We're just choosing what we think is right now.

I already feel that I am in a very dangerous position now.

I always feel a sense of hesitation, feel nervous, feel a careless will be overturned. And at this time, I will choose to give up.

This habit has been with me for a long, long time.

And I remember, I didn't look like that when I was a kid. So I should blame something in my life, but what do I really want to blame? I don't know myself.

I've been a very smart kid since I could remember.

The third grade of primary school before the school in the village is already. At that time the whole school was only a few years old and I was able to go to the Olympic Games and essay competitions in the town. And have I really tried it myself? No, never.

That's when learning is like playing, and then every semester in town I can also go to a prize such as the second prize to return to the village, and then the Golden certificate affixed to the bare straw wall above.

I then wait for grade four to go to the town to study, play every day, can still do after school the first batch of people to walk. At night do homework under the yellow incandescent lamp, or go to class the next morning to copy the work of the deskmate.

When I went to junior high School, I still repeat this kind of life. But at that time I had begun to balance laziness with my talents. At that time I have seldom written my own homework, more or copy the table. English also did not learn, in third day when also stained with the habit of watching Internet fiction.

And then it's deserted.

High school reported a particularly bad school, still looking at the novel, not learn. Openly and the teacher, the exam is not to do the test. At that time, I said to myself the most sentence is probably: anyway, what can I do?

The last senior year of the spring recruit into the Chongqing Institute of Engineering, specialist. For the sake of reading novels, so the demand for mobile phones is very high. So with the mobile phone, so chose the Android to develop this major.

And after graduating from high school began to know the community, looking at the answers of the great gods, always special pursuit of those entertaining things. It's a programmer's community, and I found it in a little bit of a semester.

However, still did not study hard.

How to correct my habit that lasted for nearly ten years? Perhaps this is my own true portrayal, nearly ten years ago, at that time who know what is true, what is false?

I remember when I was in the village when I was a third grade, when I came from the town to teach maths teachers in the village (good want to spit groove ...) I am very much appreciated, as well as elementary school four years to the town to teach my math teacher is also very concerned about me. Even a year ago asked my grandmother about my recent situation.

I sometimes really feel that I have failed them.

Betray who is not disappoint Ah! And I think so.

I feel like I'm really hopeless!

Always like to define yourself, and then to override that definition in a variety of ways. Am I fit to be a philosopher?

In fact, I do not believe that ...

So, according to what psychology often says, focus on the present and focus on the present. After all, nothing is more important than now.

Let's try it. Although I can not find the way to advance, but as today read the "Code encyclopedia" in what is said, the skills of the programmer is like a tool in the hands of workers, first of all, to use this tool skillfully.

Therefore, this text is due to the daily ventilation series bar. After all, every month there are a few days of pumping convulsions, and then cross the array of good. But the real problem has not been solved, but rather doubts more, more.

So it is possible to read too little of their own cause.

If I say Internet fiction, I have accumulated over 100 million words of reading in the past few years, but when it comes to other things, it seems that there is really nothing to understand.

Should I change my career to write Internet fiction?

Forget it, I want to learn programming and change the world.

The current internship work is not happy, and at present can not directly resign, that is it. There's nothing worse than that, anyway.

Self-paralysis, waiting for one day the boss look at me I'm not happy to copy it! Then I based on this time accumulated knowledge and experience to find a better internship work, and so I got the diploma. It's not good to do any work.

A programmer is not going to find a job. At least I can be an independent developer, isn't it?

The world is always beautiful, as I have already looked through in high school: Anyway, what else can I do?

We're just choosing what we think is right now.