Famous saying about computers

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."-Pablo Picasso

Computers are useless. The only thing they can do is to tell you the answer. -- Pablo Picasso

"Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax."-zarman Stern

Distributed File systems are a cruel scam. -- Zarman Stern

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other injection in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."-Mitch Ratcliffe

Among all the inventions ever made by humans-perhaps not including pistols or IMG-the computer is the fastest way to make mistakes. -- Mitch Ratcliffe

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."-Andy Rooney

Computers make many things easier, but most of them are not necessary. -- Andy Rooney

"Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions"-Laurent Gasser

Computers do not solve the problem. They only execute the solution. -- Laurent Gasser

"Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women."-Lord Kelvin

If the increase in costs is only a suspicious performance improvement, this situation can only be tolerated by horse racing and women. -- Lord Kelvin

"Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."-Seymore Cray (on Virtual Memory)

Memory is like orgasm. It will be better if you do not resort to fraud. -- Seymore Cray (virtual memory evaluation)

"Software Engineering is that part of computer science which is too difficult for the computer scientist."-F. L. Bauer

Software Engineering refers to the part that is too difficult for computer scientists in computer science. -- F. L. Bauer

"Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers"-Tom Lehrer

Octal is similar to decimal, if you lose two fingers. -- Tom Lehrer

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't ."
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary ."

There are 10 types of people in this world, some of which can understand binary, while others do not.
There are 10 types of people in this world, some of which can understand the triplicate system, some don't understand it, and some confuse it with binary.

"If you torture the data enough, it will confess"-Ronald Coase

If you torture the data to a certain extent, it will naturally confess. -- Ronald Coase

"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error"-weisert

As far as we know, our computer has not been detected. -- Weisert

"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a life time ."

If you give someone a program, you will torture him all day; if you teach someone how to write a program, you will torture him for a lifetime.

"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."-dick Brandon

A document is like a "sex". When it is good, it is amazing. When it is bad, It is messy. -- Dick Brandon

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."-Michael sinz

Programming is like "sex". A mistake can make you feel uneasy for a lifetime. -- Michael sinz

"Perfection is achieved not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing left to take away."-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

If there is no score, the value can be increased or not perfect. If there is no score, the value can be reduced. -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Stein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer."-Fred Brooks

Einstein often said that there must be a simple explanation of nature, because "God" cannot (should) be capricious or exclusive. Software engineers do not have the belief to comfort themselves. -- Fred Brooks

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."-Dave Platt

Managing a bunch of senior programmers is like grazing a group of cats. -- Dave Platt

"If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong."-norm schryer

If the code and comments are inconsistent, both of them may be wrong. -- Norm schryer

"If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan."-Alan J. Perlis

If your computer speaks English, it is probably made in Japan. -- Alan J. Perlis

"/* You are not expected to understand this */"-comment in the context-switching code of the V6 UNIX Kernel

This sentence is depressing, but it is still not translated. :) -- comment in the context switching code of V6 UNIX Kernel

"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance"-Robert R. coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory

The generation of random numbers is too important to be determined by chance. -- Robert R. coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory

"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable."-Ralph Johnson

You must use the software before it can be reused. -- Ralph Johnson

"To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer ."

People's mistakes may lead to errors, but computers are needed to create a real disaster.

"Error, keyboard not found-Press F1 to continue."-BIOS system message

Error. No keyboard found-Press F1 to continue. -- Bios System prompt information

"When all else fails, read the instructions."-L. iasellio

Read the instructions when there is no way to go. -- L. iasellio

"The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children."-Linus Torvalds

PowerPC memory management can be used to scare children. -- Linus Torvalds

"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."-Steve Wozniak

Never trust computers that you cannot throw out the window. -- Steve Wozniak

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. that's where we come in; we're re computer into sionals. we cause accidents. "-Nathaniel Borenstein

Many experts believe that the most likely cause of the destruction of the world is an accident. That's exactly what we are doing. We are computer professionals and we are creating accidents. -- Nathaniel Borenstein

"The disadvantage of working over networks is that you can't so easily go into someone else's office and rip their bloody heart out"-Jim McDonald

The disadvantage after introducing the network into my work is that it is far less convenient to walk into someone's office and peel and split his bones. -- Jim McDonald

"I have Ted it, Bill made it famous"-David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-alt-delete on the IBM PC)

I created it, and Bill made it famous-David Bradley (he wrote Ctrl-alt-Delete Code on IBM PC)

"UNIX is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are ."

UNIX is very friendly, but it is very selective when making friends.

"Welcome to dalnet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the teenage girls are undercover FBI agents !" -Dalnet IRC Welcome Message

Welcome to dalnet! Here, "male" are both male and "female" are also male impersonating, while "teenage girls" are all FBI spying! -- Welcome speech from dalnet IRC

Source: http://wikiquote.org/wiki/Computers