The folk joke gathers

1. Husband pay, take home ready to please his wife.

And he said to his wife, "Honey, I'm paid." Give me your kiss and the money is yours. ”

The wife was slow to remain indifferent. Husband saw his wife did not respond.

Shouted again: "If you do not come again I will go to find someone to wait for me, and give her all the money." ”

The wife lightly back to a sentence: "If you dare to go, the money you are how to spend, I will earn back." ”

2. The wife suddenly asked her husband: "Do you Love Me?" "Love, of course, love!" The husband did not hesitate to answer. The wife thought and asked: "Are you afraid to hurt me to say?" "The husband hurriedly said:" No, no, I was afraid you hurt me to say. ”

3. Xiao Ming's maths is not good for his parents transfer to a church school. After half a year, math scores are all a. Mother asked, "is the nun good at teaching?" Is the textbook good? Is it prayer? "Neither," said Xiao Ming, "on the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the plus sign and I knew ... They are playing with the truth. ”

4. In the public toilets, suddenly heard the toilet room someone Talk: "Man, have toilet paper?" ”

I turned over my pocket: "Sorry, No." ”

After a few seconds, the man asked, "Is there a small piece of paper?" ”

I smiled helplessly: "Sorry, no, I just came to pee." ”

A few seconds later, the toilet room door slipped a 10 yuan: "Can you help me to replace 10 pieces of 1?" ”

I handed over the money, and a roar came from the toilet room: "Don't give me 10 coins!" ”

5. 20 years ago, Dad held you waiting for the bus, people laugh at the child ugly, dad cried. A banana-selling grandpa patted Dad said: "Big Brother Don't Cry, take a banana to eat it!" It's pathetic, and the hungry are all out of hair. ”

6. In the words of a woman, she bought a female parrot on a whim. Did not expect to bring home, it said the first sentence is: "Want to sleep with me?" ”

Lady A Listen, thought: "Bad, outsiders thought this is my teaching, this does not put my lady image completely destroyed." So she tried to try to make the parrot to say something elegant, but the female parrot is Iron heart, will only say a word: "Want to sleep with me?" ”

...... What do we do? When the lady lost her claim, she heard that the priest had a parrot (male), and that the parrot, not only rude, but a devout believer, most of the time every day in prayer. So the lady went to the priest for help. The priest understand her intention, after the little difficult to say: "This, it is difficult to do ah, in fact, the parrot, also did not deliberately teach it what, it is so pious, it may be long-term in this affected by the sake of it." ”

When the priest saw the lady very frustrated, he said, "Well, you brought the parrot to me, and I put them together." Hope that after a period of time, your parrot can be affected. I can only do this, there is no effect, to see God's will ... "

The lady listens, also can only this, not have a sentence to say: Jinzhuzhechi? Give it a try. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest put two parrots together in accordance with his promise. Start the female parrot still some formality, see that the male parrot in the corner of the cage, silent prayer, still really can't bear to disturb. But she still can't control herself, finally broke into said: "Want to sleep with me?" “

The male parrot heard this, stopped praying, turned to look at the mother parrot, suddenly shed tears: "Thank God, I prayed for so many years of hope finally realized ..."

7. Youth Trek Deep Mountains, through the dangers, finally found the Hermit Mountain Zen master, he can't wait to ask: "I am ugly, what should I do?" ”

"To be ugly should be like me." ”

The youth nodded: "Inner peace, alone?" ”

"No, ugly looks like me hurriedly to find a deep mountain hide up." ”

8. I female, before more than 140 Jin, now thin down.

A day ready to go out to find the phone, so take dad phone call me, call the old dad on the phone gorgeous show "big Fat pig" three words.

9. Suddenly power outage, "Big hot day, also let people live, really annoying." "I complained.

But the son smiling to say: "I think the power outage is also very good." ”

Listen to him so, it is more angry: "Hot, power outage what good ah?" You know that nonsense! ”

My son was trained to lower his head, muttered: "I will not have to do the power outage ..."

10. Fisherman in the evening fishing back, see Son is with the neighbor's girl in the Nets in the intimacy, fisherman anger asked: "What are you doing?"

Son smiled, said: "Dad, you do not understand, we call this network love!"

11. A school let buy study materials, everyone is 7 dollars, I want to let myself a little pocket money to spend a mouth will be 10 pieces, the result of mother don't believe me, ran to ask the classmate opposite the home, then that the heart was disturbed almost to tell the truth.

I did not think that mom came back and said: "A look at class did not listen to the teacher, they are clearly 12!" ”

12. The subway was overcrowded, but the girls would rather stand than sit by my side. There was no one to sit on until I got to the station. "Is it because I'm handsome enough to get them deer to bump into me and not come near me?" Should I wear a mask to go out next time? ”

I put my socks on and got off and I was thinking.

13. After unremitting efforts, I quit the habit of playing mobile phone before bedtime, but I do not know how long it can persist, can not sleep forever!

14. --The study of the order of Chinese characters is not set a can read, such as when you finish reading this sentence, only the word is all chaotic.

15. One evening at the river, ah Q to his girlfriend said: I can speak a word to make you laugh. Girlfriend said no letter. A q at this time, went to a ha eight dog in front, plop down on the ground, only listen to a shout: Dad. The result drew laughter from all the prophets. Ah Q back to the girlfriend again shouted: Mom.

16. A man ran into the compartment and shouted in a hurry: "There's a wife in the next compartment who passed out, who brought whiskey?" ”

Soon some of the passengers took out the whiskey.

The man took over. Drank a few big mouth, then the wine bottle also gives the passenger way: "Thank you very much, I this person sees the lady faint to be uncomfortable, this is much better." ”

17. The first day, the small white Rabbit to the river fishing, nothing to catch, go home.

The next day, the little White Rabbit went to the river fishing, or nothing to catch, go home.

The third day, the small white Rabbit just to the river, a big fish jumped out from the river, directed at the small white Rabbit shouted:

If you dare to use Hu Luo as bait again, I will beat you to death!

18. Customer: "How come you don't drink alcohol?" ”

The waiter took a smell: "Ah, really sorry, forgot to give you wine." ”

The folk joke gathers