Look at two jokes:
A Scottish to London, want to visit an old friend by the way, but forgot his address, so sent a telegram to my father: "Do you know the address of Thomas? Quickly!" That day, he received An urgent call back: "I know."
A boy crush a girl for a long time. One day study class, the boys finally summon the courage to write a note to that girl, which read: In fact, I pay attention to you for a long time. Soon afterwards, the note was passed back with the words: "Please do not tell the teacher, I promise I will never go to class again!"
Conditions for effective communication
To achieve effective communication must have two necessary conditions: First, the sender of information clearly expressed the meaning of the information, so that the recipient can understand the exact information; Second, the sender of information attaches importance to the recipient of the response and timely response to modify the delivery of information , To avoid unnecessary misunderstanding. Both are indispensable.
The key to effective communication lies in the validity of information, and the effective level of information determines the effective level of communication. The effectiveness of information depends mainly on its transparency and feedback:
1. The degree of transparency of information. When a piece of information should be public information should not lead to the asymmetry of information, the information must be open. Public information does not mean simple information delivery, but to ensure that the recipient of information can understand the meaning of information. If you send in a kind of ambiguous, ambiguous text language is not clear, difficult to understand the message. It does not make any sense to the recipient of the message. On the other hand, the recipient of the information also has the right to obtain the connotation of the information related to his own interests, otherwise it may lead to the receiver of the information who is suspected of the motivation of the sender of the information.
2. Feedback level of information. Effective communication is a dynamic two-way behavior, and two-way communication should be adequate for the sender of the message. Only the communication between the Lord, the object both fully expressed their views on a certain issue, it really has the meaning of effective communication.
Why do you need to communicate effectively?
Communication is a mixture of natural sciences and social sciences, and an effective tool in life management. Communication is also a skill, which is the play of one's own knowledge, expression, and ability. Anyone who can not communicate effectively has a lot of communication barriers.
1. Effective communication can resolve conflicts. The same information will have different effects due to the different recipients. The filtering, retention, omission or distortion of the information is determined by the subjective factors of the recipient, as a result of the interaction of his environment, location, age, educational level and so on . Due to the different perceptions of information, effective communication is needed to bridge the differences so as to reduce the time and money losses caused by human subjective factors.
2. Effective communication is a means of transitioning from appearance to substance. Only from the reality of the problem can we solve the problem by seeking truth from facts. If we solve the problem simply by the superficial phenomenon of the thing, do not in-depth understanding of the situation, touch the nature of the problem, the problem may never be solved, or will waste a lot of unnecessary time and energy. If you happen to be a manager and you are not going to give up, you can influence or even change his attitude toward work and life through effective communication.
Obstacle to effective communication
1. Self-centered
Thinking is the foundation of communication, and any purposeful communication begins with self. Therefore, own thinking is an important factor affecting effective communication. People who are too superstitious in their own thinking methods must be subjective and arbitrary and lack an objective, fair and equitable mind. Neither can we look at ourselves nor do we look squarely at others, let alone set ourselves up to consider each other's point of view.
Effective communication is a dynamic two-way behavior, and two-way communication should be fully feedback, and only the communication of the main body, both sides of the object fully expressed their views on a certain issue, only have the significance of effective communication. Only in the process of enhancing the interaction between subject and object can we guide people from different perspectives and eliminate unnecessary misunderstandings and prejudices.
2. Expression is not clear
Confusion can not bring effective communication. If one does not understand what he or she is thinking, how can one speak clearly to others? However, a clear concept does not automatically guarantee effective communication. Perhaps I knew what I was going to say, but I probably did not express my opinion in a single statement. It is also taken for granted that his audience will realize what is not directly expressed.
The most common logic is the declarative sentence, the explanatory sentence is similar to the proposition. If I say "dog", "turtle", "falling stock prices in July," "Indian limestone facade of Indian architecture," you might guess I'm trying to relate different concepts but you do not know How they relate. This is because I did not make a complete statement. I need complete sentences, such as "The dog attacked the turtle," "the stock price that fell in July discouraged Wang," and "the limestone facade of that Indian architectural style was severely damaged by the gangster" .
3. Lack of sincere communication heart
Sincere is to understand the feelings of others bridge. The lack of sincerity in communication inevitably prejudices and misunderstandings, resulting in the exchange of information is distorted.
Some people like to subjective view as an objective fact. Tarzan is between Shandong and Shanxi. This is a proposition based on objective facts. It is either true or false. But if I say that Tarzan is beautiful, this proposition combines both subjective and objective factors. Under such circumstances, we must never make arbitrary judgments on the authenticity of subjective propositions, just as we have just done. True or false judgments of objective propositions are not controversial, but there are subjective propositions. If I want a subjective proposition accepted by everyone, I must argue it. Many people who are shy about other things often?
How to communicate effectively
1. Know what to say, to clearly communicate the purpose. If the purpose is not clear, it means that you do not know what to say, naturally it is impossible to let others understand that nature will not achieve the purpose of communication.
2. Know when to say, to master the communication time. When the person you are talking to is sweaty at work, you are asking him to discuss with you the next meeting, which is apparently outdated. Therefore, in order to achieve a good communication effect, we must master the communication time and grasp the heat of communication.
3. Know who to say, to clearly communicate the object. Although you put it well, but you choose the wrong object, of course, can not achieve the purpose of communication. If you are a physicist, discuss the uncertainty principle with other physicists at an academic conference and you are free to use your jargon. However, if you are explaining this principle to a group of ordinary people, you must use a more conventional language to facilitate understanding. Do not use jargon against outsiders, the key to understanding is understanding. The most taboo two things: First, arrogant attitude toward people; second pretentious, people foggy.
4. Know how to say, to master the methods of communication. You know who to say, what to say, and when to say it, but you do not know what to say and still find it hard to communicate. Communication is in a language you understand - including words, intonation, and body language, and what you learn is effective communication through the observation of these communication languages. For example: to avoid the use of ambiguous and polysemous language. Ambiguous and polysemous language does not express one or the other particular idea clearly, but walks between different concepts. Their common shortcoming is that there is no fixed, indisputable connotation. The meaning of a word is not clear, it is vague. Such as "people do not like that kind of music," we do not understand exactly what kind of music. Some words such as "love", "fairness", "kindness" and "evil" are all abstract words. Their own meaning is not absolutely unified. Therefore, in the use of such words, we must make an accurate understanding of it. Before you try to convince someone that something is not fair, tell them how you defined it unfair. Other, such as polysemy, have multiple meanings, and should be clearly stated in order to avoid any ambiguity.
The above four "simple" questions can be used to self-test to see if you can communicate effectively.
Therefore, communication is not a kind of persuasion, but an infection, a kind of image display, a manifestation of the same words and deeds.