[Post] a classic sick

[Post] Classic errors

1. The first time a primary school student participated in the School recitation competition, he was very nervous. The teacher encouraged me for a long time and sweated his hands. Finally it's her turn. Students gritted their teeth and walked to the center of Taiwan in a few steps: "Teachers, students, the question I recited is: Red Leaf mad (maple)... (Maple Leaf red)   2. I am still a primary school student. I am very envious of the students who have been noticed by the teacher. I always hope that the teacher can let me read it again. The opportunity has finally arrived. "So-and-so, read your essay! The pupils stood up one by one: "My Teacher". Teacher, I am more like your mother ......" 3. This is the host of a song and dance troupe. After a performance, I had to rush to the stage without preparation. The performances are performed in sequence. It was her turn to report: "Audience friends, please listen to the child flute playing below ......" 4. I often plant scallions in a basin in winter to keep them fresh. My sister came home and said happily to her mother, "Hey! Mom, this is really scallion... "my mom and I are smiling. 5. I have a neighbor named "dagu" who ride a bicycle to work every day. Early in the morning, when I met her at the door, I smiled politely and said, "upper Gu, large class..." Sorry !...... I wanted to bite my tongue. 6. A female said, "My breasts are not beautiful? "I was shocked and said," Oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce. " 7. When I was a primary school student, I decided at the school Conference: "We want to learn the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army crawling through the snow-capped mountains." From then on, I was denied the right to speak politically! 8. when I was a child, my dad gave me a text book about Liu Hulan. When Liu Hulan voluntarily admitted to the Japanese devils that she was *** trying to save the lives of all villagers, an old man helped her, the line is: "Xiao Xiangzi, are you crazy ?! "But in the age of ***, a poor rural child read aloud:" Hello, crazy, are you sweet ?" 9. When I was in high school, the teacher asked my deskmate to read the text. The female had always read the text vividly and vividly. On that day, she also read the text with the help of the textbooks: He sticks to the record in the blizzard, holding a steel gun in his hand) What we heard is ..... He sticks to the record in the blizzard, holding a pen in his hand ...... ... The class was silent, the teacher smiled, and the students fell .... 10. All stand up! Raise the national anthem... 11. I took my son to feed the duck. He scrubbed the duck with bread and chased the duck everywhere. I followed him with his apple (he does not like to eat, I can only serve him when he is distracted ). He kept running, and I kept shouting at him: "Come eat an apple and chase the duck again! "I always repeat this sentence, and finally shouted out:" Come and eat a duck... "And then cleverly stop the lock. 12. I remember when I was in elementary school, there was a piece of text called waterfall. When I talked about the author turning a mountain and seeing a waterfall hanging down the mountain, one of my female students was also reading it with emotion: I was shocked when I turned over the mountain. A rag was hanging on the mountain... The class was stunned. 13. There is also a text taken from a Russian writer's novel: The houses here are from the masters (rich people. As a result, one of my male students reads: The house here is owned by the old man. As soon as the voice fell, our Chinese teacher asked him with a puzzled question: where does the old lady live? 14. what's most classic is that I once watched Dou Wentao talk about the anecdote I just hosted, not to mention opening a curtain call ..... what impressed me the most was that he said that when he hosted a party, he calmly went up and said with deep affection: "friends, have you ever seen the Yellow River? Do you know it's our mother river ~~" After a deep introduction to the Yellow River, he said, "Listen to the song of the Yangtze River." 15 I remember that when I went to school, I had no girl in our class to sign up for the sports meeting. Our Sports Committee member (boys) was very anxious and announced in the class with the Registration Form: Tell you, the girls have heard it clearly, if you do not register, you will be forced to register ). Girls are angry. 16 once, I even called my classmates and the other party picked up the phone and gave me a feed. I suddenly forgot who I called. Well, after a long time, I came up with a saying: Who are you? 17 friends gathered and chatted about someone who was sad. "tears turned red and eyes fell down." No one responded to the audience and went home afterwards and smiled. On one occasion, the host of Good morning Shanghai on Shanghai TV blurted out: Do not come back after the advertisement. ^_^ It seems that advertisements are annoying, and even the host cannot handle them. 19. A new clerk was reciting everything. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said, "I want you to pay XX yuan. I want to contact you for XX yuan, do you need a straw? The old lady suddenly fainted ...... 20. My deskmates read the magic as a chicken (MACHINE), stir-fried garlic (computer ). 21 another time, sleeping at night in winter, probably the temperature of the electric blanket is too high, said to the students, hello, you open the electric blanket to the fresh-keeping file. 22 A few days ago, when I joined Iraq in the United States, my classmates and I would like to go back to school. His mother said: The train is too slow. You two have Iraqi cars. We fainted on the spot. 23. Buy "Pulsating" drinks, "Boss, bottle the 'arterial '" 24 that day, I just entered the office and the plmm shouted at me: "Mr. Wang, have you bought a newspaper? Let me see today's Room <! --> Special event journal ." I fainted on the spot. Even if you talk about "House and house" all day long, you cannot refer to "House" as "House! --> Special event journal! 25 when I was in high school, the teacher asked me to translate a sentence: An arrow roared over my ears. I confused the word "Arrow" with "Sparrow", so I translated it into: a sparrow blew a whistle and flew over my ear. As a result, the class did not take a good course. 26 on the third day of the year, a chemistry teacher was very beautiful. One day, the oxygen drainage method was used. She said that the gas pipe was like a fart pipe, and the class smiled! 27. Next-shift Chinese Teacher: I want to talk about multiple choices in Chinese: students, why don't I select a? Yes, because a is incorrect. Why don't I select B? Yes, because B is incorrect. Why don't I select C, yes, because C is incorrect. So this question should be selected? I shouted D in unison. Yes. Let's talk about the next question.

 [Post] classic mistakes (continued)

1. In high school, girls are required to wear school uniforms to school for activities. the next day, when the weather was bad, girls all went to school with school uniforms. some boys don't wear any clothes and wear girls' school uniforms if they feel cold. the math teacher read and said, "boys take off all girls' clothes ",........ the class was speechless and then burst into laughter for 10 minutes ....   2. I ordered five dishes and four hot dishes last time with my friends. After waiting for a long time, my friend asked, "How many dishes have we ordered ?" Even blurts out: "four cold ones are cold ." 3. There is an elevator in the air conditioner! 4. During the college entrance examination, a student had high myopia, so he carried the test table filled with e back, but still failed. We asked him how he could do it. He said: I can't see where the baton is .. Fainted on the spot. 5. When I went back to my bedroom after my last squatting, I heard my classmates say, "I really want to taste the smell of death. "(what movie was he watching at the time) I immediately replied," you said, I just rushed."