Good prescription for procrastination-for those who pursue perfection, have poor self-control, and are emotional

After everyone went to college, I began to suffer from delays. There are countless goals, but they are often lacking in motivation. They often browse various novels and posts on the Internet or play boring online games, but do not want to touch professional books or documents, even a few days after deadline, only a little time before deadline will start learning tasks with a sense of urgency. In this way, my studies are very sloppy, but I am getting farther and farther away from my own ideals. In short, it is impossible to make progress completely, and unwilling to fall completely.

The foundation of delay is actually a high or unrealistic expectation for itself.
If the task is completed by walking through a thick wooden board with a width of 10 meters, then almost everyone can walk through it easily when it is put on the ground. But the high expectation for the results is like setting the Panel to a place with two tall buildings and ten floors, so we are afraid to fall down, that is, fear of failure or fear of success (for example, I sometimes secretly hope that the experiment will not succeed, so that I don't have to deal with subsequent experiments with greater intensity, which is actually a variant of fear of failure ), so we did not even dare to take the next step. And deadline is the fire behind us. When it is close enough to us, the fear of being burned overcomes the fear of falling down, so we suddenly rushed over, the task was completed before deadline, although the quality was hard to say.

What's more terrible is that many people who are procrastinating (including myself) even enjoy the feeling of sudden relaxation after deadline, in addition, the delayed results are sometimes quite good (for example, when I write an experiment report for my undergraduate course, If I drag it to the end, I often write more comprehensively and better than I do first because I can discuss with others and refer to others' opinions ). In this case, I will praise myself for being "efficient ". At the same time, long
Even though I don't want to admit it, my subconscious does feel that it would be a shame if I spent a lot of time on average. So all this is a further prolonged delay-even if the result is not good, I can say that it is because I did not do my best. If I really work hard, the results will certainly be good (Psychological high self-esteem personality ).

However, we cannot force ourselves to walk through the boards by setting fire to them forever. In that case, we will always burn our own day. In addition, the depressing anxiety and dissatisfaction with ourselves are not pleasant. Therefore, the best way is to reduce the height of the Board-do not have too high requirements on your own results (such as scores), just do it seriously. Due to the limitations of our talents and other capabilities, even if we do our best, we may not be able to do as well as some outstanding figures. However, in most cases, the best results will be much better than we don't try, right?

This is a very interesting method in the post of Douban. The author dragged a paper for several months and was reluctant to write it. Her psychologist asked her not to care about the quality, write an article with the goal of the worst paper she can write as an experiment. The author took the photo and was surprised to find that the "worst" article she wrote was quite satisfactory to herself. I felt that I could give it to my tutor after making some modifications. Of course, sometimes the first draft is written
There is still a gap with the requirements of the paper. For example, 12 pages are required, but the first draft has only five pages. In this case, the author uses another method that the psychologist taught her: Working for one hour, the goal is to make the paper one more page, and the goal is also "worst. This method actually greatly reduces the psychological cost and burden of the procrastinator, which is equivalent to putting the "board" on the "ground. Try again.

The perfect tendency of people is perfectionist, which also plays a major role in delay. When
When I think of the lofty ideals of my childhood and hope to work hard for it, I think that I have wasted too much time, besides, others are not only much better than me now, but also possess better resources because of their own advantages. So even if I try my best, I cannot keep up with him, not to mention the lofty ideals, so we started to delay again.

In fact, this is like a marathon. You are falling behind by others for various reasons, so you begin to struggle with whether you need to run it, but do not try to run it, so it is pulled further. At this moment, you look at the distant end, and feel desperate, do not want to run down. At this time, if you don't want to go and think about other people, you just want to watch your feet run-"How about it? I ran this little tuqiu before
Said ." In this way, a small target runs with a small target, and eventually you will surely run to the finish line. At that time, you may find that you are not the slowest, or even very good. So, focus on the process of your efforts rather than the final result, if you have studied an experiment for one afternoon or carefully did an experiment instead of the or beautiful result of the final test, and praise yourself, you will find that it is not very difficult to complete the work.

In addition, focusing on the present is also a great concern for procrastinators. Focus on the present is not focused on the thoughts and emotions in your current mind, but on what you are doing or what you choose to do. Actually
People who are procrastinating are just too concerned about their moments. For example, if you feel unhappy, you have to relax and get online ...... Then the delay began. In fact, from a psychological point of view, focusing too much on your own moments is a kind of performance that doesn't know how to delay satisfaction, just as if a child wants a toy, it has to get it right away, this will greatly weaken one's self-control. Moreover, psychology experiments show that meeting your own emotional needs is not the best strategy. In the long term, it will reduce a person's self-satisfaction and happiness, rather than increasing, think about my guilt and anxiety after I have delayed my work for fun and leisure.

In this regard, I personally think that the concept of sentian therapy is very suitable. Specifically, it is to ignore the mood fluctuations that disturb you
For example, say to yourself: "If you want to be depressed, you will be depressed, No matter you are ." And then ignore it.) Let it go and focus on what you want to do. Just like a small stone that is put into the lake, it will make a circle of Ripple. If you ignore it, the lake will eventually calm down. If you pay too much attention to the small stone and try to get it out, on the contrary, it will arouse greater waves and make the lake calm. The author of Douban's post provides a method that I think is also very useful: to take things you want to do at the time (such as surfing the Internet, playing games, watching movies, watching novels, etc) write down and tell yourself to do those things after you finish your work. Then, concentrate on the work and wait until the work is over before you write down the things.

In addition, Do not worry too much about the future is also a focus on the current aspect. This is easy to understand and I will not go into details here.

At the same time, you do not have to escape from unpleasant events or dissatisfaction with your past behaviors. However, face-to-face and accept are not just laissez-faire, but instead they are no longer immersed in self-blame, pain, and other negative emotions. They can objectively and better understand the current situation and make plans for the future. This can be linked with the aforementioned "marathon" example. You can only face and accept the fact that you are lagging behind others.
It will be entangled in the idea of "I think the first thing, but it lags behind so many others." In this way, we can continue to work on the basis of reality.

In addition, when reading a book (of course there are other times ), many people often see the "Fly independently" experience of "having read several pages but don't know what to talk about. In this regard, it is very beneficial to develop a habit of discovering new things and look at the world like a newborn baby. Regardless of the environment, always pay attention to the changes in those familiar things, such as reading a book, you can pay attention to the differences and connections between the two mentioned in this book and what I have known, and what is interesting, you can focus on the present without getting lost.

 

To overcome latency, follow the root cause and change your way of thinking. This is not easy, but not impossible. To change the way of thinking, especially the subconscious, the most important thing is to change the way of self-conversation. Below are some self-Conversation Tips (the self-conversation method to be discarded in parentheses ):

1. I select/I want ...... (Vs. I must/I must ......)

2. I can take a small step every time for this task (vs. This task is too big)

3. I want to start today ...... (Vs. I have to finish today ......)

4. I can also be ordinary people (vs. I must be perfect/outstanding)

5. Rest and entertainment are part of my normal life)

 

I think most people with delays may not be serious yet, but they are also more or less influenced by it, affecting their pursuit of their ideals. It is not easy to overcome a problem. You need to give yourself a lot of support and encouragement. There may be a lot of repetition during this period. But as long as our general direction is good, we should be sure of ourselves.

"I realized the reality of being cruel (this word is too deep, but I can't think of anything better), and I also saw the bright future and hope ." This is my attitude towards life.

I would like to share this article with you. Pai_^