Classic: 50 niub text messages saved by a programmer on a mobile phone

1. The old couple took a photo. The photographer asked, "Do you want side light, backlight, or all light? ", Said the uncle," I don't care. Can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt? "

2. wife quotes: allow you to get drunk, allow you to hook up with your sister, but you must return to the old lady at night. If you dare to hurt my heart and hurt my lungs, the old lady must have your third leg broken, so that your birds and birds will never sleep.

3. Two dumplings got married. After the guests were sent away, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatballs lying in the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was? The meatballs shyly said, "No, you don't know people who take off their clothes!

　
4. The two couples had a strange idea when they had dinner one day: a naked meal! Look for what we used to feel! The old lady said: I still have a reaction! The milk room is as hot as it was when it was young! The old man glanced at it and said, "I 've pulled it to the soup!

5. four mice boast: A: I take the mouse medicine as sugar every day; B: I do not step on the mouse every day to itch; C: I do not have to go on the street several times a day; D: it's not too early. Let's go home and hold the cat.

6. the sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of the man's words is true; love is eternal, blood is bright red, and men cannot beat; if men are rich, everyone has an affinity. When a man lives on it, pigs climb trees.

7. A group of ant financial climbed up the back of an elephant, but was shaken down. Only one ant financial left his neck intact. The following ant financial shouted, killing him and killing him, it's fucking reversed!

8. The child stole the parrot from the school. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called "moving! When I saw his mother again, his name was changed! When I saw his sister again, the name was changed, too, Miss! When I saw his father again, he called "I am Cao or an old customer!

9. Who is a good couple of steps in my life! Take care of your family, so do your lover! There is a cook in the house, and it has a good heart outside. It looks nice to sit on the table, and there is a miss in the distance! Keep 2, hold 1, develop 3, 5, 6, and 7!

10. A puppy climbed up your table and climbed down to a roast chicken. You said angrily: How dare you treat the roast chicken? How dare I treat you? As a result, the puppy licked the chicken ass, you fainted, the puppy said: Look down on who is jealous.

11. It is said that tonight, the Shadows are not scattered, the dead are now, and the ghosts are turning around! May the ghost Hear my call and come to you in the middle of the night, pale face, green eyes, dry hands touch your face, say to you on behalf of me: Good night!

12. A man is always smiling, and his eyes are everywhere! A woman is full of breasts and thin waist. It's not just your pockets, it's just a Black Knife! This year's male and female, please be careful!

13. when you are on the road, a bitch throws at you and bites a piece of meat from your feet. Then, as you stretch your foot and kick it, the dog says with tears: You beat it, I already have your backbone in my stomach!

14. The mouse was so depressed that a bat finally agreed to marry him. The mouse was very happy. When others laugh, he has no eyes. Rat: What do you know? She is a flight attendant.

15. A friend asked the Bat how he could marry a mouse. The Bat's eyes were tearful and meaningful: Alas! On that day, he had a big brother, and he had a strong fire. He jumped onto the ceiling and gave him a hand.

16. I spent a dime sending you this text message to tell you that I am not a hero. For example, a dime text message is your birthday gift.

17. Ant was lying lazily in the soil and stretched out a leg. A friend asked you what to do? Ant: When an elephant arrives, he gets along.

18. Magpie came. Mom said that this is a pleasant bird, but a swallow came. Mom said that this is a beneficial bird, and a crow came. The child asked you if you were a guest too? CROW: Yes, I am a hacker!

19. A Beauty found that the lipstick was too heavy. She wiped it with a wet paper towel and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up and suddenly woke up for half a day, and said, girl, this SLIM is easy to get off!

20. Cucumber fell in love and cried, and eggplant comforted her: Love is not just sweet, just intoxicated, but heartbroken and weeping. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

41. yesterday I dreamed that God could satisfy me with a desire. I took out the globe and said that the world would be peaceful. He said it was too difficult to change one. I took out your photo and said that this person would be beautiful, he pondered for a moment and asked me to take a look at the globe.

42. A female is so ugly that she cannot marry and wants to be abducted. At last, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The hacker sent her back, and she never got off the bus. The hacker gritted his teeth and said, "Go, no car ."

43.20 years ago, when my father waited for you, he laughed at the child and cried. An old man who sells bananas patted his father and said, "Big Brother, don't cry. Give a banana to a monkey! It's really pitiful, and it's all gone ."

44. on the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant, "Give ye a cup of water." The pig also learns the parrot and said to the flight attendant, "Give ye a cup of water." The flight attendant was furious, they dropped both parrots and pig from the plane. Then the parrot said to the pigs, "silly B, ye will fly ."

45. An old farmer squatted in the ground, and a crow flew over and pulled the shit onto the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and shouted, "Cao, your mother! I don't know how to wear my pants when I go out !" The crow said, "Cao! You are pulling your pants !" V

46. James told his mother that when the guest came to play at home today, his brother put a graph in the chair of the guest and I saw it. Mom said, "How did you do it ?" James said, "I stood by. When the guest was about to sit down, I took the chair from behind him ."

47. A conversation in a crowded bus one day is as follows: a pregnant woman standing beside him said to a man, "do you know I'm pregnant? "(If you want him to give up his seat...) The man said nervously," the child is not mine !』

48. it's just a burst of wind, but it's just such an eternal dream. It's just so real that you don't speak, but it's hard for me to calm down. I can't help but say to you ,: say it next time you fart!

49. A pair of lovers were caught by the savage in the mountains and said, "You eat each other's stool and let it go. When a lover does it, a woman cries while returning home. The man asks the reason, and the woman says sadly: You don't love me, or you won't pull so much!

50. One day, a gentleman's wife gave birth to a child. He hurried to the hospital to visit him. After waiting for N hours, there was a cry in the production room. He shouted happily. I became a father! At this time, the doctor looked sad and told him that the child was born malformed. When a gentleman stayed there, he didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife shouted in the production room: They all blamed the day for killing the man. He watched the post and never replied to it!