How to adjust your mindset (I)

I believe everyone knows about time management and has read many GTD books. They plan a lot of projects in Meimei and prepare for a big competition. I believe that many people have found a lot of resistance in practice, so it is difficult for you to find it in the book. There are many factors that impede your goals: some are incorrect interpersonal communication and different opinions; others are disturbed by external emotions, and you become passive, and then forget your goals; some of them are because of their internal anxiety, so that they are always entangled in this small thing, that small thing, wasted their time ...... And so on. So how can we solve these problems, such as getting along with people, external interference, and internal noises?

Here, I would like to share some experiences and describe them:How can I adjust my mindset and control my emotions so that I can concentrate on achieving my goals.So this is the internal skill you must learn before you start time management. Otherwise, if your internal emotions cannot be well controlled, it is easy to get out of control. So I want to tell a few stories to inspire everyone's way of thinking. Maybe one of these stories will touch you.

• The story of three seasons

It was said that one person came to the place where Confucius taught. I saw a young man cleaning the courtyard at the door of the courtyard. He then asked, "Are you a student of Confucius ?"

The young man proudly replied, "Yes. What do you mean ?"

"I heard that Confucius is a famous teacher, so you must be a master, right ?"

"Shame ."

"I 'd like to ask you a question. Do you have any idea ?"

"Yes ."

"However, I have a condition. If you are right, I will give you three heads; if you are wrong, you should give me three heads ."

The young man secretly thought that the kick-off shop had arrived. For the teacher's reputation, he replied cheerfully: "Good ."

"In fact, my problem is very simple. How many seasons are there in a year ?"

"Four Seasons !" The young man blurts out without thinking.

"No, only three seasons a year !"

"Four Seasons !!"

"Three seasons !!"

"Four Seasons !!!" Young people are justified.

"Three seasons !!!" People do not show weakness.

During the debate, Confucius came out of the hospital, and the young people seemed to have met the rescue star. They came forward to explain the original Committee and asked Confucius to review. I thought, how did you step down?

Unexpectedly, Confucius said to his students: "There are only three seasons in a year. You have lost. Let's hit people ."

People clap their hands and laugh: "it's time to hit three !"

The young man is blinded. But if the teacher says so, he will lose. As a last resort, I had to go forward to the audience and hit three people. People can see this and laugh.

After the person leaves, the young man is busy asking the Teacher: "This is different from what you taught, and there are indeed four seasons in a year, teacher !"

"You are not convinced that you are stupid. I teach you now: this person is green. When I argue with you, I agree that there are only three seasons in a year. He is clearly a grasshopper. The grasshopper, born in spring and dead in autumn, has only been in spring, summer, and autumn, and has never seen winter, so in his mind, there is no 'Winter 'concept at all. If you compete with such a person for three days or three nights, there will be no result. If you don't follow him, can he go so fast? Although you have been an expert, you have learned how to behave.."

After that, the younger brother immediately understood.

Original article: Chao, zzigong, and kepan, asked: "husband ?" Said: "Mr. He laau ?" Said: "When you ask ." Zigong: "Zhiyou ." Ke Yue: "What is the season of the year ?" Smile: "four seasons are also true ." Ke Yue: "three seasons ." The discussion is not limited. When the son heard the sound, the son Gong asked, and the husband did not answer the question at the beginning. Then he said, "three seasons are also true ." Kile and happy, laugh and quit. When Zi Gong asked, Zi Yue: "Four Seasons also ." Zigong is a different color. Zi Yue: "This is not the time when the customer was born in the spring and died in the autumn. Why do you see winter? ." Zigong thought it was.

So when you find yourself arguing with others, you have to seriously consider whether you and the other party are in the same cognitive scope, otherwise, when the cognitive scope of two people is different, it is easy to make a big noise for a small thing. Even if you win, you can come back and think about it yourself, is it worthwhile to invest and return money. If you want to spend less than a dime for a half-day vacation, you need to pay less for a few bucks. Remember to give it to your mother. Is it necessary to win a fight to win the other party?

Therefore, in the past, I had to compete with others for a small thing. Now my mind is much better, because when the other party is excited, I can control my own emotions. This is an improvement, I don't think it's necessary for me to get out of control for this small thing. I believe that when you think of the story "three seasons", you will be calm and understand this truth, wouldn't you be able to spend less time worrying about it and more than 10 years?

Of course, if you find that your friends have blind spots, and if you can guide him well and let him discover his problems, it is also very good; however, if it doesn't work, you can stop it. You don't have to spend more energy on your own. What if you think of a mistake that is not too principled. If you are more serious and firmly defend your own principles to forcibly modify the cognitive view of the other party, then I believe it is best not to do this, because on the surface, you want to do this for the other party, but it is actually a kind of harm to the other party.

So now let's look back at this sentence again: "My wife is always right. If it is wrong, refer to the previous one ". Before I fell in love, I thought this clause was overbearing. Is it female! Too much, the wife clearly makes it difficult for her husband to do anything wrong. Now let's think about the truth. Why? Because if you were living with your wife, if she had done something wrong, would you have been arguing with her for a long time? What should I do if I understand this truth and let the other party do?

• Why are people not pleasing to the eye

I believe everyone has heard of the following sentence: "I don't think anyone is pleasing to the eye." Everyone who has read inspirational books knows: "It means you have not practiced well ", so how can we explain this sentence?

In fact, the root reason why people are not pleasing to the eye isYou cannot leave him/herIf you have the ability to leave a person who is not pleasing to the eye, why are you always abusing yourself? So stop complaining and focus on your own abilities, will anyone see it soon?
"What is in your mind and what is in the outside world?" I believe that people who have learned the "attraction" rule are familiar with this field.

• Peace of mind

Many people are angry and cannot easily control their emotions. Many people suspect that they often put things in internal consumption. Many people are crazy, and the more people they are, the better they are, the better they are, you will feel an inner emptiness. There are also a lot of people who are delicate in the inner world, and then there is always a kind of disease-free moaning, Fallen flowers and sorrows, and the inner's eyebrows.

One person is happy and happy. One is inSeeking happiness from the outsideIn this way, you will be very happy; the other isMake yourself happyFrom the heart of Peace, peace, is the final reflection of the heart become powerful. Therefore, when you look at the kind old man and smart elders, you will feel like this: "Your heart is like water", "You are not happy with things, you are not sad with yourself.

Because only in this way will you not be disturbed by everything from the outside world, focusing on what you want to do and all irrelevant information from the outside world, will be consciously filtered out by you.

• Control your emotions

I believe there are many people who are easily influenced by irrelevant external things. As the outside world is happy, they are happy, and the outside world is experiencing bad things, I am so angry that I cannot eat well or sleep well, affect my work and study, or disrupt my target direction.

My personal suggestion and Experience Summary: It is to distinguish what is your own business, what is others' business, what is God's business, and what others do is others' business, you can control your own things on your own. As for how God is, it's a thing of God. It's a thing of the wind and rain,Do not interfere with your emotions because of changes in external things.. This will be very weak. Why do we need to let everyone do this? Because our energy, energy, and mental power are limited. Do not pay attention to, pay attention to, or get angry for things that have no significance to your goals, instead, I finally had no mood to do my important things. Negative Emotions consume 90% of your mental energy.

For example, my mom said, "it's because you have poor grades that make my mom angry !" Then this mother's Emotional Key is put on the child's score. If the child's score is poor, the mother will be very angry.

For example, when someone accidentally step on you, you get angry and scold each other. Then, when the quarrel arises, you get up. Because you think this is a mistake of others, because my emotions are controlled by others. If others treat me well, I will be in a good mood. If others affect my mood, I will be furious.

I am thinking:Why do you need to give the key to your own emotions to others?? If others treat you well, you will be very happy. If others do not treat you well, you will be sad for a whole day. Just like a person under control, people will laugh if they want you to laugh. People will cry if they want you to cry.Why can't I control my emotions? Why is my emotions affected by others' mistakes??

So I have seen such a sentence, and it's a pity that I can't find it. I can only say that you are the whole world and the whole world is you, everything in the external world is the subconscious projection of your inner world. How your inner world interacts with the external world, and how it interacts with you. So why is it because of the relationship between others that affects your mood?

• Use the internal world to control the external world

A pair of twins in the United States were born into a poor family, his mother was an alcoholic, his father was a gambler, so their family was very poor. Later, when the two brothers GREw up, their younger brother went to jail.

The reporter interviewed his younger brother and said, "All my parents are harmful to me and all my parents are wrong. At this point, I blame my parents for being bad ".

The reporter went to interview his brother again. His brother was a very successful entrepreneur. When the reporter interviewed his brother, his brother said, "I succeeded because of my parents ".

It is also a miserable family. Why will my younger brother become a gambler and become an entrepreneur? What Determines fate is not the external world, but your internal world.

Therefore, I believe that we can meet our elders, relatives, people who are about to retire in the Cultural Revolution, people who are laid-off, and people who complain, in short, my own hardships and ages are all social harm, and all the mistakes are made by others. I am the poorest of myself and will live in this bad state. There are countless complaints like this. The root cause is that their inner desires are different from those in reality. They cannot face up to difficulties, face themselves, face their shortcomings and shortcomings, and correct these shortcomings, instead, he shirked all his responsibilities to others and felt that he was a poor victim. When you encounter some social injustice, and you have been polished by the society, and your head is broken, do you still say: this is the fault of others, not my fault?

Let's think about it: we now have a population of 1.3 billion people, and everyone shares their wealth. Everyone is rich, so that those who complain about how society treats him unfairly and how they have their own affairs miserable. If you have the same money as others, and then look at your changes 10 years later and 20 years later, you will be able to find out whether you are a poor person or a rich person, after all, it is still rich. Because your inner world is a thought of the poor, how can you become rich? Do not let your mind be your own failure. Success is what those with a positive attitude have achieved.What determines your own destiny is not the external world, but your heart.

Reprinted from: http://www.mifengtd.cn/articles/how-to-have-a-peaceful-mind-1.html