Confessions of a Runaway

2014.8.29 3:08

At the moment, I finally realized the taste of Chute, even though I was lying in bed at home.

I cancelled all SNS account, as far as possible deleted I left traces, uninstall their software, including mobile end, leaving only a micro-letter, convenient for my parents contact me, friends in the circle is the deletion of friends will be deleted, the block blocks.

Having done all this, I felt a little relief.

Over the past few years, I use SNS to contact others, understand the world and society, build interest, stimulate their own desire and motivation, it seems to have achieved unprecedented success, I became more popular than no use of SNS before the popularity of better, more witty and knowledgeable and profound thinking.

But I feel more and more self-doubt, confusion and restlessness. I'm a little confused about the fun of me on the internet, I'm not real, I'm looking at other people's lives, grabbing the fun part, and feeling a little bit more interesting. Who knows the hypocrisy of this, it was sweet, and it made me understand things I had never seen before, and indeed some of the qualities that I admired came into my body, but I ended them, if only to relieve my anxiety and self-doubt.

Today, I finally ended my social networking career for about 5 years, all in all, because I wanted to live a more real life, I've seen enough of the rest of the day, I can't stand the ambiguity of "having his micro-credit/Twitter/everyone", Do not want to be 140 words to limit their own expression (this really bad article is the language of organizational decline in the evidence), do not want to just look, want to go out, want to really know, to feel, to meet my favorite people and things.

This may indeed be my impulse, my reliance on SNS is really deep, write this article in the process of even cut out to see several micro-blog, there are no friends to leave when I left a few words to do the reply-the result of course is not. A long time ago, I rely on these sites, as well as a good friend inside my time, can even say that I did learn something from here, found that I am interested in things, a part of my life even formed in this, leaving these, my interest will not stagnate? Will my experience be narrow? Would I be stupid and ignorant? Like the turtles I used to laugh at? I do not have enough confidence in this. Like a young man running away from home, he now feels the sun's unease and his pockets of change.

In the future, the loss of SNS I can only go to their own life, the loss of narcotics, time, energy to be nervous, with people can only play some of the poor straight ball, may not be in the maintenance of their own lives to continue to look so interesting, Knocking down here a few keyboard also just give nowhere to express desire a little export.

But I still want to go on, I really want to, not to play the cool and the high cold kind of thinking.

Remember the end of the TV version of Eva, accompanied by the Cruel Angel Action program, the anchorage to those who appeared in the immediate, he is like and afraid of people said: "This time, I want to stay." Everyone around him "untie the knot" and applaud, saying congratulations. I always thought it was a happy end. Not really, it was about a fantasy dream, he waited in the dream to appease, freed from his mother's long guard and wanted to remain in that dream for ever, perhaps he did not know that the real man had been lost, and that the cracked, seemingly self-aware demon, actually had produced a subtle error with the real world, but even so, For him, the closed world is also the happiest, in a sense, a true end.

I don't want to be like that, I can't do anything, I just sit up and walk away from my chair and say good-bye.