Do you really have a question?

Is it important to ask questions effectively?

Chat with big meow:

Me: "What do I have to do with the bad place Baa?" ”

Big meow: "All very good ~ I will not be fooled." "(a watchful face)

Me: "Then I ask the law, in which aspects how to treat you, you will feel more happy?" ”

Big Meow thought: "More everyday, more life, more relaxed." ”

　　How to get information by asking questions is a learning subject. This is the lesson that I have learned recently.

When you start to focus on something, all the relevant information will find you. After I realized the problem, I found that some examples and phenomena can be explained by this, and can form a set of methodologies, guidance to inspire others, can also help to think about problems.

I have a friend K, he is my life mentor type of kind, whenever encountered some life fork choice, I will call him to ask his opinion, every time and he chat, I will have a clearer choice to judge. In the first few years, I thought it was the cause of experience, but in fact, he is a big deal I how much, the experience may not be the most friends, but can let me every time have a harvest, think the way of thinking good.

Later, when my thinking gradually widened, to help friends or learn to solve some problems or confusion, subconsciously also in a similar way. I began to use this method consciously when the public had received a number of readers ' consulting services a few times before. listen patiently, narrow down the problem by asking questions, eliminate irrelevant factors, identify the underlying problem, and then find a targeted approach.

　　Therefore, the most effective way to obtain information and find the crux of the problem is to effectively ask questions.

How to ask questions effectively?

Some people will say, ask questions who will not ah? But in fact, not to add a question mark is called question, nor is it in the tone of questions to read out is asking questions.

Effective questioning often does not leave open class problems.

What is an open class problem?

In general, "what", "how", "how", "where and where", "who" (What, how, when, where,why) can be regarded as open questions, such as "When do you like to eat fruit?" ”

The problem with open class is the closed question, can use "Yes or no", or "Yes, no" to 冋 answer questions, such as "Apples is fruit?" ”

Open-Class problems seem easy, but they are difficult to do in a conversation. There are three reasons why it is difficult to do this:

　　1. Ask no questions, the scope is too large.

For example, I write the article at the beginning of the situation, although it is an open question, but often because of too much scope, do not know where to start.

　　2. Easy to focus on negative.

When asking questions that are similar to what is lacking, the other person may be concerned about the relationship or face, without giving a real idea. For example, at the beginning of the article, or the boss asked the team, what are the shortcomings?

　　3. When listening, we are too easy to give others advice, too easy to jump directly to the conclusion.

Especially when we are familiar with the topic or experience, will often ask each other directly, "Have you ever tried to do this?" "Have you ever tried to do that?" "Such a wooden club, west a hammer, and then become a closed class problem, the information will become limited, because you start to try the answers, instead of thinking about the plan."

Here are some ways to refer to these scenarios.

　　The scenario for applying a question-asking method is quite extensive, such as in the following scenarios:

1. Help others to clarify the point, solve the problem. such as some confusion.

2. Get information. such as the case at the beginning of the article.

3. At a time of deadlock at the agreement on cooperation. such as in negotiations.

4. Inspire potential and self-reflection.

......

There are a number of steps and methods that can help you consciously train the problem-carrying skills:

　　1. Reduce the scope of the problem, through this step, to clarify the other person's real needs and objectives, rather than ostensibly claimed demand.

Most of the time, we don't know what we really want, and this kind of problem can inspire a sense of purpose.

Example:

Friend: I'm too busy, I can't do a lot of things I want to do. What should I do?

A: This question is a bit big, so you call me this time, after we talk, what do you want to be different or improve in particular?

Friend: Well ... I work overtime too much, occupy a lot of personal time, so it may be to improve the efficiency of it.

So by narrowing the scope of the problem and focusing the new problem on "How to improve work efficiency", we can eliminate some irrelevant information by asking the question in depth in such a layer.

　　2. Focus on different time periods and ask questions related to past, present and future.

By narrowing the scope and positioning to the real goal, you can try to ask questions about different time ranges, such as what has been tried in the past, whether there was a similar situation before, what the scenario would be like in the coming year or three years.

Example:

Reader: I'm not sure if I want to leave the current unit, it's stable, but it's still there.

A: Let's imagine what the situation would be like if you were here ten years later.

Reader: May become and now units of elder sisters, chat is nothing but husband, children, school District Room bar.

A: What is the state of your ideal time?

Reader: Busy and fulfilling, growing up and challenging yourself.

A: How do you feel when you stay here for the next ten years and ten years from now?

Reader: It may be a pity not to try another.

A: What have you done in your current unit to try to achieve your ideal state?

Reader: I have done the same thing, but it seems that I have not reached the desired state.

A: When do you think the state is ideal before you work in this unit?

Reader: my first job.

A: What is the difference between now and then?

......

By focusing on the behaviors, thoughts, and emotions of different time periods, problems can be compared in different ways and angles, helping them to understand themselves more clearly and making decisions easier.

　　3. In a positive way.

When asked about possible negative feedback, the person who answers may be worried about damaging their relationship or face, having difficulty giving a real idea, or simply avoiding the problem. Thinking more about "what else can I do" and "What other options do I have now" would be easier to open up.

Counter Example:

Boss: What are the shortcomings of this plan?

Team:...... Pretty much, nothing, it's good.

Example:

Boss: This program, where else can we do better?

Team: Maybe at the process/execution level, there are some things we can do better.

　　4. What is the immediate action that can be done.

In the implementation of specific actions, there are sometimes very many programmes that are difficult to implement at the same time. There were also times when a scheme was not there, and it seemed that all the roads were blocked. In this case, you can focus on some small aspects as a breakthrough.

Try to ask, if there is a way/action that can be done immediately, what will it be? It will be easier to disassemble the problem and find out which part of the problem can be solved.

What should be noted in the question?

There are some minefield areas to be aware of when using the question method:

　　1. Don't judge easily and tap into real needs.

Most of the time we feel that we are doing well, or that we know better, it is easy to judge the intervention. And when this emotion is perceived, it turns on self-protection, so that no real and effective information can be found.

Counter Example:

Friend: I'm too busy, I can't do a lot of things I want to do. What should I do?

A: I think busy is actually an excuse, in the final analysis or you do not really want to do.

Friends:...... I really busy turn over the good, last night overtime to 11 O ' home, wash on the fast 12 o ' sleep only.

A: You can get up early in the morning.

Friends:...... You're a tough guy.

In the above example, I still did not dig into the real demand. And if the other person really listens to the proposal, the problem solution is directly reduced to "early", the wrong direction is found. Not to do is not the highest cost, wrong is the highest cost.

　　2. Do not rush to the other side of the answer, always ask open-class questions to help find a solution.

As mentioned above, when we start to intervene to give advice, often huidong a wooden club, west a hammer to ask, the information obtained is actually limited, because the scope has been limited.

It is like you have 100 keys, to unlock, instead of starting to try each one can open, rather than first to think about, how to narrow the scope of the reasonable to try again.

Counter Example:

Friend: I'm too busy, I can't do a lot of things I want to do. What should I do?

A: Have you ever tried to concentrate and do less of a useless thing?

Friend: Yes, I just want to go home after work to have time to read the book to see the American drama.

A: Have you used some of the debris time?

Friends: can use the use of Ah, the noon break, come back from work on the road are used, time or not enough.

A: Why don't you try to get up early?

Friends:...... All right.

Although the above is also asking questions, but each question, contains a hidden suggestion, packaging the proposal to the other side, in fact, is not an open class problem. If you ask, there may be an answer, but always in the way of touch, inefficient.

Little Story

Finally, let's tell a story by convention.

When there is a sports club and the tennis instructor is not enough, let the ski instructor take the place of class. Tennis students have a certain level of foundation, the results of the ski instructor to teach the students, than the tennis instructor to teach the students a lot higher level.

Why is it? What did the ski instructor teach? There are three important steps:

1. Because the ski instructor does not understand tennis, the bite-bullet and students said: "First hit the ball." ”

2. After the game, ask the student: "What do you think of this ball?" "The students think about it and feel uncomfortable in which part of the body." The coach said: "You adjust this area, and then send a ball." ”

3. After another ball goes out, ask the student: "How do you feel compared to the previous one?" "Next again on this basis to adjust."

In this way, continuous adjustment, continuous polishing, the level of students also improved a large section.

This story is a bit exaggerated, but it actually means that everyone has the basic ability and consciousness to reflect and solve problems. When you are aware of a problem and try to come up with a solution, you need to inspire greater potential than external solutions.

This is why you should not provide solutions directly, ask questions about open-class issues, and let the other person make their own solutions.

　　Sometimes we just need to borrow someone's perspective or ideas and ask ourselves. That's all.

Do you really have a question?