Self-control note

Doing things on your own is always done halfway and tomorrow, and this bad habit has caused losses to you by keeping an estimate of six digits.

Therefore, I bought this psychology course named "self-control". After reading this course, I felt very helpful. At least I could understand some of my behavior sources.

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The full text is long. Here we only release the first three chapters:

Self-control

Kelly magrenegel

 

01. I want to do it. I don't want it. I want to: What is willpower? Why is willpower critical?

"I want to do" and "I don't want" are two manifestations of self-control, but they are not all about willpower. To achieve self-control, you have to clarify your goals at critical moments. This is the power of "I want.

 

Some neuroscientists even think that we only have one brain, but we have two ideas. Or we have two ego in our head. When two people disagree, one party will always defeat the other. The one who decides to give up does not do anything wrong, but what the two sides think is important is different.

Self-Note: You must reconcile yourself and recognize yourself. Do not deny yourself out of control for a moment. The brain is parallel in multiple ways of thinking. There is no wrong way of thinking, but different ways think that what is important is different. If there is no emergency and you don't think twice about the decisions you have made, what you really need to do is to write out the tasks listed in the plan in advance.

 

Law 1 of willpower: recognize yourself. (Self-Note: conscious)

Without self-awareness, the self-control system will be useless. When making a decision, you must realize that you need willpower at the moment. Sometimes we cannot realize that we have made the decision. Distracted people are more likely to succumb to temptation. If you are thinking about other things, the impulse will dominate your choice.

 

Willpower experiment:Select a day and write down all your decisions. At the end of the day, let's look back at your decisions and find out which will help you achieve your goals and which will consume your will. Record your decisions for a week and observe how you succumb to impulse.

 

Meditation Training:Relax and sit quietly and focus on your attention. When you find yourself a little distracted, you can focus on your breath again. At the beginning, you can exercise for 5 minutes every day. Try to make it every day for 10-15 minutes. If there is a burden, it will be reduced to 5 minutes. Try to meditate at a fixed time every day, such as before washing in the morning.

Meditation does not mean you don't want to worry about anything, but does not mean you don't need to be too distracted or forget your initial goal. If you cannot concentrate during meditation, don't worry. You only need to do more exercises and focus your attention on breathing.

 

02. Willpower instinct: Life can resist the temptation of cheesecake

What is a threat?

We always feel that temptation and trouble come from the external world. However, self-control tells us that the problem lies in ourselves. It is because our thoughts, desires, emotions, and impulses have gone wrong. The most important thing for your willpower challenge is to recognize what is the internal impulse that requires restraint. What ideas or feelings force you to make decisions when you are reluctant? If you are not sure, you can make some field observations. Next time you are tempted, try to focus on your own inner world.

 

Anything that puts pressure on your body and mind will affect the physiological basis of self-control and even destroy your willpower. Anxiety, anger, and depression are all related to poor self-control. Chronic pain and chronic diseases consume the body and brain's willpower reserves. The meditation exercise in the previous chapter is the simplest and most effective method. It not only trains the brain, but also improves the physiological basis of self-control. There are also some ways to reduce stress and maintain health, such as exercise, good sleep, healthy diet, and good time with friends and family members, can enhance your willpower reserves.

 

Willpower experiment:Automatic control through breathing

A quick way to increase willpower: reduce the frequency of breathing to four minutes ~ 6 times, that is, every breath takes 10-15 seconds. Slowing down breathing activates the forehead cortex and helps adjust your body and body from stress to self-control. After a few minutes of training, you will feel calm, controllable, impulsive, and challenged.

Research shows that sticking to this exercise can increase your vigilance and help you reserve your willpower. As long as 1 ~ 2 minutes of breathing training can increase your willpower reserve.

 

Exercise like meditation can make your brain more enriched and run faster. If you answer both of the following questions, it is a movement. 1. Are you sitting, standing, or lying down? 2. will you cook and eat junk food? Any activity that allows you to leave the chair can increase your willpower reserve.

 

Insufficient sleep affects the body and brain to absorb glucose. When you are exhausted, even if you eat sugar or coffee, your body and brain will not be able to get energy, because they cannot be used effectively. This is not good news for self-control, because self-control consumes your limited mental power. Research shows that the effect of sleep shortage on the brain is the same as that of mild drunkenness.

In a study, five minutes of meditation training each day helped patients recover to sleep, increasing their daily effective sleep time by one hour.

 

For those who are hard to go to bed early, the real problem is not to force themselves to go to bed, but to stay away from things that make them unable to go to bed. If you know that you should get more sleep, but you cannot go to bed early, don't want to go to bed. Think about what you say "I want ". This willpower rule also applies to what you want to escape or delay-when you don't know what you want to do, you may need to know what you don't want to do.

 

The price for too much self-control

Self-control is costly. Focus, weigh goals, relieve stress, restrain desires, etc. All these mental tasks require energy and real body energy.

We all know that the stress Conference affects your health. If you are under pressure for a long time, your body will constantly shift your energy to respond to emergencies.

Self-control requires a lot of energy. We need time to restore the physical strength consumed by self-control. Sometimes we also need to consume mental and physical strength in other aspects. To maintain a healthy and happy life, you need to give up the perfect control of your willpower. Even if you increase your willpower, you cannot fully control what you think, feel, say, or do. You need to use the willpower energy wisely.

 

Willpower experiment:Relaxation can restore your willpower reserve

Research shows that taking time each day to relax can protect your body while enhancing your willpower reserves.

The "relaxation" here does not mean sitting on a TV or enjoying a full meal with red wine. The "relaxation" that can increase the willpower is a real physical and mental rest. Herbertbenson, a heart expert at Harvard Medical School, called physiological relaxation ". Your heart rate and breathing rate will slow down, your blood pressure will drop, and your muscles will relax. Your brain will not go back to planning the future or analyze the past.

To stimulate this relaxation reaction, you need to lie down, put your knees on your pillow, and raise your legs slightly. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to feel the ups and downs in your abdomen. If you feel that your body is very nervous, you can consciously squeeze or contract your muscles, and then don't worry about him any more. For example, if you find that your palms and fingers are very tight, you just need to blow your fist and open your palm. If you find that your forehead and Chin are very tight, you will squeeze your eyes and frown, then open your mouth and relax your face. Keep this status 5 ~ For 10 minutes, try to enjoy this state without any need to breathe. If you are worried about falling asleep, set an alarm first.

You can use this as a daily exercise. This exercise can be performed especially when you are in a high-pressure environment or require willpower. Relaxation can restore your physiological functions while eliminating the impact of chronic stress and self-control.

 

From a scientific point of view, willpower is a kind of constantly evolving capability, and it is the instinct of everyone. Stress is the enemy of willpower. However, we often mistakenly think that stress is the only way to solve self-control problems. Sometimes, we even try to increase our stress, such as dragging to the last minute, criticizing ourselves for being too lazy, and saying that we have no self-control power to motivate ourselves. Or, we want to press on others, such as increasing the temperature in the office or stretching a face at home. This may be effective in the short term, but in the long term, nothing consumes more willpower than stress. The Physiological Basis of stress and self-control is mutually exclusive. Stress allows you to focus on real-time, short-term goals and results. Self-control requires your brain to have a broader vision. Learning how to better manage stress is an important part of improving willpower.

 

In 2008, the study found that American adults slept on average 2 hours less per night than in 1960. The researchers also found that too much sleep will lead to uncontrollable impulses and inability to concentrate, which is similar to attention defects and ADHD. A sharp increase in the probability of ADHD is likely to be related to this sleep habit, because children are often affected by adult sleep habits and children need more sleep.

 

People who are exhausted and under high pressure will have obvious self-control weaknesses. Bad habits (such as overeating and sleep) not only consume our physical strength, but also bring more pressure, we have stolen our self-control capabilities.

 

When the willpower challenges we face are too powerful, we can easily come to the conclusion that I am a weak, lazy, unwillpower waste. But normally, our brains and bodies are not self-controlled. When we are under a chronic stress, what challenges willpower is the most impulsive and short-term self. To win the challenge of willpower, we need to adjust to the correct state of mind and body, and use energy to control ourselves, rather than confrontation. This means that we need to recover from the pressure to ensure that we have the energy to do our best.

 

03. Tired to resist: Why is the self-control force as powerful as the muscles?

 

Deep Analysis of willpower: willpower FluctuationSelf-control will gradually decrease from the morning to the evening. This week, I tried to observe when I had the strongest willpower and when I was the easiest to give up. Do you have enough willpower when you get up, but this willpower is slowly exhausted? Or do you feel refreshed when you feel that you have recovered your willpower at other times? You can plan your calendar more intelligently by understanding yourself so that you can restrain yourself when your willpower is exhausted.

 

An important willpower rule:If you feel that you don't have time and energy to deal with what you want to do, arrange it when you have the strongest willpower.

 

Willpower experiment: willpower diet plan

The sudden increase in sugar Club gives you a stronger willpower for emergencies in the short term. However, in the long run, relying too much on sugar is not a good method for self-control. A better way is to ensure that your body has enough food supply to give you more lasting energy. Most psychologists and nutritionists recommend a hypoglycemia diet because it can stabilize your blood sugar. Hypoglycemia foods include lean protein, nuts and beans, crude fiber cereals and cereals, and most fruits and vegetables.

 

Train "willpower muscles"

For example, you can set a time limit and complete the task within the specified time.

Continuous self-control in some trivial matters will increase the overall willpower. These include changing your posture, exercising your grip, quitting sweets, and recording expenses.

The "Muscles" trained in these studies make you get into habits, focus on what you are doing, and make choices harder, not the simplest. Through each willpower exercise, the brain begins to think twice. The minor details of these tasks also affect the entire process. These tasks are challenging, but not insurmountable. Self-discipline requires attention, so it does not produce serious fatigue. Therefore, the subject can train "self-control muscles" through seemingly unimportant willpower challenges without worrying about being unable to stick to the ground.

 

Willpower experiment: Exercise willpower

* Enhance the power of "I don't want": Do not swear (or do not say a certain MANTRA), do not fool your feet when you sit down, do not use uncommon hands for daily activities, such as eating and opening the door.

* Enhance the power of "I want": Do something every day (but not what you are already doing) to develop habits or stop looking for excuses. You can call your family, meditate for five minutes, or find something to throw or reuse at home every day.

* Enhance your self-monitoring capabilities: record things that you don't usually pay attention to. They can be your expenses, diet, or the time you spend on surfing the Internet and watching TV.

 

If you want to completely change your old habits, you 'd better first find a simple way to train self-control and increase your willpower, rather than setting a high goal.

 

In-depth analysis: Is your sense of attention true?

We always give up training when we feel tired, and add to the other half, drag things to the next second, select a pizza instead of making a healthy meal. Certainly, the need to survive will indeed exhaust our willpower, but you actually have more willpower than giving up when you feel tired for the first time. The next time you feel that you are "exhausted" and cannot control yourself, try to challenge yourself and feel the first wave of attention. However, be careful not to overtrain. If you constantly feel exhausted, you need to consider whether you are exhausted.

 

As long as you want, you have the will

It turns out that the "willpower muscle" can also be used with the right incentives for a longer period of time. This kind of motivation is not an obvious motivation. It can only help people stick to it at an important turning point. For example, if you can imagine that "rejecting temptation" will become your second nature during smoking cessation, you will be more willing to survive the Temporary pain.

 

Willpower experiment: What is the power of your "I want?

When your willpower is in a hurry, you can tap into your "I want" power to restore your energy. In the face of your greatest willpower challenge, you can consider the following motivations.

1. If the challenge succeeds, What will you gain? What do you personally return? You will be healthier, happier, more free, richer, or more successful.

2. Who will benefit from the success of the challenge? Someone depends on you, and your choice affects them. How does your behavior affect your family, friends, colleagues, employers or employees, neighbors? How will your success help them?

3. If you are willing to do difficult things now, this challenge will become easier after a while. You can imagine what your life will look like if you make progress in this challenge, and what it will look like yourself? If you know that you still have more room for improvement, will your discomfort be worthwhile?

 

When you discover your most important "I want" power and what gives you strength when you are weak, as long as you feel that you have to give up before temptation, think about this motivation.

 

Sometimes, our strongest motivation is not what we think, or what we think is "probably. If you are pleasing others by changing your behavior or becoming a better person, you can see if there are other "I want" forces that can keep you up.

 

Daily consumption

Daily self-control will consume willpower, And we need these willpower to resist the temptation of daily life. "Architecture selection" allows people to make decisions more easily based on their own values and goals.

Self-control note