Do not beat or scold the top 10 talents to discipline the children

From: http://hi.baidu.com/%CB% AB %D0%C2%CA%C0%BC%CD/blog/item/4950d1dc1ae0b9aacc11663d.html

 

 

There are thousands of ways to discipline a child. It is the most direct way to scold a child. However, the times are changing and concepts are being updated. Of course, the ways for parents to discipline their children cannot be changed! Maybe the parents may wonder if they will spoil their children if they put the stick together? In fact, when a child makes a mistake, the child is responsible with a respectful attitude. Instead, the child is more able to cultivate an independent and rational personality.

Parents' hands should be filled with caring and warmth, rather than making their children feel unfamiliar and afraid. A child who grows up in a war environment will gradually develop negative behaviors, such as lying if he does not dare to express his true feelings, and stealing if he has the need. However, some parents often find it difficult to find effective methods of education in addition to scolding. Now, let's take a look at the top 10 Ways of discipline!

Common Causes of scolding a child

When asked why they want to scold their children, many parents "Don't listen to discipline ". For this reason, Miss Cheng Guiying should clarify here. When parents scold a child, they always push all the reasons to the child. They think that the child forces him to do this, but seldom seek other ways to teach the child. In fact, no matter what discipline is used to treat children, their responsibilities should be borne by their parents rather than children. It is because parents are reluctant to look for other ways of education that they will abuse. In general, there are four main reasons for parents to scold their children.

Traditional education concept

It is undeniable that the traditional education concept has a subtle influence on us, for example, "Do not break into a machine" and "show filial piety under a stick. In the traditional concept, the relationship between parents and children is the upper-right relationship, and there is no concept of respecting and having an equal relationship with children. The respect of traditional culture is mostly on the relationship between common people, but it is very lacking in parent-child relationship.

Poor self-management

If the parents' minds are not mature enough, It is a heavy burden on the children. When you encounter difficulties or setbacks in your life, it is easy for some parents to vent their grievances to their children. When a parent's expectations for his or her own life or work are not met, he or she is expected to act in full accordance with his/her instructions, most of the parents will scold them.

Familiar growth experience

Due to the lack of timely acceptance of new knowledge or lack of experience, some parents directly apply the original parental discipline model-as long as they do not have the intention of their parents, they will be punished with such abuse. Therefore, when he cannot make his child do things or live in his own way, he also prefers to discipline the child in the most familiar way.

Seek quick and convenient methods

Some parents are too lazy to think about other ways to discipline their children. They think that it is the most convenient and effective way to fight for education. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake, the first thing that comes to mind is to punish the child.

Top 10 discipline tips

Few parents are born to teach their children, and few can naturally become masters of parenting. To be a successful parent, we need to constantly enrich our new knowledge. If you have never had a good educational experience since you was an early child and it is difficult to think about how to treat your child, please refer to the 10 methods proposed by instructor Cheng Guiying. When you get angry, you may wish to use these methods to replace the method of education.

1. Learn more about children

While making a living, parents must take time to learn more about their children, communicate with their children, nannies, and children's teachers, and try to have a full grasp of their performance in kindergartens and families. If you have a better understanding, you will have a lower misunderstanding. In this way, once a child is really disobedient, he can better understand how to guide the child.

2. Absorbing educational knowledge

The society is changing, and the environment for children's growth is changing. Therefore, the mode of education should naturally continue to improve. As a parent, it is necessary to take the initiative to absorb new education knowledge. In the traditional parent-child education mode, most of the parents use authority to educate their children, and the punishment is an important method of authoritative education. Absorbing new knowledge can help parents jump out of their own growth experience and adjust their educational concepts in a timely manner.

3. patiently listen to your children

If it is an aggressive parent, the most direct response is to speak out. At this time, teacher Cheng Guiying suggested that the parents calm down and try to have more patience and ask the children why they did so. When the parents' minds are already focused on understanding their children's thoughts and trying to help them solve their problems, they may find that their actions are actually justified, in addition, many negative emotions have been released.

4. truly put the body

Some parents always like to maintain dignity in front of their children, and are used to treating their children with the attitude above. In this regard, Mr. Cheng Guiying suggested that parents should put down their bodies and respect their children from the heart. Do not speak to the children in a command, and treat the children as adults with respect. Do not always say "no" to the child, but give the child multiple-choice questions and let the child make their own decisions. If your child is too old to be expressive, you can ask the child to propose a solution or alternative.

5. Tell your child the truth

In addition to the usual warning, parents should also teach their children some truth in the actual situation. Let the child have empathy, let him understand from the perspective of others, and truly understand how his behavior affects others. As for the explanation method, the depth of the explanation can be selected based on the age of the child. especially small children can use the storytelling method.

6. Let the children experience it

If a child is always unable to hear from an adult, the parent can also make the child feel "self-defeating" on the premise of ensuring safety and no adverse consequences. Through practical experience, the child will be able to deeply understand how correct and important the parents' teaching is.

7. Negotiate with the child

Don't always ask your children to live as adults wish, so it's not just the child's pain, it's even a lot of suffering. The child is also a person, and of course he has something he wants to do. Therefore, it may be a good way to negotiate with the child and take a step back. For example, when a child wants to jump to the sofa, but his parents have something to think about, he can ask the child to jump to the bed in the bedroom, or ask him to wait for a while to jump, or wait for the parents to finish the work and take the children to the park.

8. No matter how children are taught when they are angry

In extreme anger, parents cannot discipline their children in a rational way. Therefore, when the parents cannot calm down in any way, teacher Cheng Guiying suggested that the parents leave the scene temporarily or divert their attention to other things, for example, you can call a friend to chat or listen to music. After you have calmed down, you can have a good chat with your child.

9. Corrected expectations for children

Sometimes, a parent is too eager to take advantage of what he cannot do (maybe the parent thinks he can do it, but he has never done it !) To ask the child. You know, when your child is younger, he or she is very active, stubborn, and forgetful. If you really want to have requirements for your child, you must consider the child's growth. Do not always look at the child's performance with a magnifying glass.

10. Treat your child with sincerity

When communicating with children, some parents always like to use an accused or imperative tone, which is often unacceptable to children. According to teacher Cheng Guiying, the communication between parent and child should be sincere and there is no distance between them. Parents can honestly explain their worries or emotions to their children, it will make you sad to let your child know about his behavior, or worry and fear you. As long as the tone is peaceful and the attitude is sincere, you will find that the child is very happy to be considerate to his/her mom and dad!