Crosstalk scripts for the company's annual meeting

Source: Internet
Author: User
Li: Hello, everyone. Today we are giving you a crosstalk. Li: Let's introduce myself first. My name is Li XX, And I'm Li Yi: I'm Yi XX, and I'm Yi Jing. [ Deduction Guide : Give full play to your name] Li: This surname is rare and easy: It doesn't matter if it's rare. I am familiar with it first. Everyone will know me tomorrow. Li: This guy is confident and easy: but you should note that although my surname is Yi, I am not "Yi" [ Xiaochang ] Li: Not Mr. Yi. Is it Miss Yi? [ Deduction Guide : Check whether the other party is a female] Yi: What I'm talking about is: I'm not the Mr. Yi in color. Li: I used to be Mr. Yi. What's his name? Easy: no name, because Zhang Ailing There is no way to name him Li: Why? [ Deduction Guide : Getting excited] Yi: This Yi surname is not a good name. You see, now all the names are personalized. Wu gave birth to a child named Wu. Qian gave birth to a child named Qian duoduo, and Xu gave birth to a child named a lot of money, the name of a child surnamed Mao is Mao velvet Li: these are all Pediatrics, there is a bell, the clock, a twins easy: how to name it? Li: The big one is Zhong Gongyi: What about the small one? Li: The small one is Zhong yangyi: He is a father of the CPC Central Committee. [ Xiaochang ] Li: I didn't say easily: when I was in elementary school, I was always thinking about how to name a child if I had a child in the future? Li: mature enough early: one day, I came up with a very personal name. Li: What name? Yi: I gave birth to a boy named Yi laq (Iraq) [ Xiaochang ] Li: What about regenerate one? Yi: Name it Yi Lang (Iran) [ Xiaochang ] Li: The two Iraq war starts from your home. What about the other one? Yi: I'll give him a name called Yi can. [ Deduction Guide : You need to think about the scene for a while to make the audience look forward to it.] [ Xiaochang ] Li: What if I still have one? Is a girl [ Deduction Guide : Deliberately make a problem and make a giggle] Yi: That... That ..., Yes, I put yake over. Li: It's Kray? You are not surnamed ke Ah Yi: No, I gave her a name named Yi kela (1 KARAT) Li: only 1 karat ah, too little it: I'm talking about Yi Kela, 0.1 billion Kla [ Deduction Guide : Don't rush to give answers, create suspense for the audience] [ Xiaochang ] Li: greedy enough. If S is... Yi: (bitter face) Big Brother, I have already had three children, and I have to pay for the fines. You have made me born. [ Deduction Guide : Bitter face] [ Xiaochang ] Li: As you continue, it is estimated that there will be so many children: I am still young, I will be 25 years old tomorrow, and I will spend yuan for a man. You can see me, and you can see that it is easy to see tomorrow: I'm handsome, you see me, a table of talents, extraordinary temperament, and an excellent hero; chef yi, Yushu linfeng; Pan an re-shi, Song Yu reborn Li: I think it is a table of talents, two yi: 25 years old are sure to be very young, do you say it? Agree to pick up your left hand .... [ Deduction Guide : Everyone is encouraged to applaud] Yi: it is estimated that Li: 25 years old is indeed still young, but many colleagues at the scene are older than 25 years old Yi: the IT industry produces a high volume of young people. [ Possible Xiaochang ] Li: looking at it, it's all leftover male. [ Deduction Guide : Use body language, such as an exaggerated Wave] Ease: however, there are many Program There are actually a lot of excellent girls around the staff, Li: Maybe they think it's too familiar to start. [ Deduction Guide : Rich expressions] [ Possible Xiaochang ] Yi: Of course, the rabbit does not eat grass. [ Xiaochang ] Li: But as a programmer, catch is always easy: Yes, a good programmer should estimate exceptions and catch exceptions. Li: the exception I mentioned is not an exception in the program: (ODD) So what exceptions do you capture? Li: for young people in the IT industry, every girl is prone to exceptions in their lives: Yes, programmers are always capturing exceptions in programs, ignoring exceptions in their lives. Li: they always put their hands tied to the mouse easily: in fact, it is much better to hold a girl's little hand than to hold the mouse, it is the damn mouse [ Deduction Guide : Repeat, say the following sentence to be hysterical] [ Xiaochang ] Li: girls are more interesting than computers, and life is more fun than computers: in fact, girls have very simple needs. A bunch of roses, a cup of red wine, pink lights, and romantic music, also, the dream you carefully crafted for her is enough to keep her and you forever. Li: Yes, but many people just ignore this point: I know a buddy, I am still single after 30, and have a car and a room. My income is quite high. Li: I am still single at the age of 30. No one will introduce me to him? Yi: Yes, good guy. I introduced him to the Red Flag, the color flag floated, and the front didn't go. The back came in. Li: So many introductions, didn't he get involved? Yi: No. This guy is too picky. I use more windows. I always think Linux is uncomfortable. Li: How can I pick it up? Yi: He can't say this yet. Why do we have to perform the on-site interpretation of Li: How can we do this? Yi: I'm here to play this guy. Where are you? Let's play Lee for my blind date: OK, ready Li: dude, you have too many bosses, so you should find an object. I will introduce you to one. How can this problem be solved? Easy: Good good, many people to introduce me, I think they introduced objects are not CMMI-5-level products Li: It seems that the requirements are quite good, I will introduce you to a beautiful girl easy: Beautiful? Insecure at home [ Xiaochang ] Li: Lang, Qian Kun, is there another burglary? Yi: You think, pretty girls, there are a lot of premarital pursuers, and there will always be a bunch of innocent flies flying in your house after marriage... ..., When Your forefoot leaves, they will... [ Deduction Guide : Just like Sun Wukong In the westward journey, he said Tang Miao.] [ Xiaochang ] Li: You have a lot of fun too. Do you want to bring her around? [ Deduction Guide : A New Look] Ease: it is even less secure to be around. It has a wide range of contacts, more people are known, and more wolf meat is less. Dealing with a group of wolves is already a battle, and then a group of tigers will not let people live. [ Deduction Guide : Helpless style, focusing on emoticons] [ Xiaochang ] Li: How can I put my laptop at home for fear of being stolen? It is too troublesome to take it with me. Do you want to find a slim one? Yi: What Is Slim? I am thin. Li: How thin is so good. Now I pay attention to the beauty of bones and feelings: the beauty of bones, and you are not so worried about your worries in your arms. [ Xiaochang ] Li: You used to like fat. It seems that it's cool, and it's easy: Too fat, my hands are too short. I can't afford it when I enter the cave room. [ Deduction Guide : Hand-held action] [ Xiaochang ] Li: You want to be tall... Easy: Too high I feel inferior. I can't make a kiss and I have to put a stool on it. [ Deduction Guide : Starting] [ Xiaochang ] Li: That's the case. Find a shorter one. It's easy: the shorter one is not conducive to the next generation. I am ruined, and I hope it will all be placed on the next generation. [ Xiaochang ] Li: It seems that it is not a high school or a low school diploma... [ Deduction Guide : Li will continue to say that it is easy to interrupt] Easy: I feel inferior to a high degree of education [ Xiaochang ] Li: Find a smart person with a high IQ... [ Deduction Guide : Li will continue to say that it is easy to interrupt] Easy: I am afraid of losses due to high IQ [ Xiaochang ] Li: Well, you must have a high position. I have to be led when I go home from the company. I am too tired. [ Xiaochang ] Li: I understand. You are inferior to others who are tall. If you are ugly, you are not chasing. If you are beautiful, you are afraid that she will fly. If you have a high IQ, you are afraid that you will suffer losses. If you have a high position, you are afraid that you are too tired; if you are thin, you are not fat. If you are fat, you are afraid of being difficult to carry. If you have no money, you are afraid of not living. If you have money, are you afraid of living too much? [ Deduction Guide : Pay attention to the archive and press the sound down] Yi: Yes, this guy picked this way. Li: I suggest you buy more mouse: Why? Li: I guess I will touch the mouse in my life. I want to buy a few more mouse copies. [ Deduction Guide : Yi started to bow his head. after about ten seconds, he began to speak in a low voice.] Yi: Yes, we have always struggled to find our other half in the red dust all our lives. Li: My fellow male always think that there are too few beautiful women, in fact, there is no beauty in this world, but a lack of beautiful men. Easy: female compatriots always think that there are too few excellent men. In fact, excellent men are all transferred by women. [ Xiaochang ] Li: My fellow male always thinks that another person's wife is good because the beauty has been discovered by others. Easy: My fellow female always thinks that a good man is married, this is because all married men have been transferred out. Li: I have not been transferred yet. You are welcome to contact a single girl... Where are you going? Yi: I wrote a love letter to my girls. Li: Isn't it true that rabbits don't eat grass? Yi: I am not a rabbit!

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