[Hacker News] No, I won't download your shit.

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No, I'm not going to download your bullshit app

How we used to read the news, back in the era of the Web:

1. Go to newspaper website.
2. Click on story.
3. Read.

How we read news in the era of fucking stupid pointless iPhone apps.

1. Go to website.
2. Be told you aren't allowed to read the website.
3. Be redirected to an app store.
4. Download the app.
5. Wait while a multi-megabyte file downloads over your temperamental, expensive 3G connection.
6. Open the app up.
7. Familiarise yourself with an interface that has cryptic, weird touch affordances that aren't actually revealed to the user and behave ever so slightly differently from every other similar app.
8. Struggle as the badly-implemented statefulness gives you a spinning loading wheel (on iOS) or flashing progress bar (on Android) because you had the audacity to use your mobile device on a slow or unreliable connection.
9. Attempt to find the story you wanted to read using a layout and information architecture that's completely different from the layout and information architecture of the website that you 've grown familiar with, because some
   Arsehole decided that the process of reading the electronic equivalent of a newspaper needs to be "disrupted" because he's been reading far too much Seth Godin or some other bullshit.
10. Realise that the app shows you different things depending on whether it's in landscape or portrait mode. now you can look like an utter nob on the Tube rotating your iPad around so that you can zoom further into the page
    3 stunna's tits.
11. Not be able to share the story with your friends because it's not a page on the web with a uniform resource indicator. because why do you need uniform resource indicators when you 've got Shiny smooth buttons on a phone?
12. Take time to download updated binary files the next time the application is updated in the App Store, that'll provide you "new functionality ", even though there is no fucking functionality you actually want other than reading
    The fucking news.
13. If you are on Android, be sure to install some anti-adware software in case the app comes with some delightful bit of creepy privacy-intruding out-of-app advertising.
14. Give up, go to newsagent, buy paper edition, throw smartphone off a fucking cliff and start a letterbomb campaign against all the idiots who thought that turning newspapers into "apps" was a good idea.

In the "web. apps "war, I think you can infer which side I'm on. I wouldn't download a BBC app or an NPR app for my computer. why wocould I want one on my phone? Do I buy a separate radio to listen to different stations? No. The functionality is the same,
The only thing that differs is the content. Apps ought to provide some actual functionality, not just blobs of content wrapped up in binary files.

No, I won't download your shit.

In the Internet era, we are used to browsing news by the following steps:

1. log on to a news website.

2. Click an article you are interested in.

3. Start reading.

However, if you want to browse the news on the iPhone software, you need to complete the following steps:

1. log on to a website.

2. I was told that you do not have the right to browse news on this website.

3. redirected to an app store.

4. download the application.

5. Download a few megabytes of installation file on your unstable and expensive 3G network.

6. Open the application.

7. You need to familiarize yourself with the vague and strange touch functions as soon as possible, although they are only slightly different from other similar software.

8. You will struggle to wait for the rotating loading wheel (on iOS) or the flashing progress bar (on Android), because your mobile devices are connected to a slow and unstable network.

9. You need to find the news you are interested in on this layout completely different from the previous interface you are familiar, this is just because the people who have read the Seth Godin or other articles come to the conclusion that the reading experience of electronic devices should be completely different from that of newspapers ".

10. You will realize that the different things the app presents to you depend on their image display mode. Now, you can turn the article to the third page by rotating your iPad, just like the big guys on TV.

11. You will not be able to share these good news with your friends because they are not a Web page with unified resource metrics.

12. Whenever a new version of this application is released in the App Store, you need to spend time downloading updates. Although these new versions will update some new features, your TMD simply doesn't care about these so-called shit new features. You just want to read the news.

13. If your device is Android, you need to install some anti-advertising software, because these applications may have advertisements that can intrude your privacy.

14. You will crash and give up e-news. Instead, you will go to the newsstand to buy paper-based newspapers. You will drop your cell phone down the cliff, then launch a campaign against those who think it is a good idea to read the news in the application.

In this war of Web and apps, you think you should be able to easily deduce my position. I will not download applications like BBC or NPR on my computer. So why do I need to install these on my mobile phone? Will I buy a separate radio to listen to different radio stations? No. The functions of these things are the same, and the only difference is their content. Applications should provide some practical and useful functions, rather than putting something that is useless in their installation files.

--------------- By ------- zerocool --------- February 6, 2013 22:57:04