[Funny] new investors

Source: Internet
Author: User
Xiao Xingang opened an account and came to the stock market.
I bought a Securities News at the door, and someone said, "Hey! New investors! "
Xiao xinleng: "How do you know? "
The man said, "The newspapers are fake except for the date. How can the regular investors buy them! "

John entered the hall, and there were already many people. He stood behind and watched the computer. Someone said to him, "Hello! New investors! "
"How do you know? "
"The Old stockholders have come to occupy the machine early. Why are you so late! "As soon as xiaoxin heard it, he sat down and looked at the big screen. someone next to him said," new investors! "
Xiaoxin paused again: "How do you know? "
"The old stockholders are playing poker. How can they watch stocks! "
Look, no. Few people look at the screen. At noon, xiaoxin bought a lunch box and said, "Oh... new investors! "
"How do you know !? "
"Old investors who have bought lunch boxes all go home after ".
Xiaoxin felt that he had been talking about the new stockholders for a long morning. He was a little annoyed and made up his mind that he must be studious and strive to become an old shareholder as soon as possible. After dinner, he saw a bunch of people chatting about the stock. Then he went over and listened. After a while, someone patted him: "Hello! New investors! "
"How do you know !!?? "
"Why did the old stockholders not speak for 10 minutes! "
Xiaoxin nodded and did not speak. In the afternoon, Mr. Smith decided to buy a stock. He saw that he was named Shenhua holdings. He had more than 8 yuan in the last month, but now he had more than 4 yuan. He just wanted to buy it. Someone on the side: "Hey! New investors! "
"How do you know !!!? ?? "
"Where can the old stockholders buy the permission-removing stock! "Xiaoxin bit his teeth and stopped his hand and didn't buy it. He thought, he couldn't let others see that I was a new investor.
The market is almost closed, and xiaoxin finally decided to buy a stock. He bought 100 million shares and 600839 million.
The man said, "Hey! New investors! "
"How do you know !?!?!? "
"Where can the old stockholders buy Changhong! "
I regret it! After the close, there was a stock evaluation in the sales department, and xiaoxin listened carefully. Some people said, "Hey! New investors! "
"How do you know !!!!! "
"Old investors have heard of stock reviews. "John went out and was blocked." Yo! New investors! "
"How do you know !!!!! "
"Old investors can leave without having to go to the toilet after collecting their disks! "Xiao Xin came out from the sales department and took a bicycle and wanted to go home. He said," Hey! New investors! "
"How do you know !!! !!!!!! "
"When the old investors close, they will go home. They all make fun at the door of the sales department. If the old investors have cars, they will all go to the corridor! "
Xiaoxin fainted ......
After xiaoxin fainted ...... I just opened my eyes and found a lady holding him. I just wanted to say "Thank you! ", Aunt said with a mother-in-law smile:" Children, new investors? "
Xiao xin was shocked. "How do you know? Didn't you fall in the wrong position just now ???? "
Aunt handed the magnetic card, code card, and ID card that fell to the ground when she just fainted: "Be careful, kid. How can the old stockholders put these three cards together? "
...... Just a few steps away, a beggar stretched his hand to ask for money.
From being careful, xiaoxin is very kind and gives all the change in his pocket to beggars. The face of the beggars is a strange smile. "Good Guys, are you a new investor? "
Xiaoxin began to sweat, and his heart muttered "! Beggars all know ??? "
"How do you know !! !!...... Too few? "
The beggar was afraid that he would have to pay back the money again. He hurriedly said, "It's not short for me to ask for money at the door. The regular investors usually give me eight cents, one dollar and six dollars, what you gave me?

One by four, the old stockholders do not like this number ...... "

Xiaoxin was completely dizzy and did not dare to ride a bicycle, so he had to push back. An old man looked back at him for a moment. "Young man, new investors? "
Xiaoxin only felt as though he was walking naked in the street, so he could not help himself, because he was an elder and had a bad attack. The old man smiled and said, "How can the old stockholders wear green clothes to visit the securities department?

Look, a bear is printed on your notebook !! "
Xiao Xin looked at the old man carefully. Oh, they were wearing a big red T-shirt and printed on their chest were the well-known team logo of the zhijia Ge bulls! The old man looked down at xin and looked around.
I told him mysteriously, "tell you, my underpants are all worn with cotton red cloth, breathable and wearable, And I'm lucky ...... "Xiaoxin finally returned to the door in a dark manner, but he saw a red monk who was turning to his wife, Cui Hua." When you are in the house, come back? "Xiaoxin nodded weakly. When the monk saw him like this, his hands folded together:" Amitabha, this donor is a new investor ?...... "Xiaoxin fell to the ground again ......
According to my new neighbor, I slept at home for three days ......
And when I heard the TV show, "everyone on Earth knows that ...... "The advertisement will vomit, as to whether it is" I am used to spitting out ", I am not clear yet. Tom slept for three days. Today he came to the stock market again.
I did not look at the dashboard as soon as I entered it. I directly bought two stocks. A guy next to me smiled and asked, "Are new investors ?! "
Xiaoxin's face fell, but the buddy smiled and said, "all the investors are selling. Only you are buying it. Didn't you watch the economic channel yesterday? What did Rogers say ?! "...... The city closed in the afternoon, xiaoxin looked at the two cities that had fallen so confused that his eyes collapsed in a chair. Then a group of people came and asked," Are new investors? "
Xiao xinqi weak yousi: "Why do I say I am a new investor? "
"The old stockholders are used to compensation. This is only true for the new stockholders ".
Xiaoxin immediately sprayed several dozen or two pieces of blood.

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