Programmer: before creating a valve, the 'eq pooled First'

I asked myself: "If you want to concentrate the most important experience of your ten years of career into several keywords, what should you do ?" I did my homework. I summarized the key points in my career on paper-success experiences and failure lessons-into keywords, with more than a dozen results. "If they are all keywords, it can only indicate which one is not critical," I said to myself, and I continue to explore the essence of these keywords.Finally, I extracted two ideas and wrote them here for everyone, that is, "cooperation" and "delivery ".Note: Because I amProgramPersonnel, so the two words are finally extracted. If your ambition is to become a leader or business, these two words may not apply to you.

The two words are IQ and EQ.In my opinion, EQ is like a reservoir. It is a reserve of your happiness (in other words, your salary). IQ is equivalent to the valve of this pool, determines how much happiness you can release now (how much money you earn now ). Software developers (all nations around the world) have low IQ and are experts who create valves, but if you do not pay attention to the cultivation of emotional intelligence, it will lead to no water in your pool. It is embarrassing that the valve with a huge caliber can only drips a small stream. On the other hand, in my ten years of development, I had been improving my delivery capability in the first seven years, that is, learning and improving technology. In the next three years, I began to consciously pay attention to the development of cooperation capabilities. In addition, it was not until I mastered the skills of working with people that I had a great pleasure in this industry.

The cultivation of EQ is a big topic. It is not a short article, but it does not prevent me from sharing my skills in improving my EQ. I have summed up these skills after experiencing great setbacks. I sincerely hope that you will gain some benefits and never experience the pains I have ever experienced.

I wonder if you feel like this: In the programmer's world, the stability of network connections is more important than the stability of interpersonal relationships. The quality of Code is more important than that of interpersonal relationships ...... This is not everyone's fault, but the software industry itself advocates the quality culture, so interpersonal relationships are naturally arranged in the future. The discussion on code quality often involves the division of "Right and Wrong" and "excellent and inferior" results, and the Division of results often involves reputation and performance. Therefore, discussing technical issues in the team or performing code review is a matter of emotional intelligence skills. If we put "quality culture" first and ignore others' feelings, the listener will feel arrogant and aggressive, and the speaker will feel unmodest and unreasonable, interpersonal relationships will be hurt.

[my skills are as follows]

1. always puts good interpersonal relationships first : for quality problems, before the exit or email is sent, read it from the receiver's perspective and think about it: "If I am a receiver, will it be sad? Will it be embarrassing? Will there be misunderstandings ?"

2.Soft description, slow description, proof description: When I point out the problem, I will start with this: "Maybe I'm not thinking about it. You can see here ......" Or "I have an inspiration, maybe it's useful to you ......". When I want to point out a problem to my colleagues, I will not say that at least 15 minutes after the problem is discovered, because the original and aggressive impulse in the brain has passed, the words you say or the e-mail language you write are naturally organized and peaceful. More importantly, I will not make mistakes when talking on my own-the common interpersonal storm in the team is wrong. Sometimes you may also encounter stubborn colleagues. At this time, I will give him a situation, let him realize that his code will go wrong in this situation, or you can find a similar problem from the bug library, basically, we can get things done without hurting people. Never use the book as a reference. This will give people a sense of being too bad to find things.

3. Once you find that the other party is not rational, immediately stop yourself ".The other party is not rational. This is a strong sign of interpersonal conflicts. If it continues to grow, it may hurt cooperation. At this time, no matter what issues I discuss, I will immediately stop. Of course, this stop is also a soft way to "Soft Landing". If I say, "Forget it, if I don't tell you, "or break the door, it's like a formal war. My principle is: If you find that the other party is not rational, most of them will make the other party unreasonable, stop immediately, check yourself, find out and eliminate problems, bring everyone back to the rational track.

My current team is a multinational cooperation team from China, the United States, India, Romania ...... Every day, I use the above three skills to communicate through interviews, phone calls, emails, and meetings, and almost never experienced problems. After using these skills skillfully, I found that my delivery capability was greatly guaranteed. (PS: Intense interpersonal relationships not only make you unable to get help, but also give you some tricks and your delivery capability will be compromised .)

To be honest, these skills are not invented by me. Some are from the book, some are taught by friends (thanks to Andy and Bob), and some are learned by myself. Based on your own shortcomings, these three skills are the most useful to me. Maybe you have done quite well in these aspects, so you may need to explore other skills. To help you explore the skills that suit you, I will list the books that help me the most here. They are:

·Theunwritten rules of friendship
·Radicalcollaboration
·Crucialconversations
·Cai gentan

[Conclusion]
At the end of the short article, I would like to share my sincere feelings: a job with a sense of accomplishment plus good interpersonal relationships is a solid foundation for happiness. We sincerely hope that you will have both superb development technologies and a broad network of contacts and good interpersonal relationships.

 

from: http://liutiemeng.blog.51cto.com/120361/95286