Write to senior -- it should not be used for transition, waiting, or sacrifice

Yesterday, a student came to me to talk about graduation choices. After talking, she suddenly gave me a hug. I am deeply encouraged to write something for you. You are in a difficult stage. I want to provide you with positive energy through the text below. Although I have been writing this article for a long time, I will not talk about how to apply for a school, what job I am looking for, or whether I want to study it. What I want to talk about is how to solve your panic.

 

I. essence of anxiety

 

Senior is an anxiety period. Your troubles are sometimes the pressure of specific problems. Sometimes they are unprovoked and inexplicable. Sometimes they are vulnerable to external influences. When others say a word, they will stir up inner waves that are hard to curb.

 

In my opinion, all these anxiety, panic, and sensitivity come from three things: Limitation of life, uncertainty of the future, and implications of the past. These three things are the inevitable shadows of life. I want to write poems whenever I think of them.

 

"How can I prepare to win ?" "Will I fail ?" This is the uncertainty of the future.

 

"Is it a waste of one or two years for me to take this path ?" "Will I take a detour ?" This is the limit in your life.

 

"Is my choice wrong ?" "Will the final return of such a large investment come ?", If you have any regrets, you can take them.

 

How is it? In fact, what makes you feel painful every day is not the specific things, but the questions that are lingering above.

 

I fully grasp the height of my life, not only because of my consistent literature and depth, but also because I think the following premise is very important:

If you feel fear, it is caused by some unchangeable characteristics in your life, so what do you desperately want to seize, even if you have finally achieved a goal and gained a temporary breathing space, you still cannot solve your inner pain.

 

That's why you were suffering when you didn't get an offer, and suffered when you got an offer. It was so painful when there was no way out in June that it was just as unhappy as early as September. Pain can be mitigated at most and never solved. This time, people who suffer less may suffer a lot next time.

Because the laws of life cannot be changed, it is useless to struggle and capture the outside to solve the inner pain. In the end, we can only rely on our inner growth.

 

2. How can this problem be solved?

 

If you want to fight for the ultimate boss of life, the so-called greatest enemy of a person is yourself. So I don't know how to break this level. However, I have already felt the process of human growth. I can share it with you.

 

First, you must pay attention to your own rationality. People have a strong mind and a glass heart full of fear, greed and weakness. Most human behaviors seem to be more emotional-driven, rather than being indicated by the mind. As a vulnerable group, your mind should learn to talk to your inner, understand the power and drive of your inner, and strive to guide it and gradually achieve the unity of mind.

 

This is a long process of growth. Some people eventually become more intelligent, calm, and firm, and can better grasp their own lives. However, the vast majority of people will not be able to dominate themselves in the end of their lives, and they will swing around like the waves. This may include your parents.

 

But I often feel that the power of emotion is very powerful, and the role of reason is often limited at the beginning. You can easily understand the truth, but you cannot control yourself, especially when being disturbed by the outside world. Your inner mind is like a small seedling. When it is still weak, I am afraid it cannot withstand the harsh wind and rain. The external environment is too bad, and a strong heart may be overwhelmed.

 

Therefore, my experience is: internal and external repairs.

 

3. Talking to yourself

 

In this difficult stage, we need to talk more about the truth with ourselves. You can also speak to yourself. In fact, the mind manipulated by emotions is silly. If you say more, it will slowly believe it. This is why I want to tell more women that I love you.

 

You can often tell yourself the truth:

 

1. believe in fate

I didn't want you to settle your fortune. It means that, as a college-educated person, you must understand the inaccessibility of things.

 

The knowledge and growth experience we learned in high school is easy to shape a concept that everything is causal. With the conditions, you can calculate the answer. The world is driven by fundamental and concise natural laws and justice, and everything can be predicted and explained. If you study hard, you can generally take a good university. Whether or not the preset results can be achieved depends on whether certain conditions can be met, such as whether or not efforts are made.

 

Unfortunately, the overall comparison of our university education has failed, so the concepts we have created earlier cannot be corrected or challenged. If you continue to study mathematics and physics in college, you will know that the theorem and principle of your high school are things of the 17th century Newton age. The theory of relativity, quantum theory, and chaos in the 20th century prove that even nature is not so definite. At the micro level, the causal relationship is reliable, but once it comes to the macro level, the variables may be too complex to be more complex than people can understand or grasp in a limited time space.

 

Naturally, the same is true for life. Some thing variables are simpler, they can hold more; some thing variables are more complex, and they can hold less. Even if the college entrance examination can hold things that are relatively strong, although there are some points back. But learning this kind of thing is definitely a special case in social phenomena. Other things you encounter in your life are much inferior to those in school.

 

Now that you are about to step into the society, the first lesson that society has given you is totally different from the "low-stick logic" of school learning ". If you want to find a good way out, you can only try to prepare for it, but the result is very "Chaotic ". I have told you many stories. In my college class, I 'd better not stay in Beijing. I went to a foreign company most like a Communist Party member. I became a civil servant who didn't attend classes, and became a country famous for Beijing, one of the most academic members is the director. It is not like me that I am a teacher at a university.

 

I don't want to tell you the impermanence of the world. Just lie down and wait for the iron to drop in the sky. One of my classmates has been in the Foreign Ministry, and she has always wanted to be in the Foreign Ministry. Another student is also a university teacher. He was indeed a schoolmaster. However, these two students did not work harder than other students at the time, and now they are not more successful than other students.

 

You must learn to understand and accept the contingency of life. The unknown is certainly frightening, but it is a natural reaction of your mind. Your mind can believe that everyone has a path. There are many complicated factors contributing to this path, but it must be made up of the best choices that a person can make at the time. So you can't change anything if you panic or don't. After you go up, you can make a good move to make it wonderful.

 

2. No detours

The panic before we set foot on society is largely due to the illusion of "losing at the starting line.

 

The real life is not a competition; At least it is not a competition that runs to the same end. This is also the logic developed by the college entrance examination. It has never been used since college.

 

I have told you many stories. When Xi was a young man, he was deprecated to a rural area for seven years and went back to the city to go to college at the age of 22. After Hu Jintao graduated from the university, he went to the northwest to build a dam. Both Obama and Clinton are poor boys. They finally got into the middle east of Ivy League. As a result, they went back to their hometown to work in the community, and they went back to their hometown to teach in a well-known University. According to the previous logic, they all entered the starting line.

 

If you really want to be the winner of your life, you can look at those who have made achievements. The lives of most great people are full of twists and turns, and some are just a few ups and downs. But what kind of detours do you see from the back? You have been a village secretary and others have not yet been a village secretary. After decades, you will have an advantage as the chairman of the competitive nation.

 

You may not want to be a great man, but do not want to endure hardship. But as we have already said before, there is always a way in your life, sometimes it will be bent, and sometimes it will be straight. Don't just want to go straight. The path is too fast, so you do not have to enjoy the scenery. It is difficult to have a broad vision and a rich mind, so you lack the potential to be happy.

In short, all the efforts will not be in vain. Any effort is required.

 

3. self-defined

In this case, you 'd better cheer yourself up every day: I'm the master of everything.

 

I don't know what kind of parent you will have. In short, they may be very annoying. Some people are very enlightened at ordinary times. At this time, one or two unsensible words occasionally emerge, which makes you feel meaningless.

 

Both the seven aunts and the eight aunts will call. When you go home on vacation, you will not stop asking. Friends and friends give suggestions on things. If you are a classmate, you can learn from every rumor.

 

Finally, you have received a lot of information, asked a lot of suggestions, but lost yourself.

 

In fact, you only understand things the most, and no one else can.

 

From today on, you must be on your own. If you want others to help you, you are afraid to take full responsibility for possible failures. But who is responsible for your future?

 

True self-confidence begins with taking responsibility for itself. True freedom begins with taking responsibility for it.

 

4. Change the peripheral environment

 

In addition to talking with your own hearts, you also need to strive to create a good external environment for this conversation, close to sunshine and rain, and stay away from the wind and rain.

 

1. Don't bother me

I seem to be trying to pick up the relationship between you and your parents. In fact, I mean, at this age, you must begin to reshape your relationship with your parents.

In this special stage, your parents are most concerned about your future. They often have the greatest influence on your mood.

You need the care of your parents. However, if they are driven by emotions like you, lack of firmness and rationality, the constant concern is just a relief after an emotional attack. Then you should clearly tell them: Please restrain your panic and send me more positive energy.

Parents' suggestions may be useful. But most of them are useless. If you live in the age of agriculture, you basically only need to do what your parents say, because there is no big difference in your two generations. But now, how do your parents from other places know about Beijing? How can we know about America?

If you want to communicate, ask your parents to share your life experiences with you, rather than your suggestions.

In the same way, stay away from negative energy discussions unless you can encourage each other. Stay away from disturbing your inner calm environment and reserve space for your inner conversations.

If possible, try to provide positive energy to people around you. If you are sure you know what is positive energy.

 

2. Do not drag

At this time, you are all preparing for various things. No matter what you are pursuing, make good plans, and live regularly, do not drag on what you should do.

When you feel more and more panic, it is often the time when there are things to do but not to do. It is a joke in your heart, making you more anxious and unconfident.

If you work on things step by step and make progress, your emotional mind will be much more relaxed, and it will patiently listen to the truth.

 

3. fulfill your wishes

A young mind, the spring water that needs irrigation most, is self-confidence. Do something that will improve your confidence.

These things may be small, but they can see results, make progress, or get results in the short term. If you want to eliminate unnecessary anxiety, you will have enough time to do these things.

Take a short trip. When you come back, you will feel that you have grown up.

Read some books and tell people who have not read them. It's better not to be a senior.

Exercise a sport and see your progress.

Do anything you want to do and can be done with relatively simple efforts.

 

5. Hope to be useful

I spent two days thinking about these things and wrote them all day. I had the courage to stick to them many times. On the one hand, I am reluctant to preach, although I often preach. I preach to you. In fact, it is a form of conversation between myself and my heart, so I am very sincere. You call me a mentor, but my life also needs guidance. Currently, only conservative self-treatment can be performed.

 

Some stages of life are insurmountable, and some pains must be experienced. It is difficult for people in it to be relieved. Comments often stand and talk without backache. For example, if an old comrade says to me, "you young people should not worry about not being able to afford a house, not arranging a car number, or saving money every month. These are all false ." On the one hand, I think what he said makes sense. On the other hand, there is a powerful voice in my heart shouting: "Give me yours ".

 

A lot of truth can be realized only when we pass through and turn around. The speech I made at the graduation ceremony last semester has been published and reproduced by many media in the society, and a bunch of bills have been collected. However, the feelings of the students at school are separated. They found a new method for hacking me. Once I asked "why", they would say "because we are from the top of the hill ".

 

So, let me ask why, you can say, "please talk to you first ."

My inner thought is to hope that you will not be wasted in the next year. This is the year of the greatest age in your life. It is not used for transition, waiting, or sacrifice. This year has just begun.

 

Come on!

 

Write to senior -- it should not be used for transition, waiting or sacrifice (transfer)