Don't be mad at your current gains and losses

[Source: New Oriental network Author: Yu Minhong]

When a person or region only cares about immediate interests, it will eventually lead to failures in life and career.

In Yijing, there is a saying "action is to blame", that is, as long as you choose to do things, there will be gains and losses.

If you know that there is a bigger goal behind every loss, there are more tests, and there are too many things to be done in your life, you will no longer feel pain for what you lose.

I

In this world, it is very difficult to understand what is gain and what is loss. Because there are a lot of things that you need to work hard for a lifetime, not a day or two. As an employee, if you get hourly wages, you can get two hours of salary after two hours of work. But life is not like this. Getting and losing in life is a big cycle, not a cash transaction, but a "transaction" for a lifetime ". For example, the two of us have a deep friendship. Although there is no money in our life, you have finally gained my trust and I have gained your trust, the trust between us may become the most precious thing in the world.

Many people in the world cannot see this truth clearly. They will be overly greedy and want to gain immediate benefits. As a result, excessive greed becomes the cause of losing everything. No one from corrupt officials or merchants can escape from the Internet, and even if they are not caught, they will experience cold sweat when they go to bed. Zhou Zhengyi said the first sentence after being captured: "I have been caught, so that I can sleep well ." Before he was captured, he could not sleep peacefully. He jumped out of bed every day when he had a nightmare. Even if he is not caught, he may end up with a heart attack.

Looking at your immediate interests will lead to failure in your life and career. Since China was too poor in the past, many people will only focus on immediate interests and ignore future business opportunities. Many people in China open restaurants and sell fake goods for business purposes. Why? They think this is the best way to make money. However, there are many people who fail at the end, but few are successful because success is based on credibility, and credibility is based on long-standing observation. When people find out for the first time that they are wrong, they will not buy it for the second time. At that time, when the border trade between China and Russia was booming, the Chinese pulled all kinds of groceries from one or two cars, and the Russians accepted them without checking them. Because although it is old, they know it is real goods. But what happened to Sino-Russian border trade? Russians especially like to buy down jackets from China. Many Chinese put straw and chicken feathers into the jackets to make money. After the Russians discovered that they had been fooled, the proportion of China-Soviet border trade began to plummet. You will often hear that Chinese businessmen are often attacked by Russians in Russia and bullied by Russians. The root cause is that they do not want to bully the Chinese people, but because the Russians were cheated by Chinese businessmen, they finally angered all Chinese people. When a Russian is cheated by a Chinese, he will surely believe that 100 Chinese are like this, which is a group effect.

Let me give another example. There is a production base in Shandong, and exporting it to Japan has become the only economic source in that region. The Japanese demanded that the fern be dried in the sun and then packed and shipped to Japan. Since it takes two days to dry it in the sun, many people can't wait to take it back and start baking in a pot. After baking, it was dry on the surface, but the Japanese found that it was useless. The Japanese warned people in the region that they should never use a pot to stir fry them. They must put them in the sun. Most common people follow the rules of the game and share the sun. However, the rules of the game do not mean that most people will be able to maintain the rules. They must all follow the rules before they can be established. One common violates all the rules of the game. There are still several common people who secretly put the fern in a pot for stir-fry. The Japanese found that they cut off all the fern transactions with the region within one day. The region lost all economic sources overnight. Now, the common people are still struggling in poverty, because their fern cannot be sold, and the Japanese are determined not to purchase any fern in this region.

As you can imagine, when a person or region only cares about immediate interests, it will eventually lead to failure in life and career. However, many of us are actually doing this, but we don't realize it until we finally fail. We usually look back at the cause and find the cause to someone else, few people can find the cause from themselves.

II

Of course, sometimes we lose something in our lives is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, if you are unemployed, you will know how difficult your life is. When you are out of love, you will know how necessary the maturity of your feelings is. There is such a lyrics: because I can't get you, so I keep you in my heart. As you know, there is a phenomenon in the world that what you get is no longer your own. We have a lot of happiness and happiness around us, and a beautiful family, but we are blind to it. We do not respect our lover, our colleagues around us, the job opportunities we get, or the loss of work, I don't know how precious these things are.

In any case, our life is always in the choice of gain and loss. For example, if you choose to fall in love, you choose to be happy. At the same time, you choose to fall in love, because no one will ever fall in love. Love stories like Qian Yi and Yang Yi cannot be found in China. Therefore, when you choose to be happy, you are also choosing pain points. There are many things that are difficult to achieve. When I went to Beidaihe yesterday to write a report, when I arrived at the mengjiangfemale Temple, the waiter said "burn the incense bar and make a wish. I made a wish for myself and later found that this wish could not be fulfilled. I wish myself the existence, disappearance, activity, and activity that bring happiness and happiness to all people around me. In fact, this desire cannot be fulfilled, because my existence has already caused a lot of people's pain. Of course, my existence has also caused some people's happiness, my disappearance cannot make everyone happy. At least my mother will be sad for me, and my wife and children will be sad for me. Therefore, such a desire actually expresses a kind of yearning for perfection of life.

In Yijing, there is a saying "action is to blame", that is, as long as you choose to do things, there will be gains and losses. It doesn't mean that you will be accused when you move. The true meaning of it is that you will make mistakes when you move, and you will take risks. According to another sentence in Yijing, "tianxingjian, a gentleman is always striving for self-improvement", the explanation of the motion should be as follows: choosing "motion" is actually to solve the dilemma of life, to solve our daily difficulties, we are enriching our life experience, enriching our hearts, training our will, and finally turning us into a strong will, those who have an unwavering personality and have a bright future. So getting and losing is always two sides of a coin. If you get the front of the coin, you lose its opposite side. If you see the opposite side of the coin, you cannot see the front at the same time, use the correct attitude to treat the gains and losses in life dialectically.

3.

I have a forward analogy. There is a bottle of water in front of us because it is a good thing and everyone wants it. In order to get this bottle of water, I ran forward, and someone else took the water before I was about to catch it. But it cannot be because someone else has taken this bottle of water. I will not move forward, and I must continue to move forward. At this time, I will find a basket of flowers waiting for me. Of course, when I walked to the front of the flowers, it may have been taken away again. But at this time, I still cannot despair. I know that I have lost flowers, but there is something waiting for me in the future. I went forward and went further. I saw the laptop waiting for me, and its value may be higher than flowers. If I don't get my laptop, I will keep moving forward. Maybe my beloved one will be there waiting for me. When you use this mentality to deal with the gains and losses in your life, you know that there are other things behind the loss. Even if you don't get the last thing, you know that you have gained a wealth of life in your pursuit. If you have such a mentality, You will never lose, and you will never be disappointed.

In my personal case, everyone will understand. I took my college entrance examination for three years. In the first year, my highest goal was the Changshu Normal College in Jiangsu Province. In the second year, my goal was still the Changshu Normal College in Jiangsu province, but I still did not take the test. I took the test for the third year and entered Peking University. Later, I realized that the reason why I did not pass the exam in the past two years is that there is a higher goal waiting for me. This is the arrangement of the god of destiny. If I gave up in the next year, I would be still planting land in the countryside. After entering Peking University, I did not do anything proud. I haven't been in love with Peking University for six years. I still got tuberculosis and taught at Peking University. I didn't have any achievements. I was finally disciplined by a level-1 administrative agency in Peking University. Then I contacted an American school. I had not received a scholarship from an American university for three and a half years. I think God is so unfair to me. I am a very good man. Why have I suffered so much suffering and despair? But later I found that the reason why I had experienced so many twists and turns was that I could not go to the United States at last, because a New Oriental School was waiting for me. Maybe New Oriental will disappear tomorrow, maybe New Oriental will disappear at last, but I think the spirit of New Oriental will not disappear, and my motivation to keep moving forward will not disappear. As long as Yu Minhong is still there, as long as my heart is still there, as long as I want to do things with courage, I believe we will be able to recreate another New Oriental, or rename it as the new West. With this feeling, we can create a bigger business. If all of us are unemployed, we can unite again to create a new glory. If we no longer run a school, we can run another New Oriental grocery store. Maybe it will eventually become the world's largest chain store like Walmart. The key is that you should have the heart to do that thing, instead of mad at the gains and losses. If you have such a mentality, you know that there is a bigger goal behind every loss, there are more tests, and there are too many things to be done in your life, you will no longer feel pain for what you lose.

(This article is excerpted from Yu Minhong's speech to all employees and published by the maintenance personnel of the New Oriental blog)