Cultivate mental models and improve mental maturity

Life is a hard journey, and the journey of maturity is quite long. The future will only belong to people with mature minds.

Whether a person is mature or not depends on his age, but on his ability to make decisions and face and solve problems. A person can reject anything, but cannot reject maturity. In theory, refusal to mature is to avoid problems and avoid suffering. The tendency to circumvent problems and escape from suffering is the root cause of human mental illness. If you do not deal with it in time, you will pay a heavy price for it and bear more pain. A mature mind cannot be achieved overnight. It is a hard journey.

Don't be impulsive, don't be emotional, and think about urgent matters. Worry more about others' feelings. Leave room for others to do things. Talk to elders and listen to others' opinions. Be brave in accepting failures and admit mistakes bravely. If you have nothing to do with it, let's go back and think about the path you 've taken, sum up your experience, and learn to start from the beginning. These are the mature performances.

The so-called mental model refers to the reflection of people's thoughts, methods, habits, style, and psychological quality. The formation of a person's mental model has gone through a long process, and has accumulated many things from small to large in various environments, the stories, including books, teachers, parents, and friends, will be deeply impressed with the pictures with different characteristics, and different assumptions can be inferred accordingly. It is these images, stories, and assumptions that enable people to have different ideas, opinions, and actions for the same thing, because each person's mental model is closely related to the growth environment, the mental model varies with the development environment of each person.

Mental models have the following features:

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. First, deep-rooted. Especially for successful people, there is a saying: "Jiangshan is easy to change, and it is a new thing ".

. Second, I feel good about myself. Think it's so bad. Many people in the society give advice to others. It's not good here, but it's not good there.

 

. Third, everyone's mental model is flawed. There are no perfect people in the world. Successful people, great people, and smart patterns all have different defects. Therefore, people must be reminded to improve their mental models. This affects not only yourself, but also the overall business of a department or enterprise.

 

. Fourth, mental models are time-sensitive. The development of social economy, the progress of science and technology, and the times in which humans are living are constantly changing. With the passage of time, human mental models are time-sensitive. A mental model that is regarded as correct in one period may be considered wrong in another period.

People with high emotional intelligence have a high degree of control over their emotions and emotions. They can treat people and things objectively and dialectically, and talk about affairs in an appropriate way. They are considerate and pleasant, and have a good reputation, has a strong personality charm.

 

. First, understanding yourself and your own emotions;

. Second, the ability to manage yourself and determine your own emotions;

 

. Third, control yourself, that is, the ability to control yourself.

. The fourth is the ability to understand and understand the emotions of others.

. 5. Ability to process and coordinate interpersonal relationships.

The key to a successful enterprise is what kind of mental model is the management team, and the individual mental model of each team forms a team with the same mental model. Simple and Easy to know: the individual mental model determines the team mental model, while the team mental model determines the future of an enterprise.

 

What kind of personality qualities do mature people possess?

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American clinical psychologist John Schindler proposed that mature people possess the following seven qualities:

1. Have a strong sense of responsibility and independence (autonomy );

2. pay more and get less;

 

3. Do not take yourself as the center, do not compete for strong victories, learn to work alone, and have a team spirit;

4. recognize and accept social constraints on sex and regard sex as part of a happy and happy marriage;

5. Realize that hostility, anger, hate, cruelty, and fighting are weak, and gentle and kind talents are strong;

6. Ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy;

7. Flexible and flexible.

If you are a mature person, a mature person, or a person who rejects maturity and causes psychological barriers, you must have the courage to face your own problems, as long as you are brave enough to face your own problems, you will embark on a journey of mental maturity. What I learned at school is knowledge, and the growth of my mind is only in the hands of my parents. As long as we don't care about people's minds, it's useless to read more books.

 

Five indicators of mental maturity

1. A primary sign of mental maturity is correct self-recognition.

However, in real life, there are three types of self-recognition: one is the mean person who thinks that "you can do it without me, the second is the self-confidence who thinks that "you can't do it, you can do it", and the third is the inferiority + jealousy who thinks that "I Can't Do you or him. In terms of self-cognition, the mental maturity should be "he does what you do and I do what you do ".

2. Correctly coping with setbacks is the second sign of wisdom and maturity.

In daily life, people will face the temptation of money and beauty, as well as many practical problems, such as the anxiety of the ideal pursuit of setbacks and the pain of unharmonious interpersonal relationships, the self-control ability is significantly different between the mature and immature persons. If you compare a setback to a wall, the attitude of an immature person is hitting the wall and suffering, complaining that you are the most unfortunate person in the world, A mature person may seek a ladder to climb the wall or bypass the wall. She said that the pursuit of personal ideals is subject to many factors. A mentally mature person can control himself, and should closely grasp the controllable part of objective factors, accept the uncontrollable part of objective factors and flexibly adjust your strategy.

3. Understanding Others is the third sign of mental maturity

How can we get to know others? We need to know the roles of others to avoid misunderstanding. We need to know the conduct of others, take good friendship, and avoid being fooled. We need to know the advantages of others, take advantage of others' strengths to make ourselves short, maintain a good attitude, and make self-development more effective.

4. The fourth sign of mental maturity is to understand society with a positive attitude.

Whether a person can stand tall, stand far, develop himself actively, accept social choices, and believe that "My talent is useful by Nature" and "pay is definitely rewarding" does not care much about the current utilitarian gains and losses, it is also an important indicator of a person's maturity.

5. The fifth sign of mental maturity is to understand your own goals in life, what you want to do, what you can do, and how you choose your desired direction.

Benchmark for personality Maturity

Harvard professor orport, known as the "First Person in the personality research field", used the observation method in the phenomenon to study the maturity of personality. In his "Personality form and growth, the six elements of mature personality are proposed as the benchmark for personality maturity ".

1. Expansion of self-consciousness (self-feeling)

When a person is a baby, he only knows to love himself. Soon, his self-consciousness expands to his mother and friends. After an adult, no matter who they are, they will have the consciousness of "This is My Thing" for their clothes, money, and all things. If it is not limited to such a low level, but can expand to the occupation, family, or even to the Group, regional society, or country, it can be regarded as one of the characteristics of mature personality.

2. Close contact with others

Due to the expansion of self-consciousness, we can also establish intimacy and empathy for people around us. Do not speak ill about people, pick people wrong, complain, jealousy, ridicule, etc., respect each other, tolerate each other, do not reject each other, even the love of men and women, in addition to being loved, they are also eager for a lover, and can accept the current situation of the partner and understand the disadvantages of accommodating the other party.

3. Emotional Stability (self-Inclusion)

Treat your anger, fear, passion, and sexual impulse as a kind of "self-Emotion. Do not blindly suppress, do not drill the horns, so there is no risk of phobia and forced neurology. Try not to conflict with the surrounding environment. In addition, when encountering setbacks and dissatisfaction, it also has considerable endurance, will not lose your temper, complaints, will not blame others, self-pity from AI. Always reflect on yourself, wait for the opportunity, and seek a solution to the problem to avoid high mood or overcome emotional disorder.

 

Of course, a person with a mature personality cannot remain calm and calm at any time. Since we are human beings, we are inevitably able to change the mood of happiness, anger, sorrow, joy, and so on. Sometimes we are inexplicably depressed. But he will never be influenced by these emotions. Then, he will make impulsive behaviors, which will damage the welfare of others. He will be able to maintain his own emotional state and live happily, yesby
A sense of balance and self-control. Even if you are in danger, you will not be flustered or worried, and you will not feel any threat to others' emotional performance.

 

4. awareness and skills of reality

 

Be able to correctly understand the reality and have the skills to solve the problem. Although a person with a high degree of wisdom is not necessarily a person with a mature personality, wisdom is an indispensable part of a mature personality. Lack of skills in your career (if a housewife is a household task), even if the remaining points are qualified, it cannot be said that it is a mature personality.

In addition, the ability to invest in your own work is equally important as correct cognition and skills. The ability to invest in work refers to the kind of enthusiasm for self-input work when there is a subject.

5. Self-view and objective-insight and humor

 

We take ourselves as the object and make objective inspections, that is, we must truly gain insight into ourselves and understand ourselves. Many people think that they know themselves very well. In fact, there are not many people who really know themselves.

In addition to understanding yourself, you must also have a sense of humor. True humor refers to the contrast between yourself and yourself in theory who keep staring at yourself at a certain distance, and perceive it as "Witty ". Humor is different from crude ridicule, meaningless jokes, and aggressive ridicule.

 

Young children may feel humorous and ridiculous, but do not have the ability to laugh at themselves. The same is true for young people. When a failure occurs, it is often difficult to smile.

In fact, life is like a play. Being able to objectively stare at the roles you perform and face ups and downs in your life with a humorous attitude is a manifestation of a mature personality.

6. Unified Philosophy of Life

 

Take your own life as a meaningful thing and have a philosophy of life that unifies various activities of life. The philosophy mentioned here does not refer to specialized theories, but to the creed and goal of personal life. That is to say, we have set a policy to regard what is the highest value in life and how to live it. It can also be said that it has its own unique outlook on life. Orport also believes that religious sentiment and conscience are the most basic conditions for mature personality.