Really messy (switched from csdn)

1. Mr. Nan huaijin, the master of Chinese Studies, proposed the five conditions for a general: the same robustness as a cow, the same mean as a dog (the ability to bend and stretch), the same cunning as a fox, and the same savvy as a monkey, the charm of the devil. (In fact, every boss is a general .)
2. Mr. Nan huaijin said: Some people go out to do business. I told him in eight words that this is the principle of making money: Money is like life, and the website is like nails, standing there holding the stalls like nails on the ground doesn't even matter if you even eat. You can endure it and make money so that you can make a fortune.

3. Yan Jiehe: "First-class entrepreneurs do not do things, second-class entrepreneurs do things, and third-class entrepreneurs do things only things ."

"First-class businessmen are savvy and well-intentioned, second-class businessmen are savvy and savvy, and third-class businessmen are generous and well-intentioned ."

"First-class enterprises are engaged in culture, second-class enterprises are engaged in brands, and third-class enterprises are engaged in projects ." "China is gold everywhere"-how can we earn what entrepreneurs do and how they do business.

4. This is a specialty of Niu Gensheng. His latest practice is to donate all his shares to the old ox Foundation after his death ". Before that, Niu Gensheng often said: "My mother gave me education. The two words she asked me to give me an unforgettable record, one of which is, 'if you want to know, to put it upside down, the other sentence is: "If you lose, you are a blessing. If you take advantage of it, you are a curse '."

"This world is not a world of human rights, a world of rich people, but a world of human heart. 'People with a heart' are good at 'three major thes': doing things, doing things, and making a city ."

5. The major companies collectively went to Africa to see elephants, but they were boring. So Gates said who would make the elephants cry and then laugh, and then they would give them $0.1 billion for two steps! At this moment, Chinese PwC's friends walked up to the elephant with confidence and said, "I'm from PwC ." Even elephants know that puhua has worked hard. Then he said to the elephant, "but this time I came to Africa to count elephants ." Elephants are happy, because PwC's style is not four or six, and it relies entirely on auditing. Finally, he said to the elephant, "I plan to recruit several elephants to return to the company when I come to Africa ." As a result, the elephant ran around while crying ......

6. Two diners go to work at IBM, and the boss says, "If you eat at the company, you will be fired immediately !" After three months, everyone had nothing to worry about. One day, the boss called the two men to the office and shouted, "TMD, tell you not to eat people. You have to eat them again. You don't have to come to work tomorrow !" When the diners packed up and left IBM, one of them couldn't help but scold the other: "How many times have you been told that we have a department manager every day for three months, nothing happened. You ate a cleaner yesterday and today they discovered it!"

7. Tongji Law Department final examination: "How is the difference between the 'law' and 'law' in the term 'law ?" A female student replied, "Of course it is different. If I tell my mom that my boyfriend is a 'lawyer, she will be very happy. If I say that my boyfriend is a 'mag ', she will definitely kill me!"

8. Overseas overseas return students are referred to as turtles, but now there is fierce competition in employment and work is not so easy to find. Many overseas students are unemployed once they return home, so now they have a new word-kelp. There are also those who have nowhere to play, and are known as pirates as piracy dealers. It is said that there is another person who throws his hair because of his lack of talent. He is called hai gonggong. Cough, too messy.

9. He is always cutting people, short for the President; he is always straight-faced, so he is called the boss; he often ignores people and often makes no sense. That is called a manager.

10. Profound Meanings of comments from the Personnel Department: 1. ordinary employees (not too smart); 2. excellent (no mistakes yet); 3. good at social networking (drinking); 4. strong observation ability (small reports often); 5. enthusiasm for work attitude (stubborn); 6. agile thinking (can quickly find excuses); 7. enterprising (usually invite everyone to dinner); 8. the logic of complex work is clear (the work can be pushed to others); 9. strong judgment ability (Good luck); 10. strong professionalism (in the dark); 11. easygoing (can be dismissed at any time); 12. model employees (on time at work); 13. good at releasing pressure (sleep at work); 14. work first (ugly); 15. strong independent work ability (no one knows what he is doing); 16. long term (always delayed ).

11. Your resume may be thrown into the trash when you turn around, and your business card may be used to pack chewing gum ...... Even a love letter may be lost in the wind, read in public, laughed at, ignored, thrown into the trash, and used as an origami airplane ...... Love is one of the most precious things in human life. In this world, hundreds of millions of love is happening, but how high is the chance of beautiful love? On our planet, countless people have endured the pain of parting with those who love each other and gathering with those who hate each other. Countless people love each other and hate each other. Countless people have gone through disconnections and divorce ...... Even the chance of good love is not high, not to mention sales promotion and job search! (From "you are a million excellent soldiers")

12. A college graduate is only looking for a job, not a career, or a career.

-- At the first Chinese College Students' Employment Summit held in Beijing, experts believed that college graduates should lower their expectations and be prepared for employment from blue-collar and gray-collar workers.

13. They think that an MBA is like a beauty salon. after they finish the MBA, they will be radiant and reborn.

-What worries experts is that MBA has been simplified to high salaries and promotions in China.

14. 8 points of talent, 9 points of use, very well.

-- Yin mingshan, Chairman of Lifan group, talked about how to keep people in private enterprises.

15. The true meaning of iron rice bowl is not to eat food for a lifetime in one place, but to eat food wherever it is.

-- A post circulating on the Internet.

16. Some people say, "It's better to get up early than a chicken, to get tired than a donkey, to eat worse than a pig, to get down late than a lady, but now it's worse than a beggar ." Although somewhat extreme, it has aroused the deep thoughts and resonance of the vast majority of teachers !!! "There are two meals in the house, not a child king!

17. If you want to hide your ambitions and tell everyone in the world with great fanfare that you want to take the job as your boss, it is tantamount to declaring war on your colleagues and even your boss. --- The enterprise boss reluctantly reminds me of his subordinates after hearing their ambitions

18. Three-stream companies sell labor, two-stream companies sell products, first-class companies sell technology, and super-class companies sell standards. --- A popular saying in the Communication Industry

19. At the end of the year, the boss gave me a bonus. When he gave me a packet of red packets, he suddenly expressed his true feelings and said, "I really want to give it to you !!!"

20. The boss shouted at the half-year manager's summary meeting: Don't be nice, you must be able to grab money!

21. The most difficult thing in the world is to do business, so that others are willing to take out the money in his pocket for you. The easiest thing in the world is to be an official. You just move your mouth and others are disconnected!

22. A boss once said to me: you have to adapt to your boss, but you cannot expect your boss to adapt to you. The reason for this is that he followed the rule to take the job of the boss, and this sentence is also the mantra of his former boss.

23. "I drink for my boss and for the people," said the driver of drunk driving, who received punishment from the traffic police.

24. China Mobile immediately responded to the campaign launched by China Unicom with Jay Chou's grandfather as an image spokesperson named "Sun Tzu just play the dynamic zone" and claimed that Yao Ming had signed a contract with his father, we are about to launch a large-scale promotion of the slogan "Son new time and space, Lao Tzu global pass. Then, China Unicom hired Professor Yang zhenning, A 82-Year-Old newlyweds, as the new image spokesperson. The promotion slogan was: "I can still! "In order to counter the attacks, China Mobile immediately asked mrs. Weng fan of Yang zhenning to serve as the new image spokesperson." You can't, I can call you! "(Rumors of rivers and lakes)

25. "The director ruled China"-the evaluation of the director's power by the director of the National People's Congress management department.

26. Top ten hateful bosses

The following statements about corporate CEOs are listed in a descending order:

10. What should I do if I want to do anything?

The ninth sentence is a scam.

8. Do not fall in love within the company

7. Why are you so stupid?

Sixth, I will not check the process as a result.

Fifth, young people should talk about dedication

Fourth, as long as I have money, my master's doctor will work for me.

The third sentence is that you will do it and will not leave.

The second sentence is your internal work.

I want to increase my salary, right? Many people are laid off outside!

27. At a graduation ceremony, Bill Gates gave 11 life-related suggestions for graduates, which may be enlightening to us:

It's unfair to everyone in life. Get used to it!

The world will not care about your self-esteem. The world expects you to make achievements first and then emphasize your feelings.

⒊ You won't have a million yuan in salary at the beginning, and you won't be the vice president of mobile phones right away. You have to work hard to make money.

If you think your teacher is fierce, You will know when you have a boss that your boss may be worse than your teacher, and the boss has no term of office restrictions.

When I cook a hamburger at a fast food restaurant, it is not my own practice. Your grandfather has a completely different definition of a hamburger: Opportunity.

If nothing happens to you, it's not your parents's fault. Therefore, do not complain about your mistakes, but learn from them.

Before you were born, your parents were not as boring as they are now because they were busy paying for your expenses, washing your clothes, and hearing how amazing you were. So before you save the tropical rain forest damaged by your parents, sort out your room.

The primary node may have winners and losers in school, but it is too early to say in life. The school may give you the opportunity to find the correct answer, but it is totally different in your real life.

Life is not an academic system, and there is no winter or summer vacation in life. No employer is interested in helping you find yourself. Please use your free time to do this.

TV is not a real life. In real life, everyone has to leave the cafe to go to work.

NLP is a little better for nerd, and you may be working for one of them in the future.