3. Clever entertainment
In our life, how to socialize is a headache. Carnegie OLA has his own experiences on this.
Carnegie Mellon believes that our daily life style is theoretically not reasonable in any case. There are many things that become irrational due to long-term habits and inertia. But you should not try to break these unreasonable habits. Otherwise, you will encounter "psychological resistance" from each other in social networking ". The so-called "psychological resistance" refers to the fact that the other party thinks that you are not close to others. Since the other party feels a little bit, your social networking effect will be greatly reduced.
There are too many examples of these "unreasonable" daily habits and methods. The most common thing is the courtesy of daily meetings. For example, when we meet friends, there is no such thing as rude, but we must say, "It's really rude ." It is clear that someone else invites you, but when it comes, it will always say, "I'm bothering you !" When you go to a company to work, it is clearly not introduced by someone, but when he asks you, you will say:
"To your face, I entered a company ."
But if you don't say this is unreasonable, others will think that you are too unfriendly. However, if you are in Europe or somewhere else, it is not appropriate to say this courtesy in the above way.
In Japan, bus conductor said, "Thank you !" Said to the passengers on the bus: "Sorry, it has been a long time to wait ". If the Chinese bus conductor says this to the guest, I am afraid the guest may feel that the conductor is nervous. Therefore, this situation is not a reasonable and unreasonable problem because the living customs and habits in each place are different and need to be paid attention.
A person's "first impression" is very important. Others are the same to you, or you are the same to others.
In entertainment, if the first impression is not good, you must make great efforts to restore it. The first impression must be especially important.
How can we make a good first impression? Carnegie Mellon believes that clothing should be the first thing to make a good first impression.
Some people disagree: "How can clothes become a problem? ."
Do you have a light impression when you see an adult wearing a pair of jeans? Do you think there is no line in the middle of the trousers that someone is wearing? If your answers are positive, you can't help but face up to the truth. Pay attention to your clothes. This does not mean that you should wear the most popular and fashionable clothes, but please make people feel neat and clean, clothes are new, old, and quality is good or bad.
Many large companies in the United States have "specifications" for their employees. The so-called specifications do not mean to look good or specify clothes, but to "View" standards ".
In the books written by experts, the following six points should be paid attention to before the entertainment:
1. Have your shoes been wiped? 2. Are there any trousers? 3. Are all shirt buttons finished? 4. Did you shave your beard? 5. Have you combed your hair? 6. Have you noticed wrinkles in your clothes?
Not only in the United States, but also anywhere in the world. A field engineer from an insurance company in Thailand reported to the company that when they persuaded farmers to work, they were dressed neatly rather than poorly dressed, and there were many differences in their business performance, it can be seen that although farmers are not well dressed, they are always more trustworthy to those who are neatly dressed.
Therefore, do not overlaugh at the social style of "respecting Luo Yi first and then respecting others.
When we socialize, we should pay attention to the reality and give it to others. Otherwise, we will suffer some unnecessary failures.
For strangers, we should look for personal introductions. Taking the foreign life insurance brokers as an example, they have already adopted the "Introduction" method when looking for new customers. because some people have introduced it, they will never leave a closed door. Of course, the person who writes the letter of introduction for you must be in the eyes of the other party and have a good face. If it is a nasty person, of course, it is an exception.
Now, the society is gradually popular to use a business card to add a batch of words to replace the letter of introduction. This is a good way, because the letter of introduction should be opened by the other party. When some people read the content in the Letter of rejection, the original email will be returned to the recipient, which makes the recipient very embarrassed. if you write a business card, this will not happen.
"It is best to use the introducer to discuss the first meeting with a stranger," cardick said in his book "The way to socialize ." This is very pertinent.
The length of socializing time is of great value in an appropriate way. Of course, we must judge the nature, purpose, and type of the social networking. We cannot generalize it. However, we need to know that the current public phone number in the city requires a basic call time of three minutes. This rule was decided only after a profound study. It indicates a small thing and should be completed within three minutes;
It may take an hour if things are not just a combination, or debate is required. However, a constant principle is that we should try our best to shorten the time for socializing and guard ourselves from the "fatigue" produced by the other party ". Because there is a physical and psychological difference between time and time. When you talk to a friend of your friend for an hour, he watches his watch, there is no bus, and the last ship is also about to run ...... This kind of entertainment makes people feel that the physical time is only 20 minutes, but psychologically there is more than one hour. Some people participate in social networking. They do not care about physical time, but pay great attention to psychological time. That is to say, when he is interested in this social networking, he does not care about the actual amount of time spent. Otherwise, psychologically, there is a sense of day and year.
But after all, we humans are controlled by physical time to live, so it is best not to waste time, to make it easier for ourselves and to make it easier for others. What's more important is to make the entertainment itself effective.
Carnegie Endowment reminds us that time is the last and most important factor for socializing.
There is a principle in social networking: first meet the needs of others and meet their own needs. But unfortunately, in this society, there are not many people who can achieve this step, because they are afraid of losses.
However, we can give many examples to illustrate that people who are successful in all aspects always use this set. Sometimes, they can even defeat.
There is a big newspaper in Japan. In the past few years, the editor-in-chief exchanged personnel. The newcomers have not held important posts in the newspaper industry, even "I haven't even sat down on the big car I interviewed" (Japanese new reporters set off on the newspaper's big car team when they were trainee. If they were old, they could drive on their own ), this highly hostile criticism came from some journalists, but these opinions were made known to the new editor-in-chief. On the first day of his tenure, he smiled and said to his colleagues, "I am in the office of the newspaper this time. I am not the chief editor, but I am also qualified as a data room employee, in terms of data investigation and statistics, I only know a little about the economy. Therefore, I have only one willingness to take a bus from a news reporter. I also hope that I can get the experience of my colleagues in the field by taking the bus and request cooperation from a bank in the future, for our colleagues to handle a kind of installment payment close to the urban area. ......"
His words have not been fully spoken, and the conference room has been filled with applause, and everyone has supported his appointment.
There was a female star from Japan to Hong Kong who planned to show songs and dances in Southeast Asia after having a small residence.
She needs one or two short scripts. In her mind, it would be great for a famous Hong Kong writer to write for her. The writer is both Chinese and Western, and has a funny style, but he is also very busy.
The singer called her friend and said she had been introduced by a director. She was about to have dinner with a writer that night, but she did not know how to open a request to him.
"What short series are you asking him to write ?"
"Whatever you want, just write it ."
"This is not good. He doesn't understand your needs and may not write well. But when he finishes writing, you find that he is not ideal and asks him to modify it, the problem will become serious!"
"I 'd like him to write a woman romance for me most, but I need new content instead of previous stories ."
"This is good. He has written many such things before. You just need to know that he has written these scripts and is very admired ......."
After two days, the singer called her friend and said happily: "He promised to write two short plays for me without waiting for me to make a request ."
Her friend said, "during dinner, have you been talking about his past successes ?"
"You are right. I mainly talk about how his work is liked in Japan ."
"By the way, this is the success of catering to others' interests in social networking ."
There is a women's organization in Japan. after work every day, there are many ladies and gentlemen playing tennis there, but a gentleman is playing tennis in the prohibited area of the man every day. One day when his friend was invited to the same room, he was hesitant to hear about the name of the organization. He asked, "Why don't you go to the Municipal Gymnasium ?" The gentleman said, "I not only played tennis there, but also the coach there. I was also the leader in a tennis competition !" The reason is that there are not many good women tennis players there, and most people are still learning. They have a principle: "to play tennis, you must practice well ." In other words, since you come to the tennis court, you have to be interested in tennis. Exercise unless you are born with a tennis genius.
Carnegie card tells us why not in social networking? Have we noticed the interests of others? Have we worked hard in this aspect to contact people? It is naturally gratifying for some people to enjoy social networking. But if it is not a genius, we will need to learn.
When we go to a large banquet, we all share the same idea, that is, we 'd better avoid having to sit in the same room with strangers, because talking and smiling together with acquaintances, if you are with strangers, you will lose fun. In fact, this kind of thinking is really a result of evading the awareness of social networking, just as you walk into the tennis court and don't want to practice the ball.
Active conversations with people at a banquet with strangers are one of the ways to get more friends. In entertainment, we can refer to the term "study the performance of socializing ."
Only by finding a way to meet more people and make these people friends is the true reward policy of life.
You will say, "I don't want to show off on social networking. I am just down-to-earth and doing my own thing. What do I need to know too many friends ?" If you have such an idea, you can tell us that Mark twines is not a person who depends on social networking. His main career is just to bury his head in his work, he only needs talents and more sense of humor. However, anyone acknowledges that Mark twines is the most friend and the best person to get along.
He once said: "A person can be really happy only when he gets along with someone who has no interest in himself ."
A female graduated from a kindergarten teacher from a certain place and celebrated her academic success at the dust banquet. However, Carnegie card praised her for choosing the best course because she was a kindergarten teacher, at the beginning of school, too. The first child to be enrolled is the most difficult to teach. It is very valuable for her to specialize in this field. There are quite a few students in Qianjin normal school, but there are very few teachers in kindergarten. Few are willing to entertain children at the beginning of school.
Carnegie card asked her some entertaining children and said, "You will definitely read about preschool psychology in 'kindergarten teachers. This is much more important than others ."
"Yes ." "We spent almost seven minutes learning this theory and knowledge," she said ."
"As you can see, where is the most difficult place for a child to cope ?"
"No one who has received kindergarten teacher training will feel that children are difficult to cope ."
"That is to say, in class, they will eventually accept your discipline, but you need to know that there are still many things for children to cope with, such as fear of strangers, crying, and defecation, I think you must have some tips for these things."
"I don't know what the secret is, but when I am on the scene, most of them can handle it. Do you believe it or not? When we are in class, please come and see how we can socialize with them ."
Out of curiosity, Carnegie Mellon really went to the kindergarten class to see how these "kindergarten teachers" experts could entertain their children.
When I go to the kindergarten class, I will also find out why my parents are great for their children. The kindergarten they visited in the suburbs was a little amazing. They opened a total of 18 classes this semester, which is far more than the number of primary and secondary school classes they originally set up.
On the first day of school year, the bus came to pick up the students. The students were full of designated waiting locations. Among the people who came with the bus, the children's parents, rather than the nanny, were all in sight. Because parents are not allowed to take the bus, most of the children who leave their parents for the first time are crying, making them even less worried. The only way they can take a bus and follow the bus, as a result, traffic is congested.
It was hard to arrive at the school gate! You can imagine hundreds of children, hundreds of casual parents, crying, chaos, congestion, calling male and female, queuing for shift .......
However, seeing teachers, including female students, as calm as they are, Carnegie card will not worry about them, knowing that they will have a way to calm the chaos.
Carnegie Mellon heard the school broadcast a broadcasting program to its parents, asking them not to be too nervous, nor to yell at them because it was the first time the children left their parents and came to this strange place, the school has its own way of discipline, please rest assured that the next day it is best not to follow the children to school.
There is actually only one secret for children to entertain in kindergarten, that is, "Adapting to others' interests ".
What are children's interests? As long as you can understand their psychology, you can solve it.
It is said that when I was just in class, many children had to sit with their parents. However, this situation only lasted for one day. The next day, the child automatically refused to accompany his mother, because the teacher said to him in public: "Lili, you see, May doesn't want her to accompany him, isn't it better to let mom go home and prepare lunch for you?" The child's profile is strong. As soon as she saw it, amay was no longer with her mother, so she was too embarrassed.
Some children have been crying in class, and the teacher also said to him in the same way: "You don't think everyone is crying. Don't cry either. Wait for a while and each of us will have a cake." The child really does not cry.
Talking to a child should be in the tone of a child; otherwise, he will not accept it at all, not to mention that he will be automatically obedient.
After all, the above is just a general situation. For example, how can we clean up the chaotic scenes during kindergarten operation? Soon, Carnegie Ley asked the girl who graduated from the kindergarten. She said: we all understood the scene according to one principle: On the first day, we were crying and quarreling; on the second day, we were still crying and quarreling;
On the third day, everyone was good. On the fourth day, the children started to be naughty.
After reading the entertainment activities of kindergarten teachers for children, Carnegie Mellon believes that the reason for their success is that they can sacrifice. It should be said that: "give up" your personality to cater to the children's interests and thoughts.
This kind of practice is out of enthusiasm, but enthusiasm is always a factor for the success of social networking.
When your heart is full of enthusiasm, what you ask to others is not an embarrassing question, but a question that he is willing to answer or familiar.
You know that someone has been to the United States. If you ask him about the United States, he will be very happy or talking about many things in the United States, even if you only want to ask about the procedures for entry into the United States, he will tell you how quickly the elevator of the Empire State Building in New York is approaching, and some places in the streets of San Francisco are like Hong Kong, because you cater to his interests.
Karenky further analyzed that there was a kind of conflicting human mind in his life, just as some human beings were equal to men and women, but on the other hand they wanted to maintain the male privilege, the other party may be hard to understand. It is said that a celebrity in Japan talked about the equality of men and women in a certain social activity:
Q: Do you think women should participate in the regime? A: Of course, I think it is too late to allow women to participate in the regime. Q: Do you think private prostitution should be banned? A: You should immediately scan the website. Q: What do you think of a man as a hacker? A: I am ashamed of being a male. Q: Should my wife come out to do things? A: Yes. Yes!
After hearing the above answers, you will have an impression that this person is a standard equality between men and women. Continue.
Q: Do you agree with the same school? A: men and women have their own characteristics. If they study together, they will inevitably lose their own characteristics. However, they also have the advantages of classmates.
Carnegie we should note that he holds two comments in favor or opposition to the problem of having the same school between male and male. In other words, he adopts the neutral principle and is not sure whether or not he can.
However, those who talk to him understand his "neutral" as "in favor", because in his previous answers, he said many arguments in favor of equality between men and women, the audience was influenced by this, and the "neutral" opinion was regarded as "in favor.
In a similar test, the American psychologist Hamman found that among one hundred people, 73 understood the reply of the other party in the direction they expected, this is also important in social networking.
The Learning and art of entertainment do not last night, so it also depends on the accumulation of experience. In his discussion, Dr. Gan Bao put "experience" first. The second is:
(2) You should have special knowledge about the content of the topic. When you talk to the other party about something, you must understand it. Otherwise, it will be less attractive, do not interest the other party.
(3) fully understand the truth of the relationship between people-there are many things that can never be changed even if they are different in practice, always keep yourself in mind.
(4) cultivate tolerance-Never make things easy. Experience has proved that "small device" often causes losses.
(5) you can use your voice to express your wishes-do not be confused. Some people think that ambiguity is a kind of skill, but it is actually rather poor. People who really know how to use social networking will make their positions openly available.
(6) always neutral and objective-based on experience, a person with a neutral attitude can often win more friends. You don't even need to say anything to your "dead party", as long as it is actually "dead party.
(7) do not stick to a certain opinion if you have a scale to measure all kinds of values of things.
(8) Keep things confidential. A person cannot keep a secret and will find many mistakes in any event.
(9) do not speak too much and try to make others speak more.
(10) Be kind and caring to people, and strive to understand the background and motivation of others.
If you do not get prepared for an event, it is often not just an unsuccessful event, but an irreparable failure, especially a salesman. Be careful with this.
There is a life insurance company in the United States who relies on his "Preparation" to become the "King ". His secret is: before he goes to persuade a guest, first understand whether he has bought another life insurance. If there is already life insurance in another house, if you want to persuade him to buy more from your company, the chances of success will be halved.
"In this situation," he said: "We must not mention life insurance any more. We may mention another kind of insurance, such as accident insurance ."
Low-energy life insurance providers will attack other life insurance services purchased by customers, and then recommend their own companies.
A newspaper dispatched a clerk to promote the store and undertook various newspapers and periodicals. He went to a customer who had subscribed to magazine a for a long time. He also rushed out and asked someone to book a magazine B. The guest refused in one sentence: "We don't have to book two magazines at the same time." Once this was said, the atmosphere was unpleasant and it was too late to introduce another magazine. There are a lot of things that can be prepared, prepared, and handled. Unfortunately, the average person ignores this kind of preparation and misses a great chance of success.
This is even the case in phone calls. When you are prepared to say "yes" or "no", you can avoid unnecessary unhappiness.
It is quite difficult for two people to switch from a non-specific topic to a positive topic. Many people like to talk a lot of things and then say, "Back to the truth, I am here to come to you today, not for the sake ......" Or: "Today's visit is actually ......" On the surface, it seems straightforward to go into the subject, but this will make all of the questions you just said completely ineffective, because the other party's mind has already divided your conversation into two. If you have this habit of talking and don't know how to turn questions, it's better to get started and talk about the subject as soon as you see it.
A washing machine salesman visited his friends to promote the washing machine. If he first talked to others and then said, "Today's visit has no other purpose, I really want to promote ......" I think most of them will fail. But at the beginning, he talked about the recent days without rain, the reservoir is dry, the water is stopped, and then said: "These days have been very hot. I have to change my shirt every day. It is a big headache to wash my clothes every day ......" As a result, I transferred to the washing machine for sales promotion. It is really amazing that the other party will not feel uncomfortable even if they find this "se.
In some cases, we need to declare that "let's talk less and get down to the truth. For example, if the other party knows your intention, or has already agreed on what to talk about, a formal announcement can hold the other party's mood tight and concentrate on it, to talk about things between you.
Some things cannot be answered immediately. You must make your own judgment beforehand. If you encounter such things, you 'd better leave without waiting for a reply:
"You are very busy. I will not delay you. please think about it more !" This is also a good way to attract people, and you also leave a signal to come back next time.
Carnegie Mellon pointed out that we nourish the bodies of our children, friends and employees, but seldom nourish their self-esteem. We offer them beef and potato to cultivate energy, but we forget to give them praise that can echo the sound of the morning stars for many years in their memories.
Paul havi once described his sincere praise and appreciation in the end of a broadcast program "story", how it changed a person's life. Several years ago, he said, a Detroit teacher asked Steve Mo Switzerland to help her find a lost mouse in the classroom. She knows that God gave Steve something that nobody in our house had. God gave Steve a pair of amazing ears to compensate for his blind eyes. So the teacher's request made Steve feel that his expertise was appreciated by others for the first time. A few years later, Steve said that his attention and appreciation was the beginning of his new life. From that time on, he began to develop his talent for listening, and finally became the greatest popular song artist and artist in the seven years. His art name is Steve Wang Del.
When some readers see the above example, they will say, "This method is cool!
I tried it. No use-no effect on people with knowledge ."
Of course, it is superficial, selfish, and hypocritical. It should fail and often fails. Some people are so hungry that they can accept everything. Just like a starving person, they can even eat grass and bait.
For example, why is it so smooth in the marriage market that the divani brothers have been married for many times? Why can these two so-called "sons and Sisters" Find A Way To marry two famous and beautiful movie stars, one world-famous chief female singer, and one Barbara heton who is worth millions of dollars? How did they do it?
"The charm of the Tiffany brothers for women," said John aríllargill, in an article in freedom. "…… For a long time, it has been a mystery for many people ."
Bolangni, a well-known woman, a man's exclusive taste, is also a great artist who once gave an explanation of Carnegie card. She said: "They are more flattering than any other man I have ever met. In this age of reality and no emotion, the compliment is almost a forgotten thing. I can assure you that such a compliment is the secret that the difanni brother attracts women ."
Even Queen Victoria was flattered. Dulley admitted that he often uses compliments in front of the Queen. Quoting his own words, he said he was "shameless to compliment ". However, delari is one of the most sophisticated, skillful, and competent people who have ruled the British Empire. In his line, he is a genius. Of course, the methods that are effective for him are not necessarily effective for us. Compliment is more beneficial to you than it is. It is like a fake banknote. If you want to use it, it will always cause you trouble.
What is the difference between appreciation and compliment? Very simple. One is sincere, the other is not sincere; the other is from the heart, and the other is from the teeth; the other is liked by the people in the world, and the other is ignored by the people in the world.
In the chaptpek Palace in Mexico City, Carnegie card saw a portrait of General orbrigang. Under that statue, the philosophical wisdom of General orbrigang was engraved: "Don't worry about attacking your enemies. Worry about praising your friends ."
Therefore, Carnegie card does not advocate compliments! Carnegie is talking about a new way of life.
George five, the King of England, presented a six-sentence motto on the wall of his study at the palace. One of them is: "Teach me how to not flatter or accept cheap praise ." Compliment is just a cheap compliment. Carnegie Mellon said that he once read a compliment definition, which may be worth introducing to everyone: "compliment refers to saying to another person exactly what he thinks of himself ."
"No matter what language you use," Emerson said. "What you say is a portrayal of yourself ."
If we can achieve the goal with just a compliment, We will compete for it, and we will all be experts in human life.
When we are not thinking about some definite problems, we usually spend 95% of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about the benefits of others for a while and start to think about them, we will not resort to the fake compliments that we have not said yet.
One of the many virtues that we often overlook in our daily lives is to show appreciation and praise to others. When our son and daughter brought back a good transcript, we ignored it and did not praise him or her, or when they made a cake or made a cage for the first time, we didn't give them some encouragement. Nothing is more fun than the concern and praise of parents and children.
Carnegie card suggested to us that the next time you eat a good dish at a restaurant, do not forget to say that the dish is doing well and pass this sentence to the master. When a busy salesman shows you a polite attitude, please praise him.
Every missionary, teacher, and speaker has experienced the relief of the speech that has not been praised by the audience.
These people will encounter this situation, and those who work in the office, shop, and factory, as well as our family and friends, will even encounter this situation.
In terms of interpersonal relationships, we should never forget that all of our colleagues are human beings and are eager for others' appreciation and praise. Appreciation and praise are something everyone welcomes.
Here you go every day, let's say a few thanks, leaving some friendly little sparks. You will not be able to imagine how these little sparks ignited the flame of friendship, and the flame of friendship will light you up next time you come to this place.
What is the secret of a successful commercial talk? According to Charles iryat, the amiable scholar, "successful commercial conversations are nothing mysterious ...... It is very important to focus on the people who talk to you. There is no more compliment than doing so ."
He is a skilled master of listening art. Henry James, one of the most popular American writers, recalled that listening to ellits is not silence, but activity. He sat straight and put his hands on his lap. There was no other action except the thumb or the twenty or twenty. He faces each other and seems to listen to him with his eyes and ears. He listened attentively and listened attentively to what he said. Finally, the speaker will feel that he has already said what he wants to say.
It's easy to understand. You don't have to discover this in Harvard University for four years.
However, we know that some merchants will rent expensive places and purchase their goods skillfully. The store is beautifully decorated and a lot of advertising fees are spent, however, they hired some shop assistants who did not know how to listen to others-the shop assistants interrupt the guests, argue with others, embarrass others, and only drive out the guests.
We have noticed that those who often complain, and even those who are least pleased, often soften and succumb to a patient, compassionate listener. Such listeners will remain in silence when being picked up and scolded by others. For example, a New York Telephone Company found several years ago that it had met the most vicious user who spoke to the operator. He was furious and threatened to pull up the phone and refuse to pay some of the fees, saying they were born out of nothing. He wrote a letter to the newspaper, made numerous complaints to the Public Service Committee, and reported several phone companies.
Finally, one of the most competent "mediators" of the telephone company was sent to meet the troubled user. The "mediator" listened quietly, letting the furious user speak out all his dissatisfaction. The phone company's "mediator" listened patiently and kept saying "yes" to sympathize with his dissatisfaction.
"He was talking, and I listened for almost three hours ." The "mediator" described his experience in Carnegie ache. "Then, I continue to listen. I have seen him four times. Before the fourth meeting, I have become a member of an organization that he wants to establish. He calls it the telephone user protection association '. I am still a Member of this Organization, and as far as I know, I am the only Member of this Organization except the old man.
"I listened and felt sympathetic to each of the arguments made during his meetings. He never saw a phone company talking to him like this, so he became friendly. At the first meeting, I didn't even ask why I was looking for him, nor did I ask for the second or third time. But in the fourth time, the incident was completely resolved. He paid all the bills and withdrew the appeal to the Public Service Board ."
Undoubtedly, the old man thinks that he is a holy man who presides over justice and maintains the rights of the masses to avoid exploitation. But in fact, what he wants is the feeling of an important person. First, he gets the feeling of this important person by making a bad speech or complaining. But when he got this feeling from a representative of a telephone company, the complaints from none of them turned out to be none.
It's the greatest listening master in modern times. A person who once met freeload described his attitude towards listening to others: "It's so shocking to me that I will never forget him. I have never seen such a special character in others, and I have never seen such a focused person, with such a keen soul to gain insight into and stare at things. His eyes are so humble and gentle, his voice is soft and his posture is very small. But his focus on me and his attitude towards my speech-even if I am not talking well, it is still the same. These are really unusual. You really cannot imagine what it means for others to listen to you like this ."
If you want to know how to make others hide from you, laugh at you behind your back, or even despise you, there is a way: Never listen to people talking more than three words, constantly talking about yourself. If you know what others say, don't wait for him to finish. He is not as smart as you are. Why are you wasting your time listening to his chats?
However, the result of this operation is to put yourself at a disadvantage.
Only people who talk about themselves can think of themselves. "Just think of your own people," said Dr. Nikola sbutler, principal of Columbia University ." "He has not been educated," said Stuart. "No matter how many years he has read ."
Therefore, if you want to be a good talker, please be a good talker. As Charles nosan Lee said: "To be interesting, you must be interested in others ." Ask questions that others like to answer and encourage them to talk about themselves and their achievements.
Remember that people talking to you are more interested in themselves, their needs, and their problems. He is more interested in his neck pain than the forty earthquakes in Africa. Don't forget this when you start talking to others next time.
Therefore, if you want others to like you, remember this rule:
"Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves ."
