving parent. While giving our children material, don't forget to listen to their needs, understand their troubles, and grow with them!