51. Fruit ban Effect
The cool effect is also called the "Romeo and Juliette effect ",The more things are prohibited, the more people need to get it.. This is related to people's curiosity and reverse psychology.
In your life, you often encounter the following situation: the more you want to hide some things or information to prevent others from knowing it, the more you will attract more interest and attention from others, people are curious and eager to snoop on what you hide, and even try to obtain the information through other channels. Once this information breaks through your grasp and enters the field of communication, it will be acquired by many people because of its "mysterious" color, and produce the effect of one-to-ten or ten-to-one transmission, this is contrary to your desire to conceal the information. This phenomenon is called the "fruit-ban effect" in dissemination ".The so-called fruit ban effect refers to the fact that some things are banned, but they attract more attention and attract more people to participate or follow.. There is a saying: "The fruit is exceptionally sweet.
The Psychological Basis of the "fruit ban effect" lies in the fact that unknown "mysterious" things are more attractive than those that can be reached, it also promotes and strengthens people's aspirations for closeness and understanding. What we often call "appetizing" and "selling off customs" is that the recipients have a sense of expectation for the complete transmission of information, once the key information is blank in the hearts of the recipients, the blank will generate a strong call for the masked information. This "expectation-Summon" structure is the psychological basis for the existence of the "Ban effect. Especially on issues involving the vital interests of the public, what people fear is often not a definite fact, but an uncertain and uncertain thing. In the fight process of unknown and eager to know, the public is eager to obtain information as quickly as they are afraid.
52. Cause effect
What we have recently learned masks the psychological phenomenon that we have always known to someone.
Psychologists research shows that the first impression of strangers has a greater effect on the perception of strangers, while for people familiar with them, the neighborhood of them is prone to a near-cause effect. For example, if two students had a good relationship with Party A and were considerate to Party B, but they were hated by Party B due to the last time they "offended". This is a result of a similar effect.
The so-called near-cause effect refers to the influence of the last impression that people are exposed to each other on social perception during interactions.
The first effect generally plays an important role in the perception of strangers, while the near effect plays an important role among people who are familiar with it.
The last impression of the other person is often used as the basis for understanding and evaluation between people who have been in contact with each other for a long time. And often changes the quality and quantity of interpersonal relationships. In real life, the broken friendship, confrontation between husband and wife, and friends are all related to the near-cause effect.
The near-cause effect allows us to evaluate a person or interpersonal relationship based only on the current situation of a person, and disconnects the relationship between history and reality, phenomena and nature, preventing us from looking at people and facts objectively and historically, often resulting in Psychological Conflicts between people, affecting our objective and correct evaluation and judgment on people and affairs, it has a negative impact on our actual work and life.
53. Competitive Advantages
When both parties share the same interests, people often choose competition first, rather than "cooperation" that is beneficial to both parties ". This phenomenon is called "competitive advantage effect" by psychologists ".
Psychology has such a classic experiment: let the students involved in the experiment combine them, but they cannot discuss it. They write down on the paper and they want to get the money. If the sum of two people's money is just equal to 100 or less than 100, then two people can get the money they wrote on paper. If the sum of two people's money is greater than 100, for example, 120, then, they have to pay 60 yuan respectively to psychologists.
What are the results? Almost no group of students write less than 100 yuan in total, and of course they have to pay.
Social psychology experts believe that people are born with a competitive nature. Everyone wants to be better than others, and everyone cannot tolerate their competitors. Therefore, in the face of conflicts of interest, people tend to choose competition and fight for both sides. That is, when both sides share the same interests, people tend to give priority to competition, instead of selecting "cooperation" that is beneficial to both parties ".
In addition, psychologists also believe that,Lack of communication is also an important reason for people to choose competition.. If both parties discuss the issue of interest distribution and reach a consensus, the possibility of cooperation will be greatly increased. If two people in the above experiment are allowed to discuss with each other, or they have full control over the choice of the other party, the results will inevitably look like another.
54. Laws of wine and Sewage
An interesting law in management is called the law of wine and sewage.A spoonful of wine is poured into a bucket of sewage, and a bucket of sewage is obtained..
Obviously, the proportion of sewage and liquor cannot determine the nature of the bucket. What really determines is the spoonful of Sewage. As long as there is it, more wine will become sewage.
There are several difficult people in almost any organization. They seem to exist to make things worse. They spread rumors and undermine the harmony within the Organization. The worst thing is that they are like rotten apples in the fruit box. If you don't handle them in time, they will quickly infect and smash the other apples in the fruit box, what's terrible about "rotten apple" is its amazing destructive power. An upright and competent person may be swallowed up into a chaotic department, and an untrustworthy person can quickly turn an efficient Department into a sandbox. Organizational systems are often fragile and built on mutual understanding, compromise, and tolerance. They are easily attacked and poisoned. Another important reason for their extraordinary capabilities is that damage is always easier than construction. A craftsman who has made ceramics over time can destroy them in a second. If there are more skilled workers, there will be no decent work achievements. If there is such a donkey in your organization, you should immediately remove it; if you cannot do so, you should tie it up.
In enterprises, there will always be sewage, and sewage will always bring various contradictions and conflicts to enterprises. This requires managers to master the skills of conflicts and coordination between wine and sewage. There is also a game between liquor and sewage in an organization. Discovering and making good use of talents can lead the world in the talent competition. This is an important weight for smart enterprise managers to lead enterprises to success, while effectively using the law of wine and sewage, it is the best way to organize an efficient team. A fundamental task of modern enterprise management is to guide and screen talents in the group, eliminate the destructive "sewage", and direct the power of qualified persons to the same goal, this is the operation of talents.
Stereotypes, also known as stereotypes, refer to the psychological phenomenon in which people use fixed impressions of a person or a certain type of person in their own minds to determine and evaluate people based on these fixed impressions.
Some people are always used to categorize people mechanically, and regard a specific person as a typical representative of a certain type of person, and regard the evaluation of a certain type of person as an evaluation of a certain person, therefore, the correct judgment is affected.
Stereotypes are often a type of prejudice. people not only have a rigid impression on people they have been exposed to, but also create a rigid impression on people they have not been contacted based on indirect information that is not very real, for example, the elderly are conservative, the young are impulsive, the Northerners are bold, the Southerners are good at doing business, the British are conservative, and the Americans are enthusiastic.
56. Cold and Hot Water Effect
A cup of warm water, keep the temperature unchanged, another cup of cold water, a cup of hot water. When you put your hands in the cold water first, then put them in the warm water, you will feel warm water; when you put your hands in the hot water first, then put it in the warm water, you will feel warm water. The same cup of warm water has two different feelings. This is the hot and cold effect. This phenomenon occurs because everyone has a scale in mind, but it is inconsistent and not fixed. With the psychological changes, the same is changing. When the weight of an object changes to an hour, the weight of the object it calls will be large. When the weight of the object increases, the weight of the object it calls will be small. People's perception of things is influenced by this attention. In interpersonal communication, we must be good at using this hot and cold effect.
I. Use the cold and hot water effect to get praise from the other party
In people's lives, it is inevitable that when there is a decline in career, when there is a need to criticize and accuse others, if improper handling occurs, this will reduce your image in the eyes of others. If you skillfully use the hot and cold water effect, it will not only reduce your image, but will gain a good rating from others. When your career declines, you may wish to inform others of the worst situation in advance, so that you can remain undefeated even if you fail. When you accidentally hurt others, your apologies may exceed the limits you deserve. This will not only show your sincerity, but also give you the effect of turning your mistakes into others. If you want to say unpleasant words, you may wish to declare them in advance, in this way, you will not be disgusted by others, so that others can appreciate your good intentions. These actions that use the hot and cold water effect are, in essence, the first and second "foreshadowing" in the other party's mind to make the "yellow" smaller. As a result, the "called object weight" will become larger.
Lao Li of a car sales company can sell more than 30 vehicles each month, which is appreciated by the company manager. For various reasons, Lao Li expects to only sell 10 vehicles this month. Lao Li, who understands the mysteries of human nature, said to the manager: "due to the tight yundun and the poor market, I estimate that at most five more vehicles will be sold this month ." The manager nodded and agreed with him. I did not expect that after a month, Lao Li sold 12 cars, and the company manager praised him. If Lao Li says that 15 vehicles can be sold this month, or he doesn't say this in advance, only 12 vehicles will be sold. What does the company manager think? He will feel that Lao Li has failed. Instead of praising him, he may accuse him. In this case, Lao Li reported the worst case-selling at most five more cars to the Manager, which reduced the manager's mind, the evaluation of Lao Li will not be reduced, but will be improved.
Ms. Cai seldom gave a speech and once forced, she gave a speech to a group of scholars and critics. Her opening remarks are: "I am an ordinary family woman and naturally won't say anything amazing. Therefore, please ask experts not to joke about my speech ......" As she said, many people who began to doubt her became smaller, and they listened attentively. After her simple speech was completed, scholars and critics on the stage felt very good. They thought that her speech had reached a very high level. They applauded Ms. Cai's successful speech.
When a person cannot directly give him a pot of "hot water", you may wish to give him a pot of "cold water", and then give him a pot of "Warm Water", in this case, this basin of "Warm Water" will also receive a good rating from others.
Ii. Use the cold and hot water effect to encourage the consent of the other party
Mr. Lu Xun said: "If someone proposes to open a window on the walls of the house, it is bound to be opposed by everyone. The window cannot be opened. However, if the roof is proposed to be removed, the crowd will return and agree to open a window ." Mr Lu Xun's incisive discussion is to use the cold and hot water effect to urge the other party to agree. When the proposal was made to "Remove the roof", the "opening a window on the wall" in the other party's mind became smaller, and the target of persuasion would be successfully agreed. The cold and hot water effect can be used to persuade others. If you want the other party to accept "a pot of warm water", you may try "Cold Water" first to prevent him from rejecting it, then the "Warm Water" side, so that he will readily accept.
Yan manager of a cosmetics sales company wants to let Wang, a salesman in the home city, go to the branch office near the suburbs for work as a result of work needs. When talking to Mr. Wang, Manager Yan said: "company research determines that you should take on a new important job. There are two places. You can choose one. One is a branch in the remote suburbs and the other is a branch in the near suburbs ." Although Mr. Wang does not want to leave the city he is already very familiar with, he had to select a better nearby suburb in the far suburbs and near suburbs. Mr. Smith's choice is just in line with the company's arrangement. Moreover, Manager Yan did not pay much for his lips, and Mr. Smith thought that he had chosen an ideal job. Both parties were satisfied and solved the problem. In this case, the appearance of "remote suburbs" has reduced the "difficult" in Wang's mind, so that Mr. Wang can smoothly accept his work in the near suburbs. Manager Yan's practice, although giving people a feeling of playing with power, should also be promoted if he considers the overall situation and is responsible to Mr. Wang himself.
Lao Chen and Lao Shi are negotiating experts in a large chemical factory. They are very keen on gold partners and have almost no business to talk about. They have won the respect and trust of their employees. Originally, he was very good at using the cold and hot water effect to persuade the other party. In general, Old Chen always puts forward demanding requirements, so that the other party is stunned, discouraged, and unable to cope with the problem, that is, the other party is overwhelmed psychologically. When the other Party felt that there was no way to go, he appeared and proposed a compromise. Of course, this solution is the target solution they negotiated. The other party signed the contract happily in the face of this "different village. In the face of this trend, there are some unfavorable conditions for the solution. The other party will also think that the compromise plan is very good and therefore accept it. This is indeed a wonderful negotiation technique. The preset harsh conditions have greatly reduced the "difficult negotiation" in the other party's mind, so that the other party does not hesitate to agree to the compromise. This negotiation technique can play a huge role in business negotiation.
3. Use the cold and hot water effect to make the other party happy
A philosopher saw a friend living in poverty turn all day and looked bitter, and he came up with a way to make him happy. He said to his friend, "are you willing to leave your wife? Are you willing to discard your child? Are you willing to demolish your broken room ?" My friends answered "no" one by one ". The philosopher said, "Yes! You should be glad that you have a tacit partner, a lovely descendant, and a warm old house. You should be so happy !" As a result, the sorrow of this friend leaves the brow and the melancholy leaves the forehead. In this entertaining story, the philosopher uses the hot and cold water effect to narrow down his friend's "difficulties", so that he can feel happy with his own busy life. A person's happiness or unhappiness is usually not determined by objective advantages or disadvantages, but by his or her own mentality and emotions. The cold and hot water effect can help a person discover new happiness from difficulties, setbacks, and misfortune.
One time, when a civil aviation passenger plane was about to land, passengers on the plane were suddenly notified that the arrival time was delayed by one hour due to airport congestion and failure to land. Suddenly, there was a sound of complaints in the cabin, and the passengers waited for the cool time. A few minutes later, the flight attendant announced that the plane would land safely in 30 minutes, and the passengers were relieved. Five minutes later, the broadcast said that the plane is about to land now. Although it was ten minutes late, the passengers were overjoyed and applauded. In this case, the crew did not intend to use the hot and cold water effect, first of all, to make the passenger's mind "small", when the plane landed, the fact that the passengers are not bored, it turned out to be excited.
After careful consideration, Director Xia decided to give the technician xiaogong an annual salary of 12 thousand yuan. Although the salary was not high, Director Xia thought that xiaogong would accept the salary, the only concern is that the failure to solve the problem affects his enthusiasm and creativity. The old manager Xia came up with a wonderful idea. He said to xiaogong, "based on the actual situation of our factory, we can only pay you an annual salary of 8000 yuan ." After a pause, Director Xia went on to say, "however, you can consider 10 thousand yuan. What do you think ?" Upon hearing the "8000 yuan", xiaogong was a little unhappy. The "" was reduced. When I heard the "10 thousand yuan", I felt a little happy. He said cheerfully, "I hear from the director ." Director Xia said: "10 thousand yuan is already very high compared with other staff in the factory. To tell you the truth, I am hesitant to be the director. However, as long as we work together and work hard, we will also send 10 thousand RMB to you." Xiaogong was deeply touched. In this case, Director Xia used the cold and hot water effect to make the other Party feel happy not only when the salary is not high.
If you first let the other party taste the cold water, it will reduce the "Warm Water" in his mind, so he will be happy with the "Warm Water. In interpersonal communication, if the other party is excited at a critical moment or even in common days, what else can't be done? What kind of hard battles do not win?
To sum up, the cold and hot water effect plays three major roles in interpersonal communication by making the "cold and hot water" in his mind small, but if the "cold and hot water" in the other's hearts become larger, there will be three major negative effects. Interactions between people to avoid these negative effects. Finally, a person can correctly evaluate his or her own and external things only by keeping his or her "being" reasonable and consistent.
57. zero-sum game principles
When you see two opponents, You can say they are playing "zero-sum games ". In most cases, there will always be one win and one lose. If we calculate the victory as 1 point and the loss as-1 point, then the sum of the two points is: 1 + (-1) = 0.
This is the basic content of a zero-sum game: players win or lose, while one party wins and the other party loses. The total score of the game is always zero.
Zero-sum games are widely used because people discover similar situations in all aspects of society. The glory of the winner often hides the bitterness and bitterness of the loser. From the individual to the country, from the economy, it seems that the world is a huge "zero-sum game" field. This theory holds that the world is a closed system, and wealth, resources, and opportunities are limited, the increase in wealth for individuals, regions, and countries will inevitably mean the looting of others, other regions, and countries. This is a "Evil evolutionary" world where weak meat is powerful.
However, in the 20th century, after two world wars, rapid economic growth, technological progress, globalization, and increasingly serious environmental pollution, the zero-sum game concept is gradually replaced by the "win-win" concept. People begin to realize that "self-interest" does not have to be based on "harm to people. Through effective cooperation, a happy ending is possible. However, from a "zero-sum game" to a "win-win" situation, all parties must have the spirit and courage of sincere cooperation. In Cooperation, do not be clever or always want to take advantage of others' advantages, you must abide by the rules of the game. Otherwise, the "win-win" situation will not be possible, and you will eventually suffer your own losses.
58. Matthew Effect
The name of the Matthew effect comes from a fable in the New Testament Matthew.
In the Bible, chapter 4 of the Gospel of Matthew has the following words:If there is anything, you have to give it to him to make him redundant; if there is no, you have to take it from him."
In the New Testament, the fable of chapter 1 of the gospel of Mate (net): Before a King traveled far, a servant was called to give his house to them. Give them money based on their talents. One is five thousand, the other is two thousand, and the other is one thousand. I went abroad. Those who received five thousand yuan immediately made a purchase and sale, and earned another five thousand yuan. That leads two thousand, also earned another two thousand. But the one who got one thousand went to dig the ground and buried the money of the master.
After a long time, the masters of the servants came to settle accounts with them. Those who received five thousand yuan of Silver came with the other five thousand yuan and said, "Lord, you have handed me five thousand yuan of silver. Please see, I have earned another five thousand yuan ." The Master said, "Well, you are a kind and loyal servant. You are loyal to not many things, and I will send you many things for management. You can come in and enjoy the pleasure of your master ." "Lord, you handed me two thousand yuan. Please see, I earned another two thousand yuan ." The Master said, "Well, you good and loyal servant. You are loyal to not many things, and I will send you many things for management. You can come in and enjoy the pleasure of your master ."
"Lord, I know that you are the one who can bear it. There is no place to harvest, and there is no scattered place to gather together. I am afraid to bury your one thousand silver in the ground. Please refer to your original silver here ." The master replied, "You are a wicked and lazy servant. You know that I have no seeds for harvesting, and that no scattered places need to gather together. When I give my money to someone who exchanges it, I can take it back. So I beat him and gave him one thousand servants ."
The Matthew effect reveals a growing demand for personal and corporate resources, which is related to personal success and happiness. Therefore, it is an important rule that affects enterprise development and individual success.
In 1968, Robert K. Merton, a researcher in the history of science in the United States, used the Matthew effect for the first time to describe this social psychological phenomenon. "More and more honors are being paid to the contributions of well-known scientists, and those who are not yet famous refuse to acknowledge their achievements ."
Social psychology advocates that the Matthew effect is a social psychological phenomenon with both negative effects and positive effects. The negative effect is that celebrities and celebrities share the same performance. The former is often praised by superiors, interviewed by reporters, followed by instructors and visitors, the results often make some of them proud of their lack of conscious self-awareness and irrational attitudes, and fall behind in the way of life, while the latter is unattended and may even suffer from embarrassment and jealousy. Its positive effect is: first, it can prevent society from prematurely recognizing immature results or accepting seemingly correct results too early. Second, the phenomena such as "Additional honors" and "Lifetime honors" produced by the "Matthew effect" Have a great appeal to the unknown and urge the unknown to struggle, however, this kind of struggle must have achievements beyond the past of celebrities in order to achieve the desired honor.
The Matthew effect is widely used in society. In particular, there is a widespread phenomenon in the economic field: strong, strong, weak, weak, or a winner.
59. Caterpillar Effect
The caterpillar is used to stick to its original instincts, habits, precedent and experience, instead of breaking the trailing habits and turning to the food system.
French psychologist John Farber once done a famous experiment called the "caterpillar experiment": put many caterpillars on the edge of a flowerpot, so that they are connected at the beginning and end in a circle, not far from around the flowerpot, some pine leaves that the caterpillars like to eat are sprinkled.
At first, a caterpillar followed by a circle around the edge of the flowerpot. One hour later, one day later, and another day later, the caterpillars circled around the edge of the flowerpot day and night, after seven days and seven nights, they finally died one after another due to hunger and exhaustion.
Before doing this experiment, John Farber imagined that the caterpillars would soon get tired of such meaningless circles and turn to their preferred foods. Unfortunately, the caterpillar did not. The cause of this tragedy is that the caterpillar is used to stick to the original instinct, habits, precedent and experience. The caterpillar gave life, but there was no result. In fact, if a caterpillar is able to break the trailing habits and turn to feed, it can completely avoid the occurrence of tragedy.
Later, scientists referred to this kind of habit of following the previous line as "followers" and called the failure caused by following the "caterpillar effect ".
We can even say that we humans cannot escape the influence of this effect. For example, in the process of work, study, and daily life, we will subconsciously repeat some of the ready-made thinking processes and behavior methods for the "easy to learn" problems, therefore, it is easy to develop ideological inertia, that is, relying on the existing experience to consider the problem based on a fixed idea, and unwilling to change directions and think about the problem from another angle.
The inherent ideas and methods are relatively mature, stable, and positive. It is because attacking previous ideas and methods can help people to make analogy thinking, shorten and simplify the solution process, and solve some problems more smoothly and conveniently;
However, at the same time, its negative effects cannot be ignored, that is, it is easy for people to blindly use specific experiences and habits to treat seemingly different problems, resulting in a waste of time and energy, impede the solution of the problem. In addition, it is easy to get bored and paralyze people's creative ability and influence their potential to think about problems based on an established model over the years.
The tragedy caused by the meaningless circle of the caterpillar also shows that in actual work, the myth of "one worker, one harvest" does not exist. We cannot only pay attention to how much work we have done, we also need to pay attention to the results of these jobs, that is, the performance that people often say. If you keep following others in the wrong direction, you may make a lot of unnecessary efforts. Only by finding a new direction and train of thought can you gain more benefits.
60. Business card Effect
When two people interact with each other, if they first show that they share the same attitude and value with each other, they will feel that you are more similar to each other and quickly narrow their psychological distance with you, we are more willing to approach you and form a good interpersonal relationship.Here, the conscious and purposeful attitude and opinions presented to the other party are presented to the other party like a business card.
The business card effect means to let the other party accept your opinion and attitude, and you should regard the other party as one with yourself, first, spread some opinions or thoughts that they can accept and are familiar with and like to each other, and then quietly infiltrate and organize their own views and thoughts to make the other Party feel an impression, it seems that our thoughts and opinions are similar to those they have recognized. Indicating that you have the same attitude and value as the other party will make the other Party feel that you have more similarities with him, so as to quickly narrow down the psychological distance from you and wish to be closer to you, establish good interpersonal relationships. The specific operation method is to first spread some ideas or thoughts that they can accept and are familiar with and like to each other in communication, and then quietly infiltrate and organize their own views and thoughts, it seems that our thoughts and opinions are similar to those they have recognized. The main points are:
First, you must be good at capturing the information of each other, grasping the real attitude, and looking for positive and acceptable ideas to form an effective business card.
Second, look for the opportunity to present your image based on the "Business card" to the other party, so that you can achieve your goal.
A job-seeking young man was frustrated when he was rejected by several companies. Finally, he held a glimmer of hope to apply for a job in a company. Before that, he first inquired about the company's boss's history, he found that the boss of the company had similar experiences in the past. As a result, when he got treasure, he talked with the boss about his job-seeking experience and the indignation he had never met, indeed, this speech won the appreciation and sympathy of the boss, and eventually he was hired as a business manager. This is the so-called business card effect. That is, when two people interact with each other, if they first show that they share the same attitude and value with each other, they will feel that you have more similarities with each other, in this way, we can quickly narrow down our psychological distance from you and look forward to approaching you to form a good interpersonal relationship. Here, the conscious and purposeful attitude and opinions presented to the other party are presented to the other party like a business card.