Harvard University Open Class "Positive Psychology 1504" study notes-perfection_schema

1 What is perfectionism?
1.1 Notes
1. There ' s no perfectionist, There ' s no one who's on the extreme, nor There ' s No. on the excellent extreme. The key is become happier.
2. Perfectionism is isn't about giving up ambition, not about giving up hard work, it's about having a different approach , a more rational and helpful approach towards the journey of my life, towards each step of the way–especially failure.
3. It ' s not about giving up success, it's not about giving up the conventional currency. But it ' s about also enjoying the ultimate currency more importantly.
4. If we avoid instead of coping, it would affect our self esteem, our confidence, our resilience, our happiness in the Long term.
5. Learn to fail or fail to Learn, there's no other way, no other way to grow, no other way to Learn, no other way to B Ecome more resilient, more successful and happier.
6. If you are want to increase your success rate, double your failure.
7. The most successful scientist and artist have also the failed.
8. Perfectionism is a incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas that we care ABO UT most.
9. A incapacitating fear of failure is the fear this is debilitating us, that stops us, which prevents us from coping, From trying, from putting ourselves to the line.
It is a approach, a cognitive and emotional schemas that we hold toward the journey of my our lives, toward the Proces S of getting from point A to point B.
The emphasis are on the journey. A person committed to excellence can still is as ambitious or more ambitious than a perfectionist. The difference between the two is just the approach towards.
1.2 Reflection
In the face of things they care about, usually strive for perfection, fear of failure. However, many times, but also because of this striving to perfect the mentality, let oneself bear more pressure, will also ignore in the process of happiness. Not to say that you do not need to succeed or not, but that in the process of hard work, do not be afraid of failure, but in the process of constantly trying to learn, and thus towards success.
2 characteristics
The characteristics of perfectionism versus excellence:
Perfection Excellence

Defensive Open to suggestions
Half Empty Half Full
Over generalize realistic
No self-acceptance Unconditional Acceptance
Static Dynamic
Fear of failure failure as feedback
Focus on destination journey and destination

3 Consequences
The consequences of perfectionism versus excellence:
Perfection Excellence

Temporary Relief lasting satisfaction
Inevitable failure possibility of Success
Wastes time Appropriate time allocation
Prone to disorders healthy approach
Hurts self-esteem continuous improvement
Harms relationships allows for growth
Anxiety/stress Creative Tension
Performance? Less Pain more Gain

4 Success and happiness
Need to ask yourself now: "What kinds of the life do I want for myself?"
The person committed to excellence dose is not give up ambitious, he can also enjoy the journey day.
One of the way to have more luck in our lives are to try new things, little things, for example, take a different PA Th, these slight devitations from a straight narrow actually leads to higher possibility to luck, because "we begin to" t Hings that we haven ' t seen before.
20% of our time, we can get 80% of our work do.

5 Sources of Perfectionism
The most important one is conditioning. As we ware reinforced by this what matters is the destination. When we are certain destination, such as getting a at the end of of  It ' s The destination that ' s rewarded. While the journey goes unrewarded. And after a while, we begin to internalize the this schema.
Connected to the permission of human. Instead of permission to is human, there is pressure to be perfect.
Not all praise is good. Praise a child no matter what it's may create the perfectionism schema.
Essentially what happens when your focus is on the intelligence, on how smart you are, and are creating the PERFEC Tionist schema, as opposed to the schema of that focuses on the journey, effort, hard work.
It's The fixed mindsets, versus the malleable, changing, ongoing, developing mindset.
One–there is fear of failure, cause I want to be smart. It ' s fun being called smart and intelligent. I don ' t want to threaten this schema.versua working hard and focusing on the journey.



6 Overcoming Perfectionism
6.1 Overcoming perfectionism
A, it's about self-awareness, it's about understanding. When you can to improve something, the the ' the ' the ' a ' is awareness. For example, is aware of defensiveness, and begin to work on it.
The second step is on a reward effort. Reward we journey, no matter it is success or failure.
-Active acceptance. The key is in to accept this perfectionism is always a part of one's life and then to say: "What do I did now."
The It ' s about then taking action. For example, where I received negative feedback, I literally held myself from pouncing back.  And slowly I got used to it, and I became less defensive. We go ahead and change it by introducing behavior.
I can imagine myself, myself, acting as a person committed to excellence. Have meditation, cause it puts us in a and mind of calm, of acceptance, a state of being, as apposed to a Ing. And when we are are in a state of being, we are here.
Goal could often be liberating.
Don't do unto yourself what, you don't do unto others. Or do undo yourself what your do unto others.
6.2 How did we help the other people with perfectionism?
Leads by example.
Tell stories about it.
Rewarding the journey.
6.3 Applying the 3Ps (Permission, Positive, perspective)
The ' the ' the ' the ' Permission to be human. So if I experience a difficult experience, the the ' a ' to give myself the ' permission to be ' human, and that would me An accepting of the "emotion", accepting that ' s difficult, accepting the reality.
The second P is reframing, interpreting the situation as Positive. What is the growth opportunity here? When a negative thought comes up, or a negative feeling comes up, distract ourselves from it, for example, going for a run , talking with someone either about this or something else.
Finally, the third P is about taking perspective. Is this really gonna matter? Not sweating the small stuff.  Are it worth my worrying, and fretting, and being depressed and upset and anxious about what now?  Is it the going to matter in a year? Or in a grand schema of things, space, are this really important?
Psychological maturity is about the ability to willingly shift perspective.
Permission to be human–acceptance. Focusing on the positive–benefit finding. And finally, the ability to shift Perspective–when does I want to zoom out and ask this ' do I need to sweat over it now? '
The 3P is more like a pill, that's you need to take on a regular basis, meaning if you are going a through Time, apply the 3Ps.