If I hadn't woken up at the time

If I hadn't woken up then, the world had nothing to do with me. Life is so fragile, it's good to be alive.

This spring Festival holiday, back home a week, and then another bursts of emotion. First learned that a uncle had cancer, and then the cousin had no intention of chatting to know that an unfortunate little girl is no longer alive. At the time of hearing every message, my heart was click Stops.

That uncle is the same age as my father, just over 60 years old. In my mind, it is normal for everyone to live to be more than 80 years old. But that's not the way it is in reality. Remember years ago, a weekend home and parents to eat together, suddenly listen to dad said he a cousin died of illness. I was very shocked. Remember that the aunt person is good, she is very friendly to everyone, I and her several times not many exchanges, each time makes me feel she is very kind. I could feel the love she had for me. So when I heard that she was away, I suddenly wrote a lot of emotion in the diary. At that time I felt that the life of human beings was too fragile. Really, many times many things, we simply can not control, unpredictable.

There is a little girl, in fact, now is not small, because she is seven or eight years younger than I look like, so I always think she is a little girl. When she was first born, her parents abandoned her because she was diagnosed with incurable disease. The poor child, who had just been born, was abandoned in the hospital.

Not far behind my home lived a big brother, a few 10 years old or a person's life. He was filial to his old mother when he was still alive. But, God, sometimes it's really cruel. The eldest brother gave me the impression that he is always ragged, slovenly, and people speak, but also can clearly express his thoughts, but the speed is very slow, will make people feel some dull.

But it was the eldest brother who adopted the little girl that he had mentioned earlier. He gave her a doctor for her school. The little girl was ill, she was not well, and in my memory she always walked with her feet. Can you think of a person who lives in poverty who has a disability and what is the view of the world? As for me, I can't imagine. I think it is possible to kill me just by looking at other people's strange eyes.

Before this little girl often go to my cousin to play, my cousin is very recruit, around a lot of big and small girls like to go to her home to play. Cousin to the little girl is good, I think that girl is also very valued my cousin. This is also today I will strong pen to write her reason, I think she once lived in my world.

Then the little girl got married. I heard that her father (the little girl adoptive father) gave her a 20,000 dowry when she got married, then stunned the little girl's husband and wife. I just said, my eldest brother (although he is older than my father, according to the neighborhood, I call his brother) is usually ragged, he does not how to make a living, the family only a few acres, rely on that money, 20,000, it should be a good years of savings.

A few days ago, I did not want to hear the elder brother and I two Uncle Chat, speaking of his daughter, he laughed in complaining about his relatives in his daughter was not visited during the hospital. From his expression, I can feel his infinite yearning for her.

Originally a lonely old man had a worried, but later also did not. Originally an abandoned baby finally found the Father love, but later also did not.

Say someone else, and then start talking about yourself.

A few friends gathered the other day. Originally, the eldest brother and I have to discuss or come to my home this year. I said no no no ah, 10 a dozen people come, I home that house, so many people in the house stood full, no sitting place, how embarrassing! Then later on to discuss the Li Yu home.

But the last few people decided to go to the county again.

That three or four o'clock in the afternoon, Kun son with his girlfriend also good handsome, drive to my home to pick me up. In front of the folks, I feel good and face oh. Because my family has been poor, many people should be despised. At that time I suddenly had a feeling of elated. Well, I'm vain.

I was thinking, not just one hundred thousand or two hundred thousand of the car, in a few years elder brother can also buy.

Dad saw me a few friends come over, drive the car also brought things, collapsed more happy. He has always only owed people a good word.

That day came to the county. A few friends are driving past. I still have a gap in my heart. Compared with them, I have a lot of bad conditions. Most of them have a car with a wife and children, and I have no room, no car and no wife and children. The heart is very unbalanced. Although I feel I am mixed up now, but a comparison of family, I immediately bad.

We played the table ball first, then went to the restaurant to eat. Eldest brother brought two bottles of good wine, 44 people around a table, the atmosphere is harmonious. The big collar to divide the liquor, the man one Cup, about 32 appearance.

That wine, I drank the first mouth, feel not my food, it is unbearable that taste. After drinking the second bite, I felt sick in my stomach. I patted my chest and felt like I was going to vomit. I endured for a while, until I could not help it.

I got up and went out when the big collar was kidding me, saying I could control the plane, sweat! I wanted to have a conversation with him, but it was a bit difficult, and I turned to them and smiled at them and moved quickly to the door.

I opened the door, the right hand twisted down the handle, and then suddenly what do not know, I faint, fell on the spot.

When I woke up, I was being a couple of them, I do not remember what happened, vaguely seem to hear several people shouting, but what they say I do not know.

After a while, I realized I was fainting. Then my heart suddenly felt very bad. I think I swept the boys ' party.

They took me from the second floor to the downstairs and they were going to take me to the hospital. When I say I feel bad, they say don't think too much don't think too much, go to the hospital to check to make sure the body is nothing is the most critical.

I don't know what to say. When I got downstairs, I lost consciousness again when I was near the car.

They were shouting again, and I could still feel their cries, but I didn't know what they were saying.

Fortunately, after a little while I woke up again. This time they have been holding me, I have not pushed away.

Kun son, Big collar, Peng Tao, accompany me to the hospital.

First to the county hospital. The big neckline is good, he repeatedly and several doctors said the scene. The doctor gave me an electrocardiogram, and then said that ECG color super night can not do, she let us go to the city Hospital for inspection. It was eight or nine o'clock in the evening, and Quentin drove to the city again. I feel very embarrassed.

To the Urban Huaihe Hospital, the night still can not do heart electric color super. But a doctor on duty gave us an analysis of the situation. He said that I was very difficult to check, he said that even if a detailed investigation, down to thousands of, can successfully detect the cause of only 20% of the possibility.

In the end, I felt very likely to have something to do with the medicine I had that morning. The doctor asked if there is any medicine, I just think of the morning cough, Dad handed me a package of medicine to cough, I think I did not want to eat. Two days to eat two times, there are no cephalosporins and anti-inflammatory drugs, I am not sure. Several friends have also been asked if there is a cephalosporin. It was not until then that I knew the common sense that the cephalosporins and the wine could not drink together. Fei Fei even said, "You must pay attention to!" Cephalosporins eat with wine and will deadly. ”

Then the big collar comforted me that there was no such thing as the idea of sweeping the brothers ' party. I, uh, promised. But I really want to not faint in front of them.

I've had a history of fainting before. Once because of allergy to take medicine, the country doctor prescribe too big, I body weak bone is not resistant to live. It was convenient to lie on the bed, and suddenly fell when I was walking on the road. Again woke up, felt a headache, the original hit a brick on a big lump. When fainted, completely do not know how to pour, the whole person collapsed, that a moment what happened, people are not conscious.

Once again, when I was graduating from my senior years, I was so sick that I almost collapsed and slept too little every day. That day siesta, woke up time, I was anxious, up to jump from the top of the bed, feet just before the ground faint. 10 seconds later, a couple of roommates were leaning on me and shouting, "What's wrong?" What the heck ... "

I was a little scared at the time.

I'm not afraid to die. Life and joy, death and joy. I was not reconciled. Now I do nothing, my dream has not come true, if it is so hung up, I am unwilling to ah.

I have a lot of feelings about this again fainting incident. Really, I just feel that health is the most important. What wealth, status, reputation, these worldly values of things, for each of us will eventually become a fleeting. Only by living, the world is meaningful to us.

This time fainted, my mind has been thinking about the previous documentary "Bruce Lee Legend", Bruce Lee in the scene fainted scenes I have been unforgettable. A strong man may say no.

I felt on the microblog, "If I didn't wake up, the world had nothing to do with me." Life is so fragile, it's good to be alive. Don't fight like that in the future, enjoy every process every day. ”

Lee handsome reply to me, "later to have degrees, not with others, do what you can!" ”

I thought maybe he understood what I was saying to spell the wine. In fact, I say is desperately to achieve their goals. In the past year, almost every day my mental strings are taut, drinking and vomiting a few times, but also for a period of time kidney stones. The whole is not well.

Now, I think, nervous, restless, manic, these are diseases in themselves, and if so, they have to be cured. In the past, I was often manic-disturbed. In the future I will often relax the spirit of the string, not too deliberately asked myself, what things to do.

If I hadn't woken up then, I wouldn't have had this text. What a horrible hypothesis. Luckily, I'm alive again. It's good to be alive.

If there is a god, I hope you bless my health and longevity, I pray you in my lifetime let me realize my dream to realize my value.

If I hadn't woken up at the time