Handle customer complaints with overlord Logic

Source: Internet
Author: User

China Mobile is a very creative enterprise. Because of its unchangeable monopoly, the fees it charges to customers are subject. If the customer is dissatisfied, the customer will complain to mobile. Mobile will accept the complaint enthusiastically and then use overlord logic to handle the complaint.

I log on to my mobile website every month and check my monthly phone bills by myself. In the past six months, I have always found a GPRS charge. I used to pay a few cents a month. Because of the one-click Internet access function of 585 in, I will cancel it immediately due to misoperations. In this process, it is inevitable to generate a certain amount of money, so I can easily convince myself not to complain.

In recent months, it has been found that the GPRS fee on the bill is getting more and more expensive, from a few cents to a few cents, and then rose to a few dollars. This month is even worse. September 10 It is found that the GPRS fee exceeds the total amount of the entire month last month. The increase in pork is also gradual. How does GPRS increase at will?

I checked the details carefully. I found it very strange that I had to go online several times for lunch, and I had to go online for 1 hour. This is amazing. during lunch time, I never bring a cell phone. My cell phone is quietly lying in the drawer of the Office and the drawer is locked. Is there a high intelligence that will automatically access the Internet during lunch hours in 585? What's more, every time it takes an hour?

As a result, I called mobile phone complaints last Thursday and the customer service received me with great enthusiasm. I did not raise any doubts about my complaint, And I normally accepted the complaint, and told me to handle it within 48 hours. I'm glad to take it for granted that mobile will solve this problem after I find it clear.

On Saturday afternoon, I had a party with my friends and moved two phone calls. I didn't hear that. When I went home in the evening and found two missed calls, I took the initiative to call 10086. The customer service checked and told me that the complaint had been completed because I had not been contacted for many times. If I still want to complain, he will re-register. Of course, I still want to complain. Customer Service told me that I will be contacted within 24 hours. I was a little upset when I hung up the phone. First, if two phone calls are not answered, how many contact failures can be considered? Mobile has high requirements on customers !!! Why don't I ask myself for this standard? Second, since I was not contacted, why? Do you need to confirm with the customer?

There is no mobile phone number for every day on Sunday.

This morning, I made another 10086 million bid and expressed my anger. The customer service rerecorded my complaint. At the same time, he told me that he did not handle the problem because he had failed to contact me multiple times. I'm so angry that I don't have a phone call on Sunday. How did they determine whether there were unsuccessful connections? By illusion?

I just received a call from 10086 and told me that the handling result was correct. The processing result is as follows. According to the mobile system query, the charges are correct. I fainted?

I asked Customer Service: How can I find out that the charges are correct?

Customer Service said: according to the system query, it is correct to have a detailed ticket record. You can also go to a mobile website to check your website.

I said: Of course, I found this problem only after seeing the details, and then complained. Otherwise, what do I complain about?

The customer service said: We found that the charges are correct and there are indeed records.

I said: What is the record?

Customer Service said: You can also find it online.

I said: What do you need to verify the record? I saw it myself. Besides, I complained because I saw it. What evidence are you looking? The evidence you provided is what I saw.

The customer service said: That's no way. I didn't have the final say. It was discovered by the system.

I said: you convinced me to accept the problem I found and treat it as a result. So what else do you accept my complaint? You told me not to complain. We have the final say. What we say is what we say?

The customer service said: I did not have the say, it was discovered by our company's system.

(Well, This mentally retarded child probably thinks that I am targeting him, or that I am too unmoved. Which of the following customers should listen to this mentally retarded explanation ???)

I said: What method do you use to convince me that your system is correct?

Customer Service said: we have also received complaints from many customers, saying that we have not accessed the Internet, but there are GPRS charges. Some customers have a one-click Internet access function on their mobile phones, but they do not know it, or their mobile phones are used by others. Is your mobile phone used by yourself?

I said: Nonsense. Did you use your cell phone to someone else?

The customer service said: That's no way. I found it right here.

I said: How do you handle complaints from other customers? Find out, you are right, and then pass? What else do we need to complain about? Tell the customer directly, don't complain, and the complaint is useless. The system is ours. What we say is what it is.

After that, I hung up. The customer service obviously couldn't convince me, but it had to go into an endless loop.

I don't need to use my cell phone to access the Internet, because I don't know what websites I can see or what information I can see. What do I do if I have a computer and I want to use my mobile phone to access the Internet? I know that. However, mobile requires me to prove that I have not been connected to the Internet.

This logic of mobile is so cool !!! No flaws.

Customers from mobileSystemCheck the phone billDetailsA, ThinkDetailsAIf you have any questions, ask mobile. After mobile receives the complaintSystemI checked it and called it out.DetailsA. Then, call the customer to tell him that there is no problem. The customer asked why there is no problem. Mobile said: Because I foundDetailsA, Responding to youDetailsAIs the same, so it is correct.

Details A = details A. This logic is really seamless !!!

Is there any cooler logic in the world than 1 = 1, 2 = 2, 3 = 3? What can customers do in addition to fainting with this logic ???

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