If your programming language is car ......

This article is a collection of old jokes that compare programming languages with cycling, and adds several popular languages. Please give me any suggestions!

Note: It seems that Digg/Reddit/stumbleupon has mined, read, and stepped on this article. As a result, I have received a large amount of new suggestions. This is validating Vanier's Law: "Any programming-related articles, no matter how stupid, will eventually be sent to websites such as Digg/Reddit/stumbleupon ." Thanks to all the people who gave me suggestions. I carefully checked all the suggestions and added my favorite suggestions to this page. I also selected some comments from digg.com without authorization. If you are the author of the comments and do not allow me to send them here, I will delete your comments. If I did not comment on your wonderful comment, please understand: this does not mean that I do not like you, maybe
It's just because I'm a asshole who lacks a sense of humor. At the same time, some people speculate on my own programming language level. I am a practical Programmer (or even a smug <?> In general, my programming language is like this: Haskell> ocaml> scheme/lisp> Erlang> Python/Ruby> C. I also like other languages (such as PROLOG and smalltalk), but I am not very familiar with those languages. I also hate languages, but I am not here to express my dislike, so as not to get stuck in meaningless verbal battles (for example, some people will send the content "You TMD !" ).

Believe it or not, this page has been translated to Russian. Thanks to Nick gorbikoff for his translation. This article is also translated into Arabic. I don't know who the translator is, but I also thank him/her.

List:

Ada is an unusually brave tank that will never be damaged. If you tell someone that you are driving Ada, they will laugh crazy, but, to be honest, would you like to drive a sports car on the battlefield?

The Assembly Language is just an engine. You need to build your own car and manually Inject fuel during driving, but if you are careful enough, it can run as fast as taking off the wild horse.

It's good to use basic cars to drive to a nearby store. Basic was once popular among people learning to drive. However, it was recently stripped and re-designed by a major producer. The new version can be used for long-distance travel. Compared with the old version, it only looks similar to the old version, but the rest have changed.

C: an incredible but bad sports car every fifty minutes.

COBOL is a famous car, but any driver who respects himself does not admit that he was driving.

C # strong competitors in domestic travel vehicles. Once you use this type of car, you cannot use its competitor's car.

C ++ is the enhanced horsepower version of the C sports car. It has dozens of additional features than C. Damage occurs every 250 miles. The problem is that no one can find the problem.

Eifel is a car with a French accent containing a driving guide. It will help you quickly find your own mistakes and learn lessons, but if you dare to argue with it, it will throw you out of the car window. The Eiffel language is another "pure" oopl following the Smalltalk-80. This language was developed by well-known OOP experts Bertrand Meyer and others at interactive software engineering Inc. In the late 1980s S .) developed, it is mainly characterized by comprehensive static typing, a large number of development tools, and support for multi-inheritance.

Erlang is a group of cars that can work together to deliver you to your destination. You need to be trained to learn to drive these cars at the same time. When you learn how to drive, it is difficult to learn other ways of driving. In addition, you have a lot of cars, so it doesn't matter if one or two cars break down.

Forth is a car that you build with your own tools. It does not look like any other car. Also, forth cars can only run backwards.

FORTRAN is a very primitive car. If you drive on a very straight road, Fortran can run fast. It is believed that you will not be able to drive other cars after learning to drive FORTRAN.

Java is a type of home wagon. It is easy to drive, but it is not very fast, and you will not hurt yourself in an accident.

Haskell is a beautifully designed car. It is said that it can drive on any extreme terrain. When you drive it, it does not drive along the road, but copies itself and the road several times, and copies the road to be taken in the future, in fact, it can be driven in a more convenient way, but it requires a very high level of mathematics.

[Monadic version]

Haskell is not a car. It is just an abstract car. You need to put it in another real car before driving. You don't have to know how a real car is driving. You can combine several abstract cars into an abstract car, and then it can let the real car do a good trip one by one.

Lisp looks like a car. With enough modifications, you can turn it into a very efficient aircraft or submarine.

[Paul tanimoto]

Lisp didn't look like a car at first, but you can always see people who drive it. When you decide to understand it, you will find that it is actually a car that can make more cars. You tell your friends about it, but they all laugh at you and say these cars look strange. You still have a car in your garage, hoping that one day these cars will occupy all the streets.

Mathematica is a well-designed car. I have referenced the lisp design, but I did not even say thank you to lisp. It can help you find the fastest path to your destination, but it depends on your luck.

Mathematica and Matlab generally travel on similar terrain. It is very comfortable to drive MATLAB in this terrain, but if you leave the driveway, even if you only have a little bit, this car will become very difficult to drive, at this time, some snoop drivers do not even regard it as a car.

Ocaml is a very sexy European car. It is not as fast as C, but it never breaks down halfway, so you may spend less time in the end. However, because it is from France, the driving method is different from that of a General car.

Perl is a beautiful car, but the driving manual is too hard to understand. In addition, if you know how to drive Perl in a timely manner, you may not necessarily open perl for others.

PHP is Oscar Mayer wienermobile. Although it is a strange and hard-to-drive car, everyone wants to drive it.

Prolog automatic car: You just need to tell it what your destination looks like, it will automatically drive in the past. However, describing most destinations is equivalent to opening them in person.

Python is a good car suitable for beginners. You can leave it on the road without a driver's license. Generally, you don't need other cars unless you want to drive fast or go through very dangerous areas.

Ruby is a combination of Perl, Python, and smalltalk. A Japanese engineer made ruby from the fragments, and many drivers think it is better than the other three languages. Other drivers complained that Ruby was not stable, and some identical operations were slightly different in different environments, so such cars were not so easy to drive. It is said that Ruby's re-design is in progress.

Smalltalk is a small car originally designed for people who learn to drive, but it is well designed, so experienced drivers also like to drive. It cannot run fast, but you can take any of its regions and replace them with other parts to suit your needs. It's a bit strange: You don't need to drive it manually. You tell it where you want to go, it either takes you there or tells you it doesn't know what you're talking about.

Visual Basic: drive your car.

Which car do you like, linuxer? Or do you think your car has a better image?

Link: http://www.oschina.net/news/18982/if-programming-language-is-car