EQ Cultivation Expert: How do successful people control their emotions?

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How successful people stay calm

Managing your emotions and staying calm under pressure is directly related to your performance. Talentsmart has conducted research on more than 1 million people, and we found that 90% of the best performers are good at managing their emotions at moments of tension, so as to stay calm and control their emotions.

If you follow our press release, you may have learned some surprising research conclusions: excessive tension may affect your physical and mental health. For example, a Yale University study found that long periods of tension could lead to degradation of the self-controlled area in the brain.

Both tension and anxiety are necessary emotions. Our brain is very strange. It is difficult to take action before we feel a certain level of emotion. In fact, moderate tension can increase activity and achieve the highest performance. As long as you are in a tight state for a long time, it will not cause harm.

The University of California Berkeley study reveals the benefits of moderate tension. But their researchers also stressed the importance of controlling tension. The study, led by post-doctoral Elizabeth Kirby, found that nervousness can trigger the brain to generate new cells responsible for improving memory. However, this effect can be achieved only with intermittent tension. As long as the tension lasts for more than a few minutes and enters the long-term state, it will inhibit the ability of the brain to generate new cells.

"I think that intermittent stress events can enable the brain to be vigilant and often achieve better performance when being vigilant ." KABI said. Animals often experience intermittent tension in the form of physical threats they encounter in real-time environments. Long ago, humans were in the same environment. However, with the evolution of human brains and the increase in complexity, we have developed the capabilities of anxiety and persistence, which often leads us to long periods of tension.

In addition to increasing the risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity, tension also reduces your cognitive ability. Fortunately, unless you are chased by lions, most of the tension is subjective and can be controlled by you. People with the highest performance can deploy a set of good response strategies when they are in a tight environment. Whatever happens in their environment, you can reduce the tension and ensure that the tension they experience is intermittent and will not last long.

I have seen a lot of successful people who have taken effective measures in the face of a tense environment. The top 10 tips will be listed below. It seems obvious, but the real difficulty is that you must be aware of when you need to use these strategies and use the necessary means when you are surrounded by tension, implement these policies.

Thanks for what you have.

Take a moment to think about what you are grateful. This is not just a "correct" thing, but it can also improve your mood, because it can reduce the stress hormone levels by 23%. A study by the University of California, Davis, found that if you try to cultivate a grateful attitude every day, you can improve your mood, energy, and even get a healthier body. The decrease in the levels of cortisol seems to play an important role in this process.

Do not ask "if"

"If" only increases tension and anxiety. Things can develop in 1 million different directions. The more time you spend worrying about various possibilities, the less time you have to concentrate on taking actions so that you can calm yourself down and control your emotions. Calm people understand that asking questions like "if" only puts them in a state of reluctance.

Maintain a positive attitude

You can focus your brain on things that are not under pressure at all, and use positive thoughts to help you achieve intermittent tension. You must think about some positive things to help your mind. Any positive thinking can restore your attention. When things are going smoothly, your mood will be good and it is relatively easy. However, when things are not doing well, your mind will be filled with various negative thoughts, which is very challenging.

In this case, think about your daily life and find a positive thing, no matter how insignificant it is. If you cannot find such a thing from the day, think about the previous day, or even the previous week. Or, you can look forward to an exciting thing so that you can focus on it. The key to this article is that you must find some positive things to reverse your attention when your mood turns to negative.

Network disconnection

It is very important to interrupt the tension into an intermittent state, so it is not difficult to understand that regular network disconnection can control your nervousness. When you are working on standby around the clock, you will encounter various stress sources one after another. Force yourself to go offline, and then take a deep breath, turn off your phone, you can let yourself away from this kind of tension. Research shows that you only need to disable email to reduce the stress level.

Technology gives us the ability to communicate at any time, and many people think that we should be on standby around the clock. In today's era, your mobile phone may receive emails at any time, changing your thinking track and allowing you to think about things at work. Under such circumstances, even if you are not in the work environment, it is difficult to enjoy a moment of peace without pressure.

If you think it is difficult to cut off work communication channels on workday nights, why not try it on weekends? Select a time period to completely disconnect the network. At this time, you will feel how refreshing this short rest. You can use this method to power your mind once a week to effectively relieve stress.

If you are worried about the negative effects, first try some time that is unlikely to be contacted by someone, such as Sunday morning. As you gradually adapt to this situation and your colleagues gradually accept the fact that they cannot find you, you can slowly extend the network disconnection time.

Reduce caffeine intake

Caffeine intake can promote the secretion of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of combat response. This is actually a survival mechanism that forces you to get up and fight in the face of threats or turn and escape. The "battle" mechanism skips rational thinking and achieves faster response. When you are chased by bears, this can help you save your life. However, it is not a good thing to reply to an email.

When caffeine puts your brain and body in this highly intense state, your mood is beyond the limits of your behavior. This tension created by caffeine is never intermittent, because it has a long half-life, so it takes a long time to completely remove it from the body.

Sleep

I have been advocating this article for many years, and I have already elaborated on the importance of sleep for EQ and stress management. When you are sleep, the brain is equivalent to charging, which sorts out all-day memories, stores or gives up all kinds of content (which leads to a dream ). So when you wake up, you will feel clear-headed.

When you have insufficient sleep, your self-control, attention, and memory will decrease. Even if there is no stress source, just sleep insufficiency can increase the stress hormone level. When you are engaged in intense projects, you often feel as if you have no time to go to bed. But a good sleep is usually necessary for you to regain control of the situation.

Abandon negative self-conversations

The key to managing tension is to stop negative self-conversations. The more you fall into negative thinking, the more powerful you will be to these thoughts. Most of your negative thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. When you find yourself believing in negative and negative things, your inner voice will say, "it's time to stop and write them down ." At this time, please stop and write down what you think in your mind. Once you spend some time slowing down the rate at which negative factors spread in your mind, you can arouse more rational thinking and evaluate their accuracy with a clearer mind.

It is certain that your statement is not a fact when you use words like "never", "worst", and "never. If you still feel like a fact after putting these ideas on paper, give them to your trusted friends or colleagues to see if they will agree with you. Then, the facts will naturally pop up. When you feel that something will happen forever or never, it is just the natural threat tendency of your brain, which increases the frequency or severity of a thing. Identifying your thoughts and separating them from facts helps you jump out of a vicious circle and look forward to positive prospects.

Reconstruct your own ideas

Tension and anxiety come from our own distorted ideas about things. It is hard to imagine that unrealistic deadlines, harsh bosses, and out-of-control traffic are all factors that put pressure on us. You cannot control the surrounding environment, but you can control your reaction to the environment. Therefore, when you spend a lot of time thinking about something, you should also take a few minutes to correctly view the environment. If you are not sure when to adopt this approach, try to find clues to see if your anxiety is not proportional to the corresponding stress source.

If you are thinking about the global situation, you should give up such expressions as "Everything is wrong" or "Everything is not successful. Then, you need to reconstruct the environment. To correct this futile mindset, you can list specific problems. In most cases, you can only list a few things, and it is unlikely that everything will go wrong. In this case, the impact scope of these stress sources will be much lower than you expected.

Deep breath

In fact, the simplest way to interrupt tension is exactly what we do every moment: breathing. When you are in a tense mood, you can use breathing to train your brain to focus on the tasks at hand, and to dispel the tension from your brain. When you are feeling nervous, spend a few minutes focusing on breathing. Close the door, remove all distracting factors, and then sit in the chair and breathe quietly.

The purpose of this is to focus all your energy on breathing, so as to avoid your mind wandering around. Think about the feeling of breathing and breathing. This sounds easy, but most people can only last for a minute or two. It doesn't matter if you are interrupted by other ideas. This will certainly happen in the beginning. You just need to concentrate on it again. If it is difficult for you to focus on your breathing, try the number of times you breathe in your heart, and start from 1 after 20. If you forget to count to a few, you can start from scratch at any time.

This seems simple and even stupid, but after you have done it, you will be pleasantly surprised by the actual effect. It can indeed help you recover to calm down, and it's easy to disperse things that distract you.

Use your own Support System

Although it is tempting to solve all the problems with your own strength, it is actually totally ineffective. You need to recognize your weaknesses and seek help when necessary. In other words, you should make full use of your support system when you are facing huge challenges and feeling exhausted. Everyone has their own teams and supporters, both working and living, who can help us better cope with difficulties.

Find such a person and try to seek help when necessary. Sometimes, complaints with them are enough to relieve anxiety and tension and let yourself recognize the situation again. Most of the time, others can see what you can't see, because they didn't put too much emotion into it like you do. Seeking help can relieve tension and strengthen the relationship between you and the people you depend on.

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