Learn how others grasp themselves

If you want to seek development, you must understand others so that you can better cooperate and give full play to your strengths. You cannot do anything at will. However, a good wish may be broken down by others' attitudes. As a result, it is in distress. Unable to extricate themselves. How can we get to know others and not fall into the mountains?

Confucius said, you look at a person and want to"View the cause, view its security. What is it? Suya?" (The Analects of Confucius for politics) What does this mean?

From the very beginning, you need to see why he did this. It doesn't matter what he is doing, but what his motivation is.

In the middle, "view what it is" depends on how he does his work and how he uses it.

In the end, it is "observing what it is". When a person does one thing, what is ending or not ending? Isn't the end of a physical process, but is his mind finally settled in this result? Some things are done, but the hearts of the people are still uneasy, and he still has to do it. Some things are not done, but some people can say that I will be lucky when I visit Dai through the snow night, when I arrive at a friend's door, I can leave without knocking on the door, because my heart is safe.

Therefore, looking at a person to do things should not look at the development process of things, but at his psychological settling. This is to give us a starting point, "view it as it is", give us another process, "view what it is", and finally give us an end point, "view what it is ", in this case, "people are stunned". Where can people hide them? "" Means hiding.

After analyzing such a process, how do you say this person can hide his true face? You have understood this person's heart.

Some people are playing on the game market. For example, when everyone is going to learn racing cars, a very fast newbie is far ahead. You asked him why he drove the car like this. He may say that I have been pursuing speed and I think it is not fast enough. He is already the first.

Confucius not only tells you that "knowing people" is very important, but also tells you that the method of "knowing people" is that you should not examine a person's words and deeds at a static point, you can't say what you say out of context. Therefore, a person not only needs to listen to his words, but also views his behavior. Watching his behavior is not only a result, but also a dynamic process.

Confucius has another saying:"Sizhini." (The Analects of Confucius) if you look at a person's fault, you will know whether he is a benevolent person. This will teach us a further way, not only to look at the process of everything, but also to look at the fault of this person.

A person's life has a long way to go? A real gentleman is not at fault, but can gain insight from his fault. Some people make mistakes because they are weak. Others make mistakes because they trust them. Many people make mistakes because of kindness.

As we have said before, the students asked Confucius, "what is it like to report complaints by virtue of Morality ?" Confucius told him that you should "report complaints directly and report to morality" (The Analects of Confucius asked the Constitution). Isn't it a fault to report complaints by virtue of morality?

Many people are often hurt because their hearts are too compassionate, soft, and beyond the bottom line. This is also a fault. From this kind of fault, you may be able to see this kind of deep kindness in the hearts of the people.

Therefore, Confucius said, "View", you can know whether he is a benevolent person. This is actually a way to look at people. This idea is very interesting. It can surpass time and apply to different times.

In fact, when people are at fault, how to observe them is very important: the first point is the attitude after making a mistake. In the words of Zi Gong, a gentleman does not make mistakes, but the gentleman's life is like the food of the sun and the moon, the sun and the moon are in the sky, and there is a eclipse in the sun, the moon has a lunar eclipse. Therefore, if "I have never seen anyone", he will be wrong. Everyone can see it clearly. "even more, everyone can admire it." (The Analects of Confucius and son Zhang), after the change, you have to look at him.

Therefore, the gentleman "never changes" ("the Analects of Confucius"), wrong, wrong, do not be afraid to change; "never change, it is a mistake. This is very important. If it is wrong, change it immediately.

Second, the real gentleman also has a feature called "The Analects of Confucius". In today's words, we will not make the same mistake. A person can make mistakes all his life, but it must be of a certain quality and a higher level. We cannot make the same mistake repeatedly.

Different things may make mistakes in different situations, but remember the lessons and do not fall down again in the same place.

Isn't observing a person's mistakes more profound and insightful than observing a person's achievements?

Through these methods of knowing people, what you finally find may be completely different from what the objective world shows.

We can see, what is "known"? People are known to use people. That is to say, you can place a person in the correct place.

There is a saying: There is no waste in this world. The so-called waste is just a wrong fortune. The same is true for humans. Can you say that a person is incompetent in a certain position? The key is where you put him.

The true wisdom is that no matter who you meet, you can see the advantages in his life and complement yourself, and those advantages in your own life "can make the innocent ", it can make changes for people who are not very good. It can be said that this is great wisdom.

So, where does this wisdom come from? Confucius taught us some methods. He said that human intelligence can be learned. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of people who don't want to learn, but they are confused. This is what common people do.

Confucius said: "If there is a person who does not know what to do, I will also ." (The Analects of Confucius) He said, there is a kind of person who doesn't have much knowledge and has no great wisdom, but just creates a picture. I don't do anything like this anyway.

Confucius went on to say: "I know more about it, and I know more about it. I know more about it ." (The Analects of Confucius) He said, "I just want to listen more, and I will follow the course when I hear it. I will go to see it more and remember it when I see it. In this way, I can continue to grow, even though such wisdom is a level-1 wisdom.

Why did Confucius say this is a level-1 intelligence? Because he thinks that there are actually four levels of human intelligence. The first is "born and known", which is born with wisdom. The second is "Learner", who understands wisdom through learning. Third, those who are "sleepy and learning" will be confused. If they are in trouble, they will be able to learn in an emergency. The first time is "sleepy but not learnt", that is, you have already encountered difficulties and have not yet learned, then of course you can only accept your fate. Confucius learned through listening more often, apparently the second person.

These four layers may sound easy to divide, but what is most likely to be questioned is the first level: Who is the "born and known", who is born with full stomach wisdom?

The so-called "born and known" refers to the kind of savvy person. If we say that the "learner who knows" sees something, we can take the opposite action. The "born and ignorant" means that by virtue of his understanding, we can draw a different picture. In many cases, he has no teacher to do anything, this level is very high. However, this type of person is hard to see. Confucius is a knowledgeable person, but he does not admit that he is a "born and known". He is only a "learner who knows ".

Smart people can learn from external factors, but they must have their own ideas. So what is your inner brewing?

Let's take a look at the realm of Confucius. The realm that Confucius can achieve is very rare. It is called the "son of the four", that is, he basically put an end to the four problems here. What are the four types? It is called:"No, no." (The Analects of Confucius)

What does it mean? The first is "don't mean". It means subjective judgment. It means that one thing is put there, and there is no evidence. When you think about it, you can say what it is. Confucius basically did not do this.

The second is "no". That is to say, he does not have an inevitable expectation. To say that one thing must follow my own ideas, there must be some results.

The third is "not solid". That is to say, we should not stick to our own opinions. We must truly respect the rule of this matter, respect its changes, and then look for its objective direction, instead of being stubborn.

Fourth, the most difficult thing is "Don't me ". In the end, we can reach a level of self-confidence, and then truly complete the judgment of objective things. Is this easy? Very difficult.

We may be confused. How can a person "Don't Need Me? Is it easy to get rid of the things that are especially self-defeating and difficult?

There are a lot of interesting questions and answers in Zen quotes. This is what a wise man will do after hearing it.

A disciple asked Gao Miao, "How can I be relieved? This is actually the voice of many of us. Gao asked him one sentence: Who bound you?

This disciple asked: where is the real Pure Land? Gao Miao asked him: Who contaminated you?

The disciple asked: How is it true? Gao asked him: who gave you life and death?

Let's think about this conversation. In fact, we have come to the initial source of our lives and become detached.

If you have external learning and a thorough understanding of the heart, you must use some practical methods in our life to achieve this kind of internal and external unity.

Confucius showed us this method. "What do I know? Ignorance. Some sneer asked me, just as empty as it was, and I knocked at both ends and ran away.." (The Analects of Confucius)

Confucius said, do you think I am a wise person? I have no great wisdom. He asked me some questions. My mind was empty, so I couldn't answer them. No one is omnipotent. However, Confucius said, I have a way to "beat at both ends" when I encounter anything ". That is to say, at present, people should jump to the next point, not immerse themselves in the process of the incident, or be entangled in details. Instead, they must grasp the two extremes of the incident to solve the problem, know the truth about the problem.

When everything is in front of you, ask yourself, what is the best and the worst? Then you can decide what to do. This is called "knocking at the two ends", that is, asking the extreme values at the two ends of it, and then looking at the Global View.

Here is a famous story. In a primary school in Germany, a little boy was very naughty and never listened carefully. The teacher gave him a question to keep him quiet. He casually said: if you are sitting there, add one, add two, add three, add four, add five, and add six, and add them to one hundred all the time. How much do you get in the end?

The teacher turned and followed the lecture. After a few minutes, the little boy stood up and said it was five thousand and fifty. The teacher was shocked and asked how you figured it out? The child said, "One plus one hundred" is one hundred and one, "Two plus ninety-nine" is one hundred and one, and "three plus ninety-eight" is one hundred and one or one hundred and one ". In this way, the two sides are added to the middle, and the fifty plus five eleven or is added, so isn't 50 million one hundred and one? This child was later a great mathematician, Gauss.

This method used by Mr. Gauss is a very simple method for hitting both ends of the system.

We will encounter many problems. The key is to find a simple solution. In our life, it is easy for us to follow the established logic! Can we jump out? As long as we ask the best and worst cases, we will jump out.

If we solve the problem in this way, we will not spend too much time on details.

There are still ways to find out how to realize wisdom. Therefore, knowledge is used as accumulation, and wisdom is used as the realm for us to strive for improvement. Each person follows his own mind and can find his meaning, he can enrich his life.