Methods and techniques for efficient communication (from Pegasus net)

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Methods and techniques for effective communication

When we anciently with our customers, we inevitably encounter the feelings and words that our customers misunderstand and even appear dissatisfied with, when we have misunderstandings or communication obstacles, how do we deal with them?

Do you often hear the words, "You don't know what I'm saying", "You're not thinking about others!" "Do you know where your problem is?" ”......

When we communicate, especially in the state of emotional venting (complaining, anger, etc.), we will express our accusation and dissatisfaction. When we use "you" as the beginning, we will show no doubt the meaning of the accusation in our hearts, prompting the other side to be eager to defend themselves, the communication door closed, to provoke a dispute.

In fact, efficient communication is not complicated, when we refer to our feelings, if the adjustment with "I" as the subject will bring different results. This will accurately express their feelings, causing positive attention, so that the other party will not have the feeling of being judged, prompting the two sides to start communication.

"You" message "I" Information

1. Meaning of the accusation 1. Expressing feelings, causing positive attention

2. Make the other person anxious to defend themselves 2. There's no sense of being judged.

3. Communication Gate closed 3. Start communication

4. Disputes

On this basis can be integrated into the expression of skills

Describe the behavior of each other

Your thoughts on his actions.

how you feel.

The impact of each other's actions on you

Let's take a look at a real case:

Before adjustment:

One night, Peter because of overtime, home is very late, home to find his wife a face anger. He did not understand, his wife Jenny first of all:

Jenny: "You are not thinking of others!" Why are you home so late? I don't even know where you are! Dinner is cold, you will only think of yourself! ”

Peter: "Don't yell at me." You are complaining again, in the matter of the big, to live a comfortable life I have to work overtime, or the money is not enough ah ... But you will never be satisfied! ”

Jenny: "Well, you're selfish!" Please, put your family in the first place OK, just once! You never do things at home, you just want to let me do everything! ”

Peter turned to go: "No more trouble!" I'm tired and want to have a rest. will only accuse me. ”

Jenny was furious: "Yes, yes!" You go! You're playing a childish trick again. Do you know where your problem is? Is that you will only escape, do not want to face the problem! ”

After adjustment:

Jenny: "Peter: You came back late this week, but you didn't call and tell me (his behavior description)." Are you trying to avoid me? I'm starting to think that you don't love me anymore. I'm really sorry (how you feel). I will be so paranoid that I will worry about you (the impact). ”

Peter: "Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry." I didn't think you had that feeling. I do not want to avoid you, I do not love you no longer. Honey, I'm not looking for anyone else, either. It's just that the company is too busy, I'm stuck with my work, I have to do overtime, and I have a lot of pressure. When I got home I was tired, so I needed to be alone. I didn't mean to give you that feeling, I promise you, in the future to work overtime, I will call to tell you. ”

Do you feel that the adjustment enhances the desire for positive communication? Because these words are definitely not meant to justify and quarrel with, it means understanding and acceptance.

After such treatment, just the intense provocative words will be adjusted to moderate and reasonable language. "I" information in real life is very practical, because it can reduce the defensive heart. Everyone can honestly and clearly say their feelings, reduce aggression, open the door of communication.

This also allows us to understand that when the communication object appears dissatisfied with the language, we can understand what he is in what state, can better understanding and assist them.

Methods and techniques for efficient communication (from Pegasus net)