I want to be happy every day.

One months is my 28 birthday, after graduation I think I will be as expected to meet the future of the wonderful writing their own brilliant, working fast four months when I found that it is not so, I became melancholy and unhappy.

I want to stop cheating myself, to put down, do not want to do the best of what, to learn to compromise.

To face the true self, only when one finds the truest self and 100% accepts the truest self, what he obtains is the greatest degree of spiritual freedom. Only under the guidance of the greatest spiritual freedom can she truly fall in love with herself and find happiness and passion in order to finally realize her dream.

I am very grateful to the boss for calling me. He said I changed, he first saw me when the body exudes the momentum of dictionary without now I was pretending to be strong forcible feeling. These words in my mind constantly recalled, let me think about why he would think so and why I give him that feeling. I must have done something wrong or I must have some kind of signal on my body to make others worry. Then I came to the conclusion that there was a crisis in my state and self-confidence. Before he saw me in the school at the beginning of the study stage, I am satisfied with the surrounding environment and enthusiasm for the study and the future, the people around and the future will do things are full of confidence so my state is bright, good spirit and even every day on the road to see the flowers and trees feel is a good existence. And now it's my deep concern that worries me about the future.

For example, I found myself bored in the house for a long time, and I found myself in a language barrier, and I found myself talking less harmonious, even afraid of speaking and saying that it was wrong. Class graduated to Guangzhou students on me and Li Yongjun classmate, the last move to live after and Li family gathered once came back I found how I said so many words, as if a prisoner was closed for a long time after seeing the sun and then a little overwhelmed, And as if the Chinese people say that in foreign countries for a long time to meet a Chinese people become very talkative. This is not myself, I even feel that my language ability is lost, afraid to speak, people are not energetic and not optimistic and interesting. Maybe someone will say that you are not too accustomed to loneliness, I smiled and thought about the wrong, I am very accustomed to loneliness and enjoy loneliness, and loneliness is a very necessary thing for me. Why this happens is because of the insecurity in people's hearts. For example, let me focus on doing one thing for a long time, and I think it's meaningful and must be done. I feel lonely is fun is to relax, I remember when I was a child moved to a new place, they speak the dialect I do not understand I even a semester do not talk I still think the whole semester is very good, I have no problem. Why there is no sense of security, because I think these are not work, and then I think about the importance of formalism, not to say that must be in the reinforced concrete office building work efficiency must be more comfortable than the cabin to do a freelancer high efficiency, It's about the people at work who have a certain sense of influence over what they want to do. When you have a good grasp of the influence, the work conditions you need to prepare for the lab and your room to work is no different, the question is what their work content.

I'm sure no one has given me a definite answer about what you have to do, and I don't really need it. I'm just not sure what the boss needs. Maybe you say how you are so low people are not to meet the needs of the boss, of course, everyone has their own things to do the key is when you even meet the boss needs these small things can not grasp the ideal I think is empty talk endangers, people need to reflect value in the work, I believe any great achievements are in silence broke out. Not to say does not mean not to know, to meet the needs of the boss and complete the task is a way to enhance security.

For example, why I worry, because of the sense of alienation. Uncertainty makes me feel alienated around me. What uncertainty, such as the randomness of meetings, the uncertainty of job content, the uncertainty of the staff, the ambiguity of the work of members may be inaccurate but for me I have not seen even the real thing and the code is good. These are not security factors.

For example, I myself, the more I think of the things I want to learn about the broader, so I am very patient from the most basic knowledge began to grasp and then afraid of time is not allowed. Why this kind of time is not allowed because I do not understand the needs of the boss, so afraid to say what you are doing, and even feel the reading of the back of the eyes. Because I am afraid of time spent on the details and no remedy, do not know the disease so do not know how to use drugs. The uncertainty that I mentioned above is this uncertainty about the planning of individual learning tasks, which creates insecurity.

So what is the conclusion, I can not tell the conclusion, that is the personal effort and self-analysis will be psychologically to make a little more sense of security. And no matter what happens to other people, I need a glimpse of my work schedule and meeting arrangements that I can understand.

I want to be happy every day.