Interest or envy?

Today I went to the bookstore again. I am a book-loving person, and I have never doubted this. But today I doubt my interests for the first time.

I did not hesitate to select CS when I chose my major. After four years, I always thought that computer science was my biggest interest. However, today I suddenly asked myself in a bookstore: Why did most of my books about CS fail to be read seriously? If you didn't have time to take the exam, you don't have to take the exam now. Why? Why do you have the mood to watch the TV series "Di Renjie", but you have no mood to calm down and study a book carefully.

I never care about the price when I buy books. Dozens of books, hundreds of books, and dozens of books. It's not because I have money, but because I can really save money to buy books. I can smoke a few more cigarettes and drink a few drinks, but I can't resist the temptation of books in the bookstore to me. However, when I bought the books, most of them were shelved by me.

Why can't I stop new students?

If a movie is also a hobby, I can get rid of it. However, CS is also my hobby and interest. Why did I forget to read a book about CS?

Is CS really my biggest interest? If not, what drives me to choose this major? What drives me to visit bookstores frequently? What drives me to buy so expensive books? What drives me to focus on this industry?

Envy, envy of IT practitioners. Today I finally understand that my envy is greater than my hobbies. Although today's IT practitioners have a large number of miscellaneous troops, I still envy those who rely on technology to eat, their intelligence, diligence, and the miracle they have created.

However, Envy can only increase vanity. Your ideal is to become a person who has made achievements in the CS field. With envy alone, you will never stick to this ideal in the hardest time.

After understanding this, you can find a direction for yourself. Your interest in CS is far from enough. To make achievements in this industry, you must be aware of learning. Real interests do not need to be conscious. However, consciously cultivating interest. Before CS becomes your biggest interest, you still need to remind yourself to learn it consciously.

This is the result of my reflection today. Although I am not a person who sticks to my ideals, I hope it will be in the future.