The best and most complete Garfield quotes

The best and most complete Garfield quotes

Fat Cat 21:02:15

This quote was collected for my male as "Garfield of 1/3" and arranged according to the system of "Shishuo Xinyu". I prepared the appendix at the end of the book. However, the editors of the publishing house later broke it up and spilled it into the entire book as spices, and only a part of it was used. I am not willing to waste it, so I will paste it here. Lucky to everyone, it is the most complete version so far. Thank you. I will smile. The cat speaks new words In China, Garfield is like a popular idol. Everyone knows this fat cat with a bad smile, but he has read his cartoons and cartoons carefully. The Hollywood remake can only be a poor one. If anyone thinks it's okay, this person is definitely not a real Garfield fan. In my opinion, Garfield is able to capture a large number of fans, not unrelated to its quotations circulating on the Internet. It is funny. Only the quotations from Mr Han qiaosheng are worthy of the competition among the hairless and twenty mammals. The intelligence in it exceeds the total number of works on any of the best-selling lists. Of course, this is not the case if Garfield 1/3 is listed in the best-selling book list. According to the system of Shishuo Xinyu, I have categorized and revised many quotations of Garfield. The two seem different, but it makes sense to do so. Wang Xiaozhi's East bed has a carefree posture and is quite garfi's style. Bi Mao shiyun: "A Hand Held crab wine, a hand held wine glass, floating liquor pool, it will be enough for a lifetime ." This kind of ambition can be confirmed with Garfield. Zhou ziju changyun: "When the moon does not see Huang Shu du, then the heart of disdain has been born again ." My praise for gafei is similar to this: "If you do not read gafei, you will be born again with disdain ." Virtue first Never tell them that I have done a good job. This will affect my image! Oudi, let's eat ice cream, but you have to watch me eat it. I should be very polite to ODI (kicking ODI). Sorry, Odi. Now I have done it. 　　 "It's a pity that oudy is shaking out the window. I really cannot bear to see him like this. No, can I ignore it? I have to do something ." Garfield pulled the curtain. In the future, I will never be sorry for Odi ...... Maybe, maybe not forever. I have to say sorry to ODI (then ODI stood by the table and walked over and kicked it down .) Now let's say two things. Some people call this laziness, and I call it "thinking. I'm fat, I'm lazy, but I'm proud! Some cats hunt down mice, but I 'd rather take legal action. JON: Grab the mouse and kill it. GARFIELD: I'm an educated cat, so I don't do that brutal thing. Why do people always want us to eat mice? This mouse may be the mother of a group of children, or a teacher in the mouse class ...... Some people say that I am so vicious to oudi. Heaven and earth! I like him very much. If I lie, let lightning ...... Beat the dog next door! Yagu second My appetite is my own business. I feel like there is a skinny kitten in my body ...... I feel hungry. JON: "Garfield, guess what I brought you ?" GARFIELD: Whatever it is, you only need to eat it. Jon, if you guess how many chocolate beans are there, everything in the jar will be yours. I guess you have eaten them all. You guessed it! I only eat four meals a day ...... Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. The most lovely thing is a small table with a pork roll. I am not a big ghost, and I don't eat anything. I am just a behavior artist (pointing to the food in front of me) and I am finishing my work. This hamburger tastes good, but it is not as good as the first eight. From now on, I will not be greedy, but just love to eat. The speed at which cats rush to food is proportional to the amount of food. JON: Garfield! Didn't you say you only eat at three o'clock P.M? Now it's five! GARFIELD: Yes, I mean it's three o'clock P.M., but I didn't say which day it was. , (GAFI opened his mouth as big as possible, and then measured with a ruler) Jon, my birthday cake is so big. 3rd Award "There is a difference between cabbage and pocket watches, and cabbage cannot tell us the time," Garfield said. You have a cabbage head !" The problem with dogs is that they do not have an on/off switch. A pretty lady told Jon that you are cute, and you asked me what's wrong! Nature is illustrated by a creature like a dog. Our life is not the worst. Great invention in Garfield's eyes: Remote Control Sleep sofa Dog repellent Old girl (Scratch) Bread Microwave Oven Coffee Pizza Cartoon cartoon Pizza cooked in a microwave oven Garfield pets: Goldfish: "It's clean, quiet, and appetizing ." Spider: "It's not a pet. It's a nightmare ." Mouse: "It's cute, but they don't like you without cheese ." Dog: "loving, loyal, panting can scare the oX ." Cat: "The most perfect pet in nature, should I say more ?" The refrigerator can eat a big meal in a cool place. A small piece of pizza paradise. Everyone should love animals because they are delicious. Oh? Eat mice? If you already have pasta in the world, what else do you want to eat a mouse ?! Why do people like toy bears? This is because of their personality. They don't eat your stuff, they don't dance with the girl you asked for, and they don't grab your limelight. A group of mice: Hey! Garfield, we have sent you your favorite apple pie! GARFIELD: Great! Why are you so nice to me? Little Mouse: we are very happy to be with you. If you leave, the host will find a real cat. JON: "Garfield, do you know? Are all creatures evolved from the lowest level ?" GARFIELD: "I don't know that ...... Wow! That's right. I fully understand it! For example, dogs evolved from stones ." If the brain of the dog is a car, it is a scrap car. Rule 4 Love me, feed me, don't leave me. Can you speak Chinese in English? Otherwise, let alone anything. JON: Pizza is a girl. GARFIELD: a female pizza courier ?...... Marry her! 　　 You can let the kitten leave the pie, but you cannot let the pie leave the kitten. 　　 If you don't want anyone to eat anything, you have to let it think about something. Garfield's diet tips: 1) Don't try to get enough food for the second round. 2) Adjust the zero point of the scale to a negative value of 5 kilograms. 3) Never eat sugar. 4) do not make friends with friends who open a restaurant or cake shop. 5) to lose weight, you should eat more vegetables. Therefore, you should eat more pumpkin pies and vegetable cookies. 6) cold meals should not be eaten more (except ice cream ). 7) leave a few for each meal. Don't eat all your stomachs. For example, the cherry on the ice cream sundae. 8) mostly with people who are fatter than you. Garfield's sleep experience: Snacks can stay awake in the middle of the night. Don't care about all the sounds under the bed. Regular nap, easy to fall asleep at night Watching documentaries ensures you are sleeping. Find a toy bear lying in the quilt that does not look bulging. Do not use water beds for people who throw their claws during sleep. Garfield hates camping in the wild for the following reasons: The pizza cannot be sent there. It may be an exception. Jon's voice and voice have been badly adjusted. The battery TV has poor reception performance. Too many bugs and too few refrigerators. Garfield's secret about cats: The more you don't want to tidy up the cat, the more it will make a mess for you. The most suitable place for a cat to take a nap is any place that can take a nap. The cat's courage is as strong as the dog chain. You can train cats, but usually cats are training you. Cats are not sulking; they are all attacks immediately. Cats can hear canned meat 18 kilometers away. (After miserable violin music) Hi! Raise your head in height and stride forward! You want to prove to people that you are not a bully ,. It is far from enough to hold a bird in your hand. Garfield was waiting for dinner at the dinner table, but Jon was busy going out. GARFIELD: Hi, have you forgotten anything important? You know, in some States it is a serious crime not to cook breakfast for cats. If you cannot defeat your enemies, join them. I don't lie down every time I finish eating. Sometimes I lie down while I eat, and some changes in my life will increase the pleasure. The person who fails is characterized by continuous failure. If you want to see his failure, he will not disappoint you. To save water, try to take a bath with your girlfriend. Love your neighbor with your heart, but don't let her husband know. Don't wait until tomorrow when you fail to make an excuse. You need to find a new one today. Love is like a photo, which requires a lot of time for cultivation. There should be a better way to start a new day, instead of waking up every morning. The status of two people is unstable, and the status of three people is! "Your current dream determines your future. All the things worth doing are worth doing. GAFI said to Jon, who has never been a girl, "can you ask her out so that she can reject you straight away, and then let's continue our lives? JON: Garfield, you have been in the house for too long. How can I interest you outdoors? GARFIELD: You can move him to the house. That's all. You can capture my hair, insult my mother, beat my dog, play with my rubber mouse, but you are not allowed to eat my food, not to sleep in my bed! Last 5 GARFIELD: A long time ago, there was a little girl ...... She ...... She's ugly, just like nothing in the refrigerator! It's not terrible to have a big belly. What's terrible is that there are no good things in your stomach. Sphere is also body. Garfield saw the puppy oudi ran into an ancient castle and followed in. Open a door, and a hall is covered in the dark. Garfield shouted, "Audi !" Echo (gradually weak): "odiodiodi" Garfield shouted, "Where are you ?" Echo (or gradually weak): "Where are you? Where are you? Where are you ?" Garfield thought: It sounds good. Garfield continues to shout, "Garfield is the most beautiful and handsome cat in the world !" Echo (more and more strong): "It's impossible to say anything nonsense" JON: Garfield, I don't want to say you're fat, but the pleats on your chin are almost in the dictionary. "Garfield, you said ...... What if fat is regarded as a kind of beauty ?" "What do you mean? Kiddie ?" Garfield is often recognized by mistake ...... Tiger-striped hippo A hill with a long hair Pumpkin with legs Jiewu sixth Garfield is certainly not born for a pork roll, but it must have been made for Garfield. Love always goes fast and fast, and only pork rolls are permanent. Money is not omnipotent, and sometimes credit cards are needed. If you come later in the morning, I will like it. There is a woman behind every successful man. There are two behind every unsuccessful man. There are many more important things in the world than money, such as pasta. What is life? Life is like taking a hot bath. It is very comfortable to wash, but the longer you wash, the more wrinkled your skin. HOST: Please share your thoughts on TV ads. GARFIELD: in general, it takes too long to sit down and take too short to go to the bathroom. The children in the back row will have an accident, and the children in the back row will have an accident. Smart people are unmarried, and it is difficult for them to be smart. A happy bachelor will get married sooner or later. Happiness is not permanent. The trouble with chocolate is: if you eat it, it will be gone. Laziness is a bit attractive, that is, it will be done without learning. Hard work will not lead to death! However, I will not prove it by myself. Interesting job! Especially when someone else works. God decides who is your relative. Fortunately, he gives you room for choosing a friend. Besides eating and sleeping, life may have other meanings, but I don't think it's good. There are three things in the world that will take a long time to come: birthday, Christmas ...... And the person who delivers the pizza. Today, I want to implement push-ups ....... There is nothing more comfortable than reading newspapers while drinking steaming coffee. It would be better if I could understand it. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why did you learn? I made a wish to the stars. I don't really believe it, but it is free, and there is no evidence that it does not work. There is a Chinese "National fat man Week. "Do not exercise", this will make you feel better. No one has ever laughed while exercising, so those who exercise are not happy. There is a joke about "National fat man Week": How many thin people can be installed in a tub? One cannot be installed, because they all leak into the sewer. Seventh birthday I have slept beautifully. for 16 hours, I like to have a short sleep. Jon, take me to the veterinarian! I am awake every 12 or 13 hours. My weight is my own business. I just weigh like an aircraft carrier, (First sentence in the early morning of New Year's Day) This year I decided to sleep for no more than eight hours a day !...... In this case, multiply the hour by 365, and then divide it by 24... 15... 121.5 days. (To Jon) Wake me up on April 9! "Well, Garfield, we are again outside the beautiful world. Listen to the voice of nature ." "I heard it! I heard it! Nature said: "Garfield, you are far away from your warm bed and TV set ."" Garfield asked for three wishes: "The first is a pork roll, the second is a pork roll, and the third is a pork roll. Oh, you are wrong. I want more wishes, in this way, I can get more pork slice." 　　 Jon is taking a bath while Garfield is sleeping. Garfield complained: Those singing while taking a bath should be taken to the street and shot. JON: this is a photo of me and Garfield going to the park. This is Garfield sitting with a $ three hundred bird. I am paying a total of $ three hundred for Garfield's lunch ...... "Garfield, do you really want to send me a parcel to Abu Dhabi ?" "No, narman, I won't. I will use a slow copy to make it cheaper ." Do you think it is easy to sleep for 18 times a day ?! Today is Monday. Everything is wrong. What should I do? Oh, I know. (Play ody, and ody is floating in the air) Ah! Today, even the gravity of the earth is gone. 　　 GAFI put an ice cream in his hand and said, "Audi, do you want to lick it? ODI is very happy and looks forward to gafei with sincerity. GAFI stretched out his tongue and lapped it on ODI's face. He continued to eat ice cream ...... Jon said: Garfield, your problem is that you think you are a human. GARFIELD: You're right. I have to find a way to overcome this feeling of inferiority. JON: Garfield, etc. Most spider is harmless. GARFIELD: You're right, especially the one that's dead. JON: "Garfield, you are the lazy cat in the world !!" GARFIELD: "You didn't know my grandfather. He is very lazy. He even gets up and eats. He directly throws his false teeth into the refrigerator ." I fell asleep at dinner. That's right. I have reached the peak of laziness. How frustrating it is! After reaching the peak, there will be no good struggle.