Secrets in communication-second, correct communication notes

1. Make preparations beforehand
Before communicating with others, you must prepare in advance, imagine the other party's possible response, and design different solutions based on different responses.
Case: when talking to the boss about salary, the boss may have the following reaction: The boss can't say anything about the evil spirits, the hard-hearted saying that the company's finances are not allowed, and the boss will discuss it later, you must have a mature solution to improve the success rate of communication.
My feelings: As the saying goes, cloud: making a decision and then moving, Sun Tzu's Art of War regards the article as the first article, so we can know the importance of planning in advance, communication, and human affairs, detailed planning in advance is essential. All possible situations are taken into account before communication, so that you can take the initiative and express your thoughts during communication.

2. correct expression
During communication, you must pay attention to the expressions and speaking skills. You must clearly present your ideas and opinions to the other party. For sharp proposals, you must put forward them in a more euphemistic manner, make it easier for the other party to accept.
Case 1: I want to resign and find another job suitable for my development. My parents don't agree and I think it is more stable to work on the original job. We should communicate with our parents to clarify the reasons and causes for changing jobs, and give them a commitment and guarantee that they will be able to develop better in new jobs.
Case 2: After teaching a knowledge point, the teacher often says: Do you understand? This is not a good way of communication. A better statement is: Are you clear? In other words, the tone is more euphemistic and the listener is more willing to accept it.
Case 3: when others do one thing, do not say that the other party is not doing well. We should point out where the other party is not doing well and how it can be improved. The general criticism will only lead to resentment from others, and detailed opinions will make the other party admire from the bottom of their hearts.
My feelings: there is a saying that "workplace is a three-point communication technology". Good communication can not only pass your opinions to the other party, but also draw closer your relationship with the other party. Pay attention to the time, place, and method of communication. When communicating, pay attention to the advantages and disadvantages, and put forward your own opinions in a rational manner. For example, when you ask questions in the workplace, do not ask what to do with this question. You need to give yourself a solution and ask the other party for advice.

3. post-event feedback
After the communication, you must understand the communication results in a timely manner and make secondary confirmation. Secondary confirmation is a further verification of the previous ideas presented to the other party, which ensures that your ideas are delivered to the other party without any errors.
Case: Leo uses the case of himself and the publisher as an example. Leo figured out a set of three-step books for programmers in the workplace. He hoped that the sizes of the three books would be the same. In this way, when the three books were published, they could be made into a hardcover package, but no further confirmation was made, as a result, the second book is 1 cm bigger than the first one. If Leo and the publisher confirm it again, this situation can be completely avoided.
Personal feelings: due to different personal thoughts, conversations between people are very ambiguous. How can we ensure that the information received by the other party is what you want to express? I think there are the following points: 1. Ask the other party if I have made it clear; 2. Ask the other party to repeat their views to find the difference; 3. You can also present your opinion again. In software development, the spiral model is also a process of continuous feedback. documents such as requirement analysis often need to be modified multiple times. In fact, it can also be understood as secondary confirmation or even multiple confirmations.

Answer questions
1. What should I do before communication?
I think the first thing is information collection, such as the character and hobby of the other party. Only when I know each other and know each other can I be defeated. I can imagine the other party's possible response and develop multiple response plans. The second is information preparation, if you want to persuade the other Party, it is best to come up with objective data and evidence to support their own views. Finally, you must give yourself a clear picture of the possible consequences.

2. are the three elements correctly expressed?
In my opinion, first, we need to clarify the purpose of expression, that is, what effect do you want to achieve through this expression; second, we need to select an appropriate expression, for example, you should select a proper time and place to express your suggestions to your superiors, and accept the opinions of the other parties and discuss countermeasures together when expressing your suggestions to the subordinates; third, pay attention to the feedback in the expression, that is, whether your information is correctly transmitted to the other party. In the expression, you can ask if I have made it clear.

3. What are the functions of Secondary confirmation?
I think the biggest role of secondary confirmation is to reduce the misunderstanding of information, because communication between people is affected by many aspects, such as semantic expressions, environmental factors, and psychological factors, obtaining feedback from the other party can ensure correct communication. Secondary confirmation of important information can also enhance the impression of the other party and reduce the possibility of errors.

Finally, I would like to talk about a question Leo asked at the end. The question is as follows: how can communication be in place? Leo's answer includes two points: first, lowering the peer's level, that is, believing that the Peer does not know anything and that everything is detailed; second, asking the Peer to repeat it again after completion, to confirm that the information has been correctly transmitted. I only partially agree with the first point of view, because communication should be divided into objects, so we cannot treat superiors like this. It is the best way to communicate simply and concisely, and highlight the key points.