the first basic skill to get along with people
1, if you want to harvest honey, do not take the hive1) criticism will not change the facts, but may provoke resentment. 2) The humiliation caused by criticism often makes the mood of employees, relatives and friends greatly depressed, and there is no benefit to the reality that should be rectified. 3) Try to get to know others rather than scold them, and try to think in your own way-why they do it. This is more useful and interesting than criticizing and blaming, and it makes people feel compassion, patience and kindness.
2. Sincerely appreciate others1) There is only one way to motivate others to do anything-give him what he wants. 2) in your daily life journey, don't forget to leave a little praise for the warmth of the world, this little spark will ignite the flame of friendship. 3) Emerson said: "Every person I meet is more or less my teacher because I learned something from them." ”
3, inspire the strong demand of others1) There is only one way to influence others, to ask for their needs, and to let them know how to obtain them. 2) A successful interpersonal relationship is the ability to capture your opponent's point of view, and to see one thing take into account the different perspectives of you and each other. 3) be able to put yourself in the shoes of others and know what others are thinking about, and never worry about the future.
the second chapter of Peace and Happiness
4, to maintain self-color1) The average person's mental capacity utilization rate is not more than 10%, most people do not know what they have. 2) One of the worst things about a man is not being himself, and keeping himself in the body and mind. 3) You are a new self every day in this world, and rejoice in it! Use your talent. 4) One day someone will understand that jealousy is useless, and imitating others is tantamount to committing suicide.
5, change the bad working habits1) People do not die because of overwork, but will go wild and distrust bows. 2) No one can always do things according to the severity of the matter. But doing things step by step is much better than doing what you think. 3) Don't forget that happiness does not depend on who you are or what you have, it comes entirely from your mind. 4) People have two kinds of ability is the priceless treasure--one is the ability to think, the second is to prioritize things, and properly deal with the ability. 5) Clean up the work desk, keep only the items related to the current work, do it according to the degree of the matter, and when it comes to the problem, solve it immediately, or make a decision, do not put aside; learn how to organize, empower and supervise.
6, learn to relax, relieve fatigue1) hard work rarely leads to fatigue, especially one that cannot be relieved after rest or sleep. 2) A surprising sad fact is that countless people who do not waste their money are busy drab assortment mediocrities their energies in vain. 3) Tension is a habit, and relaxation is a habit.
7, burnout causes the body's fatigue1) Our fatigue is often not caused by work, but because of distrust bows, frustration and dissatisfaction. 2) communicate with yourself every day, you can guide yourself to think about what is courage and happiness, what is peace and strength, every day to talk to yourself about the need to thank things, so that your heart cope wide sky, happy. 3) Do not feel tired of things, but should make them full of fun.
8. Live in the square of today1) What you think is not who you are, but what you think, what kind of person you are. 2) Action seems to follow the feeling, in fact, action and feeling are parallel, if will control action, also can indirectly control the feeling. 3) You can overcome any obstacle by turning a person's inner attitude from fear to struggle. 4) If you want to have fun and have fun, you will really feel happy.
9. Do not retaliate against the enemy1) Even if we can't love our enemies, we should at least love ourselves a little. We should not let the enemy control our mood, health and appearance. 2) The most effective way to truly forgive and forget our enemies is to resort to our more powerful forces. If we can forget everything, shame is insignificant. 3) Never take revenge on your enemies, and you will hurt yourself more than you do to others.
10. Don't expect others to appreciate you1) It is human nature to forget gratitude, and if we always expect others to be thankful, we are mostly asking for trouble. 2) to pursue the real happiness, we must abandon others will not be grateful to the idea, only enjoy the joy of giving. 3) Instead of worrying about others, don't expect to be thankful.
11. Calculate the favor you get1) The Best doctors in the world are the mood to eat, to maintain peace and pleasure. 2) Life has two main goals, first, to have what you aspire to, and second, to enjoy them. Only a wise man can do the 2nd. 3) Think of the grace that God has given you, and you will not have any more worries. 4) Count Your blessings-don't count your troubles.
12. Turn negative factors into success factors1) There are two people looking out from behind bars, one sees the muddy ground, the other sees the starry sky. 2) True happiness is not necessarily pleasure, it is mostly a triumph. 3) The most important thing in life is not investing in your income, anyone can do it. What really matters is how to profit from the loss. It takes wisdom to show the inference of Man. 4) fate gives you a sour lemon, you have to think of it as a sweet lemon juice.
13. Try to please others every day1) Think of a person every day and try to make it happy, so that you can be cured of depression within 14 days. 2) Many patients are medically unable to find any cause, they just can't find the goal of life, and self-pity. 3) Good for others is not a responsibility, it is a kind of enjoyment, because it can improve your health and happiness. When you are good to others, that is the best time for yourself. 4) A person who wants to be happy in life, can not only think of himself, but for others, because happiness comes from you for others, others for you.
14. Criticizing others is a kind of self-satisfaction1) If you are criticized, it is because criticizing you can give him a sense of satisfaction. It also means that you are successful. and interesting. 2) The villain is often proud of a great man's shortcomings or faults. 3) Unreasonable criticism is often a cover-up compliment.
15. Don't let the arrow of criticism injure you1) As long as you believe in what you do, don't care what others say, 2 Lincoln said: "If I don't respond to any deception, this will end." "3) do your best, and avoid the arrows of others ' criticism.
16. Learn self-criticism1) The average person is often angry at the criticism of others, but wise people try to learn from it. 2) Instead of waiting for the enemy to attack us or the work we do, we might as well do it ourselves. 3) The enemy's view of us may be closer to the truth than our own. 4) write down the foolish things you have done and put forward self-criticism.
Third article How to make people like you
17. Learn to care for others sincerely1) Those who do not care about others will suffer great hardship in their lifetime and greatly injure others. It is this kind of person that causes all kinds of human mistakes. 2) The principle of caring for others and other relationships must be sincere. Not only the people who pay attention should be like this, but also the people who take care of it.
18. Don't forget to smile1) behavior is better than speech, smile to people is to show others: "I like you, you make me happy, I like to see you." "2) Everyone in the world is looking for happiness, but there is only one really effective way to control your mind. Happiness does not care about the outside world, but on the inner condition. 3) Action seems to follow the feeling of walking. In fact, action is parallel to the feeling. We can make laws that are directly governed by the will, and can indirectly make rules that govern not only the subject of will.
19, don't forget the names of others1) One of the simplest, most obvious, and most important ways to get good graces is to remember the names of others and make others feel important to others. 2) The ability to memorize names is important both in business and in communication, and almost equally in politics. 3) Most people do not remember their names, just because they do not have the necessary effort and energy to remember. They make excuses for themselves: they are too busy. 4) Remember the name of another person, it is the sweetest and most important voice in the language.
20, learn to listen to others to speak1) Those who are always picky, even the fiercest critics, often soften their surrender in the face of a patient and sympathetic listener. 2) So if you want to be a good talker, be a listener first. 3) be a good listener and encourage people to talk about themselves.
21. Cater to the interests of others1) The trick to communicating with people is to talk about their most enjoyable things. 2) If you want to make people like you, if you want to make others interested in you, you have to pay attention to: Talk about other people interested in the topic.
22. Make others feel important1) Some people in real life have the obstacles to communication because they do not understand or forget an important principle-to make others feel important. 2) The deepest driving force in human nature is the importance of hope. 3) If you want someone else to treat you, you have to treat others first. 4) Make others feel important--and be sincere.
fourth how to win the approval of others
23. Don't argue1) There is only one way to get the best of the debate-that is, to avoid debate. 2) If you debate, gaining, and oppose, you may sometimes win, but this victory is empty, because you will never get the other person's favor. 3) Those who are determined to succeed can not take time and personal stereotypes, but also can not time-consuming to bear the results, including uncontrollable temper, loss of self-control.
24. Respect for the opinions of others1) You will never get into trouble because of your mistake. Only in this way can the argument be settled, and the other person can be as fair and lenient as you, even admitting that he may be mistaken. 2) do not conflict with the customer, the spouse after the enemy. Do not blame their mistakes, do not provoke them to anger, if you have to confrontation with people, but also to use a bit of skill. 3) Respect the opinions of others, never say: "You are wrong." ”
25. If wrong, admit it immediately1) If we know we are bound to be blamed, we should first blame ourselves, so it is better than to let others blame good? 2) Any foolish person will try to justify his own mistakes-and most foolish people will do so, admitting his mistakes, feeling different from others, and giving them a sense of dignity and nobility. 3) With the method of contention, you will never be satisfied, but in the way of concession, you may get more than you expect. 4) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and honestly.
26. Treat others with Kindness1) If the human heart is not so bad, it is difficult to convince you that you are exhausting all of Christ's theories. 2) If you want to win the hearts of people, first let others believe that you are the most sincere friend. 3) A drop of honey will attract more flies than a gallon of bile.
27, let the other side say "yes"1) When you're talking to someone, don't start by talking about things you disagree with, emphasize them, and keep stressing--what you agree to. 2) People who know how to speak skills get a lot of "yes" answers from the start. 3) The "Yes" response is actually a very simple technique, but it is ignored by most people.
28. Opportunity to speak to others1) If you disagree with others ' opinions, you may want to stop him, but it's better not to do so. 2) If you want to build an enemy, you will be better than your friends, but if you want to get a friend, then your friends will be better than you. 3) The purest happiness is the joy we get from the difficulties of others.
29. Don't impose your opinions on others1) No one likes to sell or be forced to do one thing. We all like to buy things as we wish, or act according to our own intentions, and we like to be consulted about our desires, needs and opinions. 2) Jianghai can be the king of the Valley, is because of understanding the low, can become the king of the Hundred Valley. 3) Make others think it's their idea.
30, good at thinking from the perspective of others1) Why the other party has such a thought and behavior, which has a certain reason. Seek out the hidden causes, and you get the key to understanding the actions or personalities of others. 2) Always follow the other person's point of view, from the standpoint of others to see things, as your own, this may not be difficult to affect your lifelong career a key factor. 3) Sincerely try to look at things from each other's point of view.
31. Sympathy for each other's wishes1) There is a magic punch line, it can prevent people from debating, eliminate the disgust of others, and give others a good impression. "I'm not surprised you feel that way," said the remark. If I were you, I would feel the same as you. "2) The general pursuit of compassion for mankind. The child urgently shows its injury, or even intentionally cuts or injures, in order to receive a large amount of sympathy. 3) sympathize with each other's thoughts and desires.
32. Motivation to inspire others to be noble1) There are two good reasons for everyone's actions: first, it looks good, and one is really good. 2) It is difficult to find a law that is universally valid, and there are exceptions to anything. 3) If there are no indications that customers are having problems, it is best to believe that they are willing to pay their bills in good faith.
33. Show your intentions in a dramatic way1) It is a time of drama, and it is not enough to have a narrative of a little language. Truth requires that we make it more vivid, more interesting, more dramatic, and you must use the art of acting properly.
34. Let others continue to face challenges1) The way to do things is to arouse competition, not the competition of infighting, but the desire to win each other. 2) the desire to win! Challenge! Stimulate! Inspire others to create an upward spirit-a really effective way! 3) put forward a challenge, it is a kind of athletics that any successful person likes, a kind of opportunity that shows oneself, it is the opportunity that proves oneself value, gaining fight to win.
The complete collection of human frailty-[US] Dale Carnegie/
