My sense of presence

In a twinkling of an eye, I haven't been writing for many days. Because it has been quite uncomfortable recently, I have no strength to write anything. In my worst time, I went to sleep for a whole day and night without eating or drinking water. However, the days are all about to continue, and writing cannot be broken.

Today, I flipped through what I wrote before, and I couldn't find many of them. I used to write words that I liked, liked by others, and received prizes at school, there are also good QQ system tags, but those many words can no longer be found. When I feel uncomfortable, I want to delete them a little bit. Like Qingwen in A Dream of Red Mansions, it should be a catharsis. I remember that I had torn down 0.3 million words I wrote in college over the past few years. Now, although I feel a little sorry, I don't regret it. It's just that some of my favorite words have been lost long ago, and my heart is still quite uncomfortable.

Recently, my heart was totally unbalanced due to setbacks, a bit unbearable, and deception. How can a person like me always suffer from failures! How can I always be cheated by a person who is as good as me! Is it because I was too simple, naive, and naive, or is the world too complicated? I am a little tired and cannot understand it.

I have always been trying to figure out others with the best mind. I originally wanted to be a good person, but when I was hurt many times, I thought everything was not as perfect as I thought. There are so many bad people in the world. I suddenly remembered what my late uncle once said to me: "If everyone is like you, this world will be great ". At that time, I was still not convinced. Now I think it was really too young too simple. When I was a young man, I was driving a farm car on the road. An old gentleman was about 70 years old. He rode a tricycle and I drove it from him, he tried to drag his handlebars to the back side and tried to drag them slowly to my car. Fortunately, a big sister-in-law pushed him away and shouted, "What do you want to do with this old man?" I know that he wants to hack me. Well, I always think that the older people are, the more charity they are, the more I am wrong. I forgot another word: the old man and the other man, my father and I took a big car watermelon and went to the chenliu market to sell them for free. There were many people in the market. We couldn't take care of them, but I was honest with my father. They hashed in together, the women were so arrogant that the children took the opportunity and there were a few old men who looked at us too busy and didn't pay attention to them. They even ran away with watermelon. At that time, they watched the old man escape, I thought to myself, my God, as for the watermelon with three cents and one pound, it's just a few dollars! These are all good. What makes me intolerable is that someone gave me a fake money. 50 Yuan! Not much now, but at that time it was my half-car money !!! Damn it, hate me not mad at me. Think about how hard it is to get a car of watermelon, so the hard work of many days is a fake coin! I did not respond in a few days. Recently, I was cheated again in the metropolis of Shanghai because I was too stupid and impatient! Are you stupid? Silly! I can't be naive. I want to take revenge, but I still have no intention of hurting people. Is it because I am a charity, or a charity! At this time, I remembered that when Guo Jingchu entered the rivers and lakes in the legend of the Condor Hero, his teachers and husbands set up bureaus to educate him about the dangers of the rivers and lakes. Think about it. I really deal with machines too much, and forget that talent is the most complicated, the best, and the worst. It's all human!

A few days ago, I was listening with headphones in my ears, and the sound was loud. Because I had completely relaxed my vigilance and thought it would be safe. However, at that time, when I was about to turn around on the 27 th Floor, I suddenly found a private car behind me. The car owner looked at me angrily across the window. At that time, his car was less than one meter away from me! My heart is lingering. I looked at the car owner. He seemed to stare at me in the night, but at last he didn't shout out. I think he must say, "Mom, don't want to live !" At that time, I was in a bad mood. I stared at him and said, "Mom, I am in front of me !!!" But I finally did not shout out. Maybe the driver is just the same as me. Think about it later. I think I have something wrong. When I am on the road, it is best not to forget me too much and immerse myself in it. Security is the most important thing. This reminds me of what I said when I got off work. "It's dangerous to ride a bicycle and listen to headphones! Do you just listen to one ?" I smiled and said, "It's okay. I have a proper size. My earphones have broken down in the past few days ." He smiled. "This is a good thing! Haha... "but my earphones are broken, and I am really sad, because I can't do without music. Although I have never had a complete five-tone, it is essential for me to listen to songs every day. After I bought a fake headset for a few days, it broke down again. This time I am not happy, because the fake sound quality is so painful that I want to throw it if it is not bad, well, I am happy to spend 228 yuan to buy a genuine product. Although I feel a little distressed about the money, I just think that I can enjoy music and I am happy again. The headset arrived today, listening to the perfect sound quality again, and feeling comfortable.

I almost got hit by a car. I thought it was really hard for people to survive. Life is too fragile, and it may take a small amount of human life to get it done. It's not easy to live. This reminds me of my own situation. I think I have escaped several times in the dead, and I don't know if there will be a blessing, but it is very fortunate to be able to survive every time.

The first time I wiped my face with my death, I was still a kid who was just running, and I was still wearing an archive pants. My grandmother took me to the Liyuan in the south of the village to see the pears that day. In my impression, the sun was shining on that day, and now we can see the sun at that time. That day, the sun was so long that it was always very interesting and pretty next to a bridge in the south of the village. The bridge has too many memories and too many joys and sorrows. There, I almost failed to make a sequel twice.

The bridge has a huge slope, with an angle of about 20 or 30 degrees and a length of 200 or 300 meters. That day I followed my grandmother, because I was so happy that I ran in front of her, and then somehow went to the center of the road. Then suddenly a carriage was coming from the bridge, A middle-aged woman is driving a car. She should not be able to drive much. When the car goes downhill, the horse, oh, or it should be a donkey. It suddenly gets out of control, it rushed to the bridge and I shouted, "Ah ......! ", Then there is no perception. It was the last time I died, and the least I ever got. I don't know what happened after I was dizzy. I heard later that my grandmother yelled at the lady and said she was not indomitable. My grandmother has never been a grumpy person. I am not like her. Fortunately, the empty car rolled over from my leg. I was neither trampled nor dead. Maybe because I had a brother who died very early, maybe because I was the eldest son of my family, my grandmother loved me a lot. So whenever I recall the past, I miss my grandmother very much. I still remember clearly. When I woke up in the Second Hospital of Chen liuer, I saw the doctor trying to give me a big needle. I cried and shouted, "Grandma, Grandma, I don't have an injection ......"

The second close to death should be in elementary school. I used to take a bath in the ergan River in the south of the village with a few friends. It was still the beautiful bridge. This time it was not the slope but the bridge. Not far from the bottom of the bridge, there was a not-too-deep pit where water rushed out. Although not too deep, it was not too small for me at that time. Although the river has almost cut off, the water depth can still be completely lost. When I went to play with my friends after school, I was a little bold, and then I traveled to a place with a deep water. Suddenly the water depth, my water is not good, and then out of control, I grabbed the water with my hands, two legs, should splash a lot of water flowers. When I was a child, a very good friend came to pull me. I caught his hand and pulled it. He seemed to want to open me. I just didn't let it go. It should be an instinct to survive. Later, my friends complained, "I was almost pulled down by you !" I think it is a bit self-blaming, but I did not think much from instinct at the time. It was a big child who was many years old who helped me save my life. He was tall and had good water. He threw me out without any effort. I really don't know how to thank him for saving my life. However, it is estimated that he has forgotten it many years ago. When I got ashore that day, I thought a lot while sitting at the bridge. Who said the children had no idea? Now I still admire myself at that time. What happened when I was a child, my feelings, many of which I still remember.

The third time was a car accident. It's a single disaster. At that time, I was in high school. After school, I rode my bike home with a classmate from the same village (this gentleman had a lot of fate with me, so we went through junior high school and high school together for over a decade. In the vicinity of qingnian Road on the east side of the village, we were on a side of the road. He was in the south of the North. The middle of the road was a variety of Crop Straw. There should be more corn poles. We chatted while walking. Then I heard a noise behind me. I looked back and saw a motorcycle approaching quickly. I think I should walk on the right side so that I can meet the traffic rules. Then I will start from the south side of the road and ride to the north. I thought there was still a while before, and there should be plenty of time. However, when I was just about to get to the center of the road, I only heard a bang. My bicycle rushed out to the front, and it ran for 10 or 20 meters, however, it took several seconds to fly in the air due to inertia, and then it hit the ground. Fortunately, there was straw on the road. I was busy asking if I had something to do. I patted my body and said it was okay. Because I was a little afraid of the drivers, I didn't say anything that day to push the car. The one who hit me was the one who beat me in the same village. He drank too much that day. When the car collided, his voice was loud, and his father was busy working in the field not far away. He did not know what was going on. When I got to him, I was shocked and didn't know what was going on. When I got home, I described the scene to another friend. My father was right next to him. After he understood it, he was furious and rushed to the other person, I am afraid of him. Then he repeatedly went to the house several times, but the man did not come to my house and asked me if I had any problems. The rear wheel of my car was bent for forty-five degrees, but it was incredible that I was really safe and sound. I remember the moment when I hit the car, I thought more about the conservation of momentum I just talked about in my teacher's class.

These three times are both difficult and difficult, and the other time is relatively small. When I was in elementary school, my left eye was almost hacked. So far, my left eye skin has a clear scar. People who do not know think they have double eyelids, but they are actually scars. It should be in the first grade of elementary school. I was eager to rush from the outside to the room that day. I just opened the door and a friend was rushing out with a stick, the sticks were not skewed, but they just showed me a lot of blood. Fortunately, fortunately, there were still several centimeters away from my eyes. I can't imagine what a single-eyed dragon will become. So when you are unlucky, think about the lucky thing. You can feel some comfort in your heart. This little friend who hurt my eyes, we had an excessively bad time and experience in elementary school, but since graduation, the distance between the two companies is a little different from each other. Just that summer last year, when I went home, I suddenly heard that he was working outside and then suddenly died in the dormitory in the factory. Some people say that he is in a fight, while others say that he is ill. I do not know why, but it is true that he is not here. Think of life as impermanence. I remember when I was about to go to college, he sent a text message asking me.

Time is always passing by. I think my grandmother has been there for nearly two decades, and the small tree in front of my uncle's grave has long been slim. Life is really something that people don't know. Sweet, bitter, bitter, and bitter. I still don't know why I live so much.

Maybe everyone is looking for a sense of presence, and the positioning of the sense of presence should be different. My current sense of presence is that I can be loved by my loved ones, recognized by my friends, cared by those I like, and known by people I don't know. If so, it would be even better.

My sense of presence