Parents three pieces no worries most hurt children heart 90% parents do every day

Scar one: should not be shot and shot-the pain of the flesh most hurt the child's self-esteem

The 5-year-old Xuan Xuan played a great deal of randomness, the teacher said the correct fingering, hand type and requirements in her mind did not leave the slightest trace, as if never learned. Mother in the eyes, anxious in the heart, over and over again reminded of the demonstration, can be declared a non-cooperative attitude, in the piano stool twisted to twist, a while drinking water, a while to the toilet, not two minutes and shouted tired to rest a while.

Error criticism:

The inner rage finally broke through the patience of the bottom line, the mother slapped the past, interact the back of the hand immediately red-persuade education to escalate into force punishment.

The scars left:

Fundamentally speaking, the force punishment can not solve any problem, can only make the contradiction between the two sides intensified, so that it is possible to continue to study in the middle of the stranded, in the parents ' fist, the child's self-esteem is also beaten to a crushing, easy to form Poguanposhuai mentality, even quantitation to all the criticism of the sword, that can really lose. Another direct consequence of it is how you treat your child in the same way that the child treats you and the people around him-the imitation of violence is easy. Because of the parents ' bad example, the first reaction in the mind when the child is confronted with the conflict between himself and the children is "first to be strong".

Education:

Escalate the criticism to "war", that is, the parents are not. Young children have not yet formed a system of self-evaluation, they are by adults, especially parents of their own evaluation to see themselves. Moreover, the fragile heart particularly wants to get the parents ' affirmation, this can give the child self-confidence, also can make them happy to accept the criticism. The art of education lies in the reinforcement, not the negative reinforcement. Instead of reinforcing the child's weakness or outright rejection, it is better to look at the child's drip scores and good signs in the eyes, mind, hanging in the mouth, strengthen its good side, give the necessary guidance, let the children see their potential, enhance self-confidence. Therefore, mother at this time instead of using the "praise-style criticism" method, to find the child's little advantages, first praise after the batch: "Your left hand is more beautiful than the right hand, three fingers than two fingers good-looking, the strength of the feeling mastered good", and then asked: "The right hand can also be as beautiful as the left hand, The speed would be better if it slowed down a bit. Come on, let's have a try, I want to be sure! "Children need to find their differences in comparison and real praise, and if parents affirm a child's success, she will have the confidence to correct her nine mistakes; instead, parents have a rough way of taking a child's mistake, and she is likely to be in no mood to maintain her nine virtues."

Scar two: Shouting--out of control emotion is difficult to give the child the right guidance

Tata every day to make the house turned upside down: toys scattered a place, brush, drawing paper is full of tables, bed also piled up his various gadgets, his favorite book is also nine to ten to want to see when do not know where to go. Many reminders still haven't made Tata any better.

Error criticism:

A mess in the house lit up the anger in her mother's heart: "How many times have I told you, where did you put it back?" You are not a long memory, you do not accept, see I throw them all away! "He pretended to throw away the child's most beloved toy, and then a hurricane of shouting.

The scars left:

It's not your voice. The higher the higher the more immediate effect, the tone and the result is often inversely proportional, and shouting to make the child feel the slightest sense of dignity, but also your self-cultivation growl.

If adults and children are angry, criticism is likely to escalate into crying and scolding, and the effect of education is offset to zero. And the child will soon know, mother said "throw away", but the hands are not really "throw away", the mother's prestige also lost.

Education:

Do not think that your attitude, including the expression, tone and vision is insignificant, only kindness is enough, not in the expression of the idea, the child can not be convinced to accept criticism. Because sometimes they refuse to criticize themselves, but their parents ' attitudes.

To criticize a child calmly can help to maintain a good relationship between parents and children, and also to achieve the purpose of criticism. So, it is better to control their temper, let oneself propitiate.

It is a difficult habit for a child to pack up his own things, and her mother should be patient with Tata. First with the children to clean up, can accept a good thing to encourage. Children are encouraged by mother's affirmation, will slowly learn to organize their own items independently.

Scar Three: chatter--excessive criticism leads to rebellion

Arwen Arwen There is a large box of small beads of various shapes, strung necklace beautiful, but when she saw other children holding a few transparent chess pieces as "glowing pearl" when crying to shout to, the other side does not give, she put the people installed "glowing pearl" small bottles thrown to the ground ...

Error criticism:

Arwen Arwen Move let mother feel very face: "Tell you how many times, how do you not understand?" Can not always look at other people's things good, your home toys are still less? Own things to throw on one side do not play, see others to take something like baby, really worthless ... Next time, I'll never buy you any more toys! ”

The scars left:

Such a rambling, lack of fresh criticism, can not give the child the brain with obvious stimulation, said the more, the child will be more like these words in the ear. Moreover, although the child is small, the ability to comprehend the language is not bad, "good-for-nothing", "possessive" kind of disrespect the child's personality is easy to arouse their inner resentment, Ming or dark and you against the dry, the body of the problem is likely to increase.

Education:

Beautiful and fresh things are a temptation for children, and it is not easy to resist temptation. Therefore, parents may wish to tell the child: she likes the things she does not have wrong, but other people's things we can not want, more cannot rob or destroy. Then tell the child clearly: the world's good things are countless, we can not all have, if special want, you have to rely on their own efforts to fight, such as if the other side willing to, can use their own beautiful beads and children to change.

Parents three pieces no worries most hurt children heart 90% parents do every day