Don't bother organizing. Just laugh.
When I went to college, I skipped a terrible group dance and needed violent actions such as falling down quickly and raising my legs. I can't do it without a few days of training. My body is blue, and some leg muscles are still bruised.
In the afternoon, I went to class. On the third floor, I couldn't lift one of my legs, so I went up so hard that I simply sent the leg straight up. As she was walking, she heard a girl behind her boyfriend say, "it's still a normal school in a big city. In our hometown, this kind of child paralysis cannot go to school ."
I'm so dizzy ......
The dormitory of the Suzhou Branch was inspected for illegal electrical appliances. Sorry, my two buddies were so scared that one of them was busy packing up the electric stove and hiding in the mosquito net, and the other one got in with the hot milk from the stove.
Come in ...... The door was pushed in, and no one looked at the lamp. I was about to leave. Suddenly, a brother in the mosquito net was burned by the milk cup, and suddenly it turned over the cup, and a terrible scream ......
Teacher su guanke was shocked. He opened the mosquito net and looked at it: two boys were not neatly folded, and the sheets were white ......
At the same table, he caught a cold and runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief. Then he continued to suck his nose into his nose. The Chinese teacher who wrote on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "that's enough! Stop for me!
!" The class is quiet. The teacher said, "Who is still so loud when I steal noodles in class ?"
A question requires that the following four sentences be connected using related words:
1. Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;
2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied hard;
3. Sister Zhang Haidi learned multiple foreign languages;
4. Sister Zhang Haidi learned acupuncture.
The correct answer should be: "Although sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed, she learned not only many foreign languages but also acupuncture.
As a result, a child wrote: Although sister Zhang Haidi had learned acupuncture and many foreign languages, she was paralyzed.
I also found a more violent child who wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture, so tenacious learning, finally paralyzed!
In high school, a buddy in the class was born in 1981. He was not very old .....
One of the following things occurred when he was taking the bus:
When I was in high school, this guy took a bus to school. Because of the long journey, a 35-year-old man next to him spoke to him, and the man said, "Big Brother, where to go?
This guy may have suffered a lot of such treatment, but he was not very surprised. He calmly replied: "The Middle School ". The man's second sentence: "Oh, are you going to see your child? It's hard for children to go to school ......"
The Buddy's face twitched and didn't scream.
The third sentence: "How old are you ?" That guy is so annoying and doesn't explain it. He just said, "high school"
At this time, the classic network emerged. The man looked at the buddy with an unusually surprised eye. After ten seconds, he came up with the following sentence: "Eldest Brother, it's quite late to get married !"
I remember when I was in high school, I saw a good guy buy big cakes out of school. You know, when I was in high school, I often went hungry, I immediately ran up and gave him a try. Then I grabbed his big cake and gave it a bite. I also said it was not good enough. I didn't need to buy one when I bought it, as a result, the system had not swallowed up yet. When you looked up, you could find the wrong person, later, I said I'm sorry, and ran the big pie that I took a bite into the man's hand. The whole process was done in one breath !!!
I remember that when I ran back to the school gate and looked back, the man stood in front of the stall, holding the big cake missing. I can't help but think of it now !!!!
Freshman year, once I went to the canteen to cook steamed stuffed buns, who knows that there was something wrong with the card maker. I cut down 150 pieces. 3. My brother who sold steamed stuffed buns won't go back after half a day, so he said sadly: "Okay
I remember that you will always come in the future until you have used up the extra money ." I have to agree.
Sorry, I have been eating steamed stuffed bun for a semester, and my brother owes me 2 bucks and 3 bucks ...... The most annoying thing is that I didn't find a girlfriend for four years in college !!!
After graduation, one day I walked on the campus tree-lined road, I heard a bunch of girls pointing to the following: "That's right, it's him !! Don't look for such a boyfriend in the future. I will go to the second dining room every day to eat steamed buns without money !!"
A girl in our class put a pack of milk on the heater in the cold winter.
During the class, a boy sitting next to the heating station shouted: "***, help me flip the milk.
The class laughed, but did not attend classes in the morning.
On one occasion, I went home late at night. I washed my hair in the bathroom and suddenly heard a movement at the door. It seems that someone is cracking my lock at the door. So I shouted, "Who, what? "Who knows, but the thief replied at the door," why don't you go to bed so late. Then there will be no sound.
Another time, when I was resting at home during the day and surfing the Internet, I suddenly heard a sound coming from the kitchen. I gently walked over and saw it. It turned out to be a thief who stole my doors and windows. I took out a kitchen knife and said to him, "What are you doing? I will give an alarm if I don't leave. "The thief unhurriedly folded the tool and then gave me a sentence:" You are ill, someone at home, say it! I have been busy for a long time. "Then I turned and walked away. I'm so sad...
Not long ago, a friend gave me a jingba puppy named Lele. The puppy is pure white, but it also talks about hygiene. It never makes a decision at home, it would call "Wang" twice in advance and then urinate in the tray I prepared for him, saving a lot of trouble. On Sunday morning, I took Lele to the bank, I just got the money in the bank's business hall, "Wang ...... "Lele suddenly shouted at me. I know it's coming soon. Although this is not a matter of fact, we must abide by social morality! In a hurry, I quickly took out the newspaper I just bought on the newsstand and gave it to Lele for convenience. Lele was so happy. Finally, I carefully wrapped the pile of waste into a paper bag with my newspaper, holding it in one hand and holding Lele in one hand. I was about to throw it to the garbage bin on the street. Just walked to the side of the road, just listen to "Ga", a motorcycle brake stops at my side. As soon as I was stunned, the young guy sitting in the back seat, wearing sunglasses, grabbed the paper bag in my hand. With the strong roar of the motor, the motorcycle flew away. I have never woken up while standing on the side of the road for a long time. Several passers-by who have just witnessed this scene whispered, "This guy is unlucky enough to get out of the bank ...... Tens of thousands? "
Guo Degang: "Hey, old man, look, do you know me?", "De gang Ah ~~", "It's okay, old man. Don't go to your heart. You can live more than one hundred on a solid basis ". "What do I do? What do I get for you?", "I want a lady ~~", "Sorry, you have been dead long ago, you know", "I want to solve the problem ~~".
A couple of men and women are eating dinner
The girl always asked the boy: Do you love me or not?
Boys take a look at girls and continue to have dinner
The girl was angry and asked again: Do you love me or not?
Boys finally said: Love
The girl asked: how do you prove it?
Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan out of his pocket,
Ask the girl: Do you have 10 yuan?
The girl paid ten yuan to the boy ......
Boys put 40 yuan on the table
After a while .....
The girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me!
The boy said: I have proved it! Forty!
One-day shopping spree
I found a shop that sells ometas.
Each of them looks delicious. I 'd like to buy one.
I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately?
Clerk: No, this is from Japan.
One of my friends once took a taxi home from the station and asked the driver, "How much is it to x× town ?"
Driver: "150 ." My friend asked: "100 don't go ?"
I did not expect the driver's attitude to be extremely bad: "You have no money. What kind of car are you driving? Roll !"
(What do you do when you look at the official website and change it to you ?)
My friend walked away silently.
A few days later, my friend saw the driver and many other drivers waiting at the station.
My friend went over and asked another driver, "How much is it in x× town ?"
The driver: "150 ." My friend asked: "200 don't go ?" Driver: "Let's go, of course !"
My friend said, "but when you get halfway through, you have to let me put your so in your mouth ."
Driver: "Are you ill! I want you to earn 50 more dollars? Rely on me !"
My friend found another one: "How much is it in x× town ?"
Driver: "150 ." My friend asked: "200 don't go ?" Driver: "Let's go, of course !"
My friend said, "but when you get halfway through, you have to let me put your so in your mouth ."
Driver: "You have made a mistake! I want you to earn 50 more dollars? Rely on me !"
In this way, my friend asked all the other drivers in a short time. Except for the driver who insulted him last time, everyone knows that my friend is willing to go to x× town 200, but he wants to put his so in the driver's mouth halfway.
At last, my friend came to the driver who insulted him: "How much is it in x× town ?"
The driver: "150 ." My friend asked: "200 don't go ?" Driver: "Let's go, of course !"
My friend said, "but when you leave, you have to shout to everyone, 'I am going to x× town 200 '."
Driver: "What is this? Go !"
Then I shouted, "I went to x× town 200 ---"
One day the blind man and the blind man rode out in the same car. When the blind man rode, the blind man looked at the road and suddenly the blind man found a deep gap in front of him! The blind man sang: ole! The two fell into the gap!
When I went to school, I lived in the school dormitory. After studying at night, I could always see the men and women on campus together. I'm so envious !!!
Envy those men who often visit female dormitories (old and small ).
After class, I was invited to the female dormitory (I Didn't Want To Go To). I had dinner, chatting, and more than 10 o'clock in the twinkling of an eye. When I was about to leave, I heard my aunt shouting downstairs:
"It's not too early !!! Thank you, girls !!! "
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