Haizi's 20-year sacrifice: more than a dozen friends and family members recall the most authentic Haizi Image

 Having gone for 20 years

20 years ago, in March 26, Haizi committed suicide in the mountain customs system, "completed his purest life speech and the last great poem ".

Within two or three years after HaiZi's death, many people imitated his writing and once formed a small trend of "Xinxiang Tutu Poetry. The death of Haizi also led to the suicide of some young poets.

In the past 20 years, apart from a few people, some of the former "best poets" have been screenwriters, some have been booksellers, and some have been doing business in the sea. In short, they have rarely written poems. Some people say that the golden age of poetry has passed, and the poet has grown old in the history of time.

As a result, the death of the sea son is the demarcation line, and 1989 is regarded as the pillar of poetry.

　　Now, what about the poets?

The last spring of Haizi

20 years ago, Haizi had to say goodbye to the world in a highly ceremonial manner and had suffered the fate of being interpreted or misunderstood. This reporter visited his family, classmates, colleagues, and friends in Beijing, Anhui, and Shanghai along the final trajectory of his life, trying to regain the memory fragments in their minds, pieces together the most authentic image of Haizi, providing us with a factual foundation for us to understand the Haizi and the poetry age.

REPORTER/Zhang Lu (from Anhui and Beijing)

"Are you still a man ?"

In the home of Anqing City, Shen Tianhong, Anhui poet, looked at the Sea child sitting opposite the wine table. His fellow villagers looked at him with a slight sigh of relief and changed his topic.

That night, Haizi drank nearly a bottle of liquor of 50 degrees. Haizi talked about all kinds of bad luck with pleasure:

"Beijing's (poetry) circle is very strict, and it's hard to get in !" In some Poetry Gathering occasions, except for a good friend and Luo Yihe, editor of The October magazine, nobody cares about him, which makes him feel "unprecedented shame ".

There were also cold encounters when I went to Sichuan. Haizi went to Sichuan to look for Zhiyin with his own strong intent-a long poem of up to lines. However, he was criticized by Sichuan poets and "cannot talk to them ". Haizi complained that Shang Zhongmin, his poet and friend in Sichuan, publicly published an article with severe wording. "How do people like this ?"

"He is not as uncomfortable as the average person. A few days has passed and he will keep talking ." Two decades later, sitting on the sofa in the living room, Shen Tianhong told the China News Weekly reporter that he was facing endless complaints from Haizi, "he just wanted to stimulate him, he is too sensitive and fragile ".

This is the first year of the Lunar New Year in 1989. Haizi came to Anqing to visit his hometown in huaining county one hour away from his journey. At the end of February or the beginning of March, Hai Zi, who returned to Beijing, sent a letter to him. There were no punctuation marks in the full text. There were only six words in the text: "I am still alive ."

　　I

Cha zhengquan's family had a very busy spring festival in 1989. Because the second son, Cha Shuming, required a large amount of tuition for his second re-reading, opened a tofu shop in the previous year. during the Chinese New Year, it was just a good business. Besides the eldest son, Cha Haisheng, who had returned from Beijing for the winter vacation, the whole family is busy in a store close to the street.

Haizi, formerly known as Cha Haisheng, was born in chawan village, Gaohe town, huaining County, Anhui Province in March 26, 1964. He is the eldest son of Cha Jia.

As a legend of Cha jiawan, the 4-year-old man was able to recite more than 50 pieces of "quotations from Chairman Mao" without a teacher. At the age of 15, he was admitted to Peking University's junior college students with a high score, enjoy the privileges brought about by the identity of "city people" without working. He took a dummies camera, took photos of busy parents and three younger siblings, and joked to name the industry at home. "Unfortunately, you are male, otherwise, this store can be called 'tofu sishi '. Otherwise, when the store grows bigger, it will be called 'Global tofu Store '".

At home for the Chinese New Year, Haizi and his 3-year-old Cha Shumin slept in a bed. Because of his recent age, he was the one with the most conversations with Haizi among the three younger siblings. In 1988, Haizi spent 500 yuan to buy a 14-inch black and white TV set named "xingyu" for his family. The brothers had limited evening entertainment-during the day, they could also turn on the radio to listen to comments like Yue Fei Chuan, but in the evening, my father had to work as a tailor, and he had no choice but to chat on the radio.

Cha Shuming once saw the manuscript of his brother's long poem "but water and water". He wanted to publish it at the time. He did not understand it at the time and advised his brother to write martial arts novels, let's write some books. Haizi just smiled and said, "Writing martial arts is very simple. Anyone can write history and literary talents." He has read novels from Liang, Jin, and Gu and is very interested in martial arts, "Liang Yusheng understands some martial arts routines. If Gu Long does not talk about this, he will be killed ".

Haizi did practice qigong. As early as the Chinese New Year in 1986, he sat cross-legged in bed and performed "power" for his younger brother: His hands were separated by 50 or 60 centimeters, letting Cha Shuming put his hand in the middle. Today, he still remembers that he can feel the burning sensation ".

At this time, Haizi looked a little full of ambition. during the Spring Festival of 1986, Cha Shumin saw a picture of his brother and girlfriend. He accidentally saw that in his love letter to this girl in Inner Mongolia, like any young man who falls into the first love, his brother agreed with his girlfriend to pray for their love.

From March 13, 1987, he noticed that his brother started drinking alcohol every year when he went home for the Chinese New Year. In the last stage of his life, wine clearly occupies an important position in his life. Saichuan recalled that after HaiZi's death, he went to clean up the relics of Haizi and opened the door. There was a pile of wine bottles behind the door.

In his last spring festival, Haizi drank with several cousins at his uncle's house and talked about an unfair situation he encountered during his internship at the Shijiazhuang Intermediate People's Court: It was a divorce case where the male was derailed, however, my wife does not agree to divorce. According to the previous cases, the divorce cannot be ruled out, but the male's background is extraordinary, and the Court still decides to leave.

Haizi was not satisfied and he clamored to submit the case. This time he apparently drank too much. When I got home, I fell into bed, and checked Shu Ming and muttered, "Don't drink less ". He got up from the bed and tried to beat him. He almost lost the TV set he had bought for only one year.

　　II

During the Spring Festival of 1989, Cha Shiming had less time to chat with his brother. At home, there are a lot of bean curd shops, and their family has to work almost every day until four o'clock AM. Of course, this kind of hard work brings a high economic return, and can earn more than 100 yuan a night, it is equivalent to the one-month salary that Haizi taught at China University of Political Science and Law.

In huaining County, some young people who drop out of school early in the village next door went to the South two years ago to get rich by selling soft pens. They can send 700 or 800 yuan back to their homes every month.

It is hard to say that this has not caused certain psychological fluctuations to the recognized elite in the village. In 1987, the second brother was facing a re-reading problem. When the third and fourth younger brothers went to school and needed the most money at home, Haizi once proposed with his father that he wanted to quit his role and go out for a break, I joined Peking University and ran a newspaper in Hainan, but was resolutely opposed by my father Cha zhengquan.

As parents and siblings are busy or sleep, Haizi maintains the pace of life as a bystander. He spent his day like this: he returned home at a.m., and he was still reading or writing. When his family went out to work in the morning, he slept until a.m. and got up with the paper, sitting at the door, thoughtful. Under his feet, there are often several pieces of waste paper.

My mother loves her son. "You are a college teacher. You don't have to work so hard ". Haizi just smiled.

This trip back to my hometown left Haizi with a bad feeling. After returning to Beijing, in March 11, he took a shuttle bus from the Changping campus of China University of Political Science and Law to westcheon, a city dozens of kilometers away. When talking about his return home, he said with emotion, "Some things you are familiar with can no longer be found. You have completely become a stranger in your hometown!"

In his description of Xichuan, there was a kind of poetic sadness in his hometown in 1989: "When people in your city see the wheat waves rolling in the countryside, they must really feel the countryside after the wheat is cut, when you stand on the ground, when the sky is dark, you will feel that the Earth is desolate."

Before that, or a few days later, Haizi came to the editorial department of the poetry magazine in Beijing and found his friend and edited Wang jiaxin to describe one of his findings: darkness rose from the valley in the evening, not elsewhere.

When talking about the image that Haizi has repeatedly said, the west Sichuan region will be excited, because 15 days after this conversation, there was a message about HaiZi's suicide.

　　Related Links:

Special Subject: 20-Year Festival of Haizi: When will poetry Bloom?

Books: the complete set of Haizi Poems

Hai zichuan